Unfair (EPILOGUE)

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They only care when you're dead

-Jisung's pov-

I wonder where life is taking me.Hopefully its taking me somewhere fast.Maybe its time.

I should really take actions fast.If I want to be happy then I have to give up a lot of things,people and me.

My life is really dramatic.I fall then I break then there's nothing I can do about it,I have to take what I get.I can't build myself back up again.I mean what's the point?

If life is just giving me a punishment then there's going to be the time in life where it shows me why."This." I point at my blade. "Is this really my key though? what has gone into me? I'm not me.I know I'm not,but for some reason it makes me happy.It makes me feel like what I deserve.

"EVERYONE GET READY FOR RECORDING! WE ARE GOING TO A PARK FOR A PHOTO SHOOT FIRST!" I sigh dropping my blade making a loud metal sound. "I don't even care anymore." I say underneath my breath.

I went to the bathroom to shower.

Hi Han Jisung. A little someone spoke from the mirror. Oh Shadow you're back.
I reply. You left me hanging for a week. I said feeling betrayed. I was preparing a surprise for you. He says back.

"Such what surprise should I be deserved to be given that took a week to prepare. Its something really special.I know you don't deserve gifts but I know you will like this one just you wait Han Jisung. My shadow disappears making me 'alone' in the room.

I stripped out of my clothes and stared at the mirror."Ugly,disgusting." I mumbled touching my scars.I grabbed another blade I keep under the sink. "Give me color." I whisper.I sighed and started cutting, getting a little more frustrated as I continued.I stopped and felt my body shaking.I stare at my shaking hands.

"I've gone crazy." I said feeling somewhat light headed. "HAN HURRY UP WE ARE WAITING!" One of the members complained.

"Yeah yeah." I reply.I got in the shower and sped up my pace.I groan in pain when the water touched my newly cut scars,feeling the stinging sensation.

I got out then quickly put on pants and a shirt with long sleeves.I left the bathroom,greeted by 2 frowning boys. "You could've sped up." Minho coldly spat.I reply with nothing as they left my room.

"What's their problem with me taking a shower.Not a lot of members has even finished yet.Wow I'm being treated fairly."
I mumbled.

"Are they blind or what? My blade that I dropped here was right were they were standing.They didin't even see or even if they did.They did not confront me." I muttered.

What the fuck Han Jisung.Why are you thinking they would care? You really think they would have empathy for you? That's hilarious. "Oh my God you're right.What happened to me there?" I slapped myself for being dumb.

I left my room wearing a mask and glasses.I waited for everyone to finish preparing,keeping myself occupied by scrolling through social media.

"Wow great 31 fans mobbing me that's a record." I thought to myself."Last time there were just 26.People are starting to hate me fast.What next our whole fan base?"

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