The Mishaps and Misfortunes of a Mann

Chapter 6: The Birthday Boy

High school. The part in everyone's life they have dreamt about since they were young. A time of finding yourself, exploring the sense of freedom you think you'll have, and hoping that occasionally the whole school will burst into song and sing "we're all in this together."

Well that's just really not how it works. You go to secondary school after just having been the top in the school only to arrive and feel like a 3-year-old in front of everyone else in the older years. I would say that year 9 is probably socially one of the hardest years in school. You're new, everyone is from different schools and all you want to do is fit in. I guess in some respects you do have the different groups that you see in the movies; the mean girls/popular girls, the bad boys, the nerds, and then there is just everyone else somewhere floating in between. Another important feature about beginning high school is the blossoming of many young teen romances.

Now when I say many, I mean practically half the year was dating by the second week. It happens every year. Girls and boys who have never met are all shoved in to the same place, hormones raging, I mean something is bound to happen.

I was one of the few who didn't find a love interest in the first week, although I did have my sights on a few. The one that I actually ended up 'dating' was not one of the initial selection.

Birthday boy was a very reserved and quiet person, or so I was told because I had never actually had a proper conversation with him before my sudden interest began.

People love to pretend that first appearances don't mean anything and it's what's inside that counts. Well honestly I wish someone had explained this to me before I began my next adventure with this boy.

He caught my eye one day in the lunch hall. It really was like a scene from one of those teenage romance films; the sun gleaming in his golden locks and making his eyes twinkle as he walked past me. And that was when I knew that he was my next victim.

We shared no classes together and none of my friends were his friends so it was particularly hard to initiate anything, but let's not forget I had my ways. It seems our best friends happened to be dating, something I'd like to say was my doing, so this is how I decided to enter his field of vision. That and the twirling of my hair and the laughing excessively loudly, tactics every girl knows.

In hind sight, I really should have made more of an effort to speak to him because I have never not known someone that I have liked, as much as him.The truth is I knew nothing about him, which really should have been a clear warning sign, but when I have my eye on something I just have to go get it.

It was the night of the Halloween bonfire, and I guess you could say it was a rather haunting night looking back at it now!

I had dressed up as an extremely attractive goth, or so I thought, and quite frankly I didn't expect the night to go quite the way it did. It was me and my best friend, and I had already started to sense something was a bit fishy because she kept going to talk to her boyfriend in some secretive way and would then speak to Birthday Boy in the same strange manner.

At one point in the night all four of us ended up together on the same bench. I was sitting in between my best friend and her boyfriend and the Birthday Boy was on the outside. All of a sudden, they swapped places. So there we were, young and embarrassed sitting next to each other. I wish I could say that it was romantic, with the giant bonfire blazing in the background lighting up the night sky and making his skin sparkle with a certain type of magic. But the whole time we were sitting there, our legs just touching, all I could hear was my friend's boyfriend whispering, "do it now" or "ask her now." That killed the element of surprise. None the less, when he finally plucked up the courage to take his friends advice and ask me out, of course I said yes!

There I was, the happiest person alive sitting next to a boy I knew nothing about, I had spoken to all of five times, only just about knew his surname, and he was my boyfriend. So it was safe to say that relationship was pretty much doomed from the get-go.

Now, let's just dive straight into the story of how he earned his name in the book, quite a humorous one looking back at it...

After a couple of days of us being 'together' it finally dawned on me that I knew absolutely zero about him, so I decided to ask a few simple questions, at least in my opinion they seemed simple. As any normal person would want to know, I asked him when his birthday was. You know hoping we would last that long and I could maybe start planning his gift. He clearly did not see this question as simply as I did, or any normal person would. Instead he looked me right in the eyes, completely straight faced, not even the corner of his lips turned up slightly, and simply said; "it's a secret." I mean for the love of god, why on earth would it be a secret? So there I sat, staring back at him too in shock to answer or even laugh. I think that was the moment I knew he just wasn't the one for me.

It was difficult to know what to do or say around someone who thought they shouldn't disclose a simple fact like their birthday. Because of this, we just weren't working out which is why I found it very strange when someone told me that he wanted to kiss me, or 'tap' me were the exact words. I stood there thinking to myself, god forbid he even breathes too much in my direction, let alone lock lips with me.

The relationship went on for far too long due to the simple fact that I still hadn't worked out when, how and where I was going to break up with him. As seen previously, I wasn't always the best with breakups, and even now I still don't know how I would handle one. For some unknown reason, word spread to him that I wanted to end it, so as you can imagine this did not help my cause. Every time I would see him in the corridor or across the path he would simply turn around and walk the other way. I shouldn't have been shocked that someone who thought birthdays were a touchy subject would do everything in their power to avoid confrontation.

There was only one thing for it... an ambush! I wish I could say that it was perfectly planned but it was one of my fabulous plans that I came up with on the spot.

I was early for physics so I was standing looking out the window when I saw him walking to the science block that I was in. This was my one and only opportunity. I positioned myself right next to the door in readiness to walk out straight into him 'by accident.' And so I did, it was extremely well planned out up until the moment I had to speak to him. You see I had spent all my time worrying how I was going to ambush him I had completely forgotten to think about what to say. So of course I started with a bit of small talk just to gently ease into it and then suddenly hit him with the oldest line in the book; "so I was thinking, maybe we should just be friends." Friends my ass. I never looked in his direction again until I met him a year later in the dentist, highly awkward. Anyhow, as you can imagine he didn't take this very well and instead looked at me, said nothing, and then turned and ran straight back the way he came. It seems people have an innate reaction to just run away from me.

All I remember doing was going back into class and physically leaping in the air with utter joy. But you see I had no time to dwell on the past when my next conquest was sitting right in front of me...

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