The Mishaps and Misfortunes of a Mann

Chapter 7: Military Man

It is important to note before diving into this next interest of mine that I had begun to have feelings for this particular boy when I was still dating the Birthday Boy. In my defence, he had not yet given me the opportunity to break up with him, so was I really in the wrong? Before I continue, I should also add that yes, even though at the time I didn't think it, I was very much in the wrong. Ladies and gents, please don't pine after someone if you are already in a relationship, let's just say I know the complications of that, but that's for another chapter.

Now this interest of mine was probably the beginning of my more deeper feelings, and it was one that lasted a lot longer than expected. I should also say this was probably one of the only of my interests where I did not make my feelings known, quite rare for me!

So I guess you could say that year 9 was quite an eventful time for me in the guy department, although it was still extremely unsuccessful.

I often question myself as to why I liked this particular boy but I really wasn't the only one, so there must have been something about him!

It was at the Christmas dinner before our holidays began, and of course being me, I dressed up extremely elegantly, ready to impress anyone. I feel that it is also important to note that yes at this point I was still very much 'dating' the birthday boy, but that was something far from my mind on that not so white Christmas dinner.

Now we all know that the way to a girl's heart is of course through many compliments. This was one of the things I liked about this boy, that he didn't just know that he should give compliments, he knew the right kind of things to say. At least I thought so at the tender age of 13. It was his charm. I remember this particularly vividly as we sat down next to each other on our Christmas dinner table, something I obviously saw as fate. He told me; "you look beautiful, I really like the colour combination on your dress and the way that you've done your hair." Now pay attention ladies and gentlemen and note that not only did he mention that I was beautiful, which quite frankly I already knew, he complimented specific aspects of my appearance, and that's the difference. And so there you go, I had found my next crush.

Throughout the time I liked him he seemed to have numerous different girlfriends, none of whom were me. Also throughout the time, I'm almost certain he had no idea about my feelings for him.

There was one girl that he dated that was in the year above, so already that was a huge game changer, and I basically had nothing on her. On top of that she was, and still is, stunningly gorgeous, so that really didn't help my situation.

There was this one trip I went on, a certain expedition thing, something I would never dream about doing now but then again, I had some questionable decisions back in the day. Anyhow, we were on a hike, and it just so happened that I ended up walking with his girlfriend, and so naturally I did the whole "so, how's your boyfriend?", hoping to get all the gossip and inside scoop, which surprisingly I did. However, I found myself doing the strangest thing and giving her advice on how they should stay together. Let's just say that began my strange tendency to take the back seat with the guy that I liked and for some strange reason, just like from afar. Pretty much self-sabotage at its finest.

This was also a momentous love interest simply due to the fact that it was the first one that really affected me more than it possibly should have. I felt the need to do all sorts of strange things, not really because I thought they would help, but because I had seen them happen in movies. One particular incident was the time I decided to have a bath and sit there with a pot of Nutella and a spoon, crying my eyes out and singing 'leave your lover' by Sam Smith, which clearly did absolutely nothing for me except probably add to my later self-esteem issues from eating all that Nutella. In my defence, I had begun to finally develop into a woman, so hormones were all over the place.

It was strange liking this guy and seeing him with all sorts of different people that just weren't ever going to be me. It was the first time in my life I had a complete lack of confidence in myself around someone that I liked, and that deeply annoyed me. But I still continued to do nothing about it.

However there were some notable moments that I cannot forget to mention;

The first one was in the last week of year nine, and many people had gone on this trip so there were only a few of us left in the class, luckily one of them was Military Man. Naturally as any 13-year-olds do, we saw the fans in the classroom not as implements to cool us down, but something to throw various things at. So there we were all throwing random items at the fan and as a joke Military Man decided to lift me up and pretend to throw me into the fan, all the while I was doing the whole damsel in distress thing and pathetically squealing "put me down" when in actual fact all I could think was 'good lord do not put me down, keeps those arms around me forever!' It's funny to think about all the things that you remember when you like somebody and the simple things that make you happy.

Another notable occasion was on our end of year trip to lake Baringo. An educational experience that turned into nothing more than a complete joke. It entertains me that when you're going into teenagehood all you want to do is spend time with boys and seem cool. So of course all the girls snuck downstairs into the boy's rooms at night. Shortly after, the teachers showed up and the only sensible thing to do was to go onto their balcony. After not knowing how to get back to the first floor of the hotel, one by one all the girls were helped up the balcony and climbed to safety. This was probably one of the stupidest things I could have ever done, seeing as the drop was about 20 metres and I could have plunged to my death. However, I would never have passed up the opportunity to be helped up by Military Man. And so up I went, him holding my waist, me holding his shoulders, and then him slowly and oh so carefully helping me up the balcony in the dead of the night. So evidently that was one of the most exhilarating moments of my life.

Tragedy struck my life on one afternoon in summer.

I was on a road trip with my dad and sisters and there was no signal for about 2 weeks. Half way through we stopped at a restaurant to have lunch and there was Wi-Fi. That was when the messages came flooding in. My best friend promptly informed me that my aunt, the one who's my age, had 'gotten with' i.e. kissed, Military Man. This was absolutely devastating news. How could she have done that to me when she knew I liked him? I was in shock and extremely angry at both of them. At her for betraying me and at him for being the culprit and being so annoyingly clueless about the fact that I liked him. I know I was being slightly over dramatic but I couldn't help it. In my eyes, we were somehow going to end up together. I cleared all this up and forgave my aunt because I know that she wouldn't actually want to hurt my feelings, and honestly it wasn't like he was my property. We now laugh about that moment and I realise it was probably a good thing and in the long run helped me get over him.

A few years later, this particular boy would go on to ask me how he could get with my older sister. So clearly there was never an interest there!

Note: His name in the book is simply because his plan was to go to the army! Not that exciting I know!