The Mishaps and Misfortunes of a Mann

Chapter 9: The Emcee

After liking my best friends brother I took a little break from liking boys. I thought to myself, at the age of 16 I just need to focus on myself and just live my life with no boy drama. Lol.

Now, this next interest was somehow intertwined and jumbled up with a couple of other boys. I have come to realise that my mind works in strange strange ways, and yes, I somehow found myself liking 3 boys at once. To put it plainly, Year 11 was an interesting year of romance for me, so the initial no boy drama didn't really pan out!

I guess you could say that this was a crush that grew on me. Unlike most of the other boys that caught my eye, we spent a lot of time together just as friends before any such romantic feelings.

I got to know this boy when we were in the school play together. I'd like to first point out that this was already a major turn on, the fact that he was interested in acting meant we shared something in common. We happened to be in most of the same scenes together, so we ended up bonding offstage more than anything. I had always found him really cute, attractive and very charming, but at first I never really thought much of it. This is how he gained his name in the book; The Emcee, a character he played who's slightly overdramatic, sort of like him.

As months went by our friendship continued and all the cast members in the play, including my sisters kept telling me that he obviously had a crush on me, which I was reticent to believe. Well, thinking about the idea that he perhaps did have a crush on me made me all the more interested in him. Now, he wasn't one to make his feelings obvious, at least he tried hard to play it cool. He still does that now. But as the months went by I found myself secretly thinking about making out with him in the costume cupboard or backstage when no one was around. This never happened, but oh how I wished it would at the time.

Now, me having a crush on The Emcee was confusing. See, I was confused, and I know that I probably made him confused as well. I did like him, I knew I did, and I knew eventually that he liked me. Due to this fact, it should have worked, but there was always something holding me back. I guess it was the fact that I liked this other boy, whom you will find out later about. My life could have been a lot smoother if perhaps I had stopped waiting around for the other boy to somehow fall in love with me and just went with my other feelings. It was unfair to keep stringing him along. The night that I came to realise that was one cold night at my dad's house in Nanyuki. We were texting, which we had actually begun to do quite a lot, and we were joking around and playfully insulting each other like young teens do, and I said that he was so irritating, to which his reply was; "you are the best thing I can never have."

Now I know that he probably didn't really mean it, but it shook me. I never imagined such words about me to be said by anyone. The saddest part was, that he was right in some strange way. Not because I was out of his league or anything like that, but simply because I had my heart set on someone else. Even at the time I wish I could have liked The Emcee the same way I liked the other hugely complicated boy.

So we continued to text, but I didn't really know what to do because my feelings were all over the place. He however began more and more to make his feelings known and when he asked me if he would be wasting his time if he tried for me, I didn't know what to say. I knew it would be selfish of me to say it wouldn't be a waste but my heart just wasn't in it, at the same time I liked the attention. Which in itself is selfish and I can admit that.

A couple of months past, the play was over, and I never realised quite how much I liked him until he told me he was having a thing with someone else. Someone I knew, and it made me feel strangely jealous but also happy for him at the same time.

Nothing more came of this situation until the next academic year at Christmas time on one drunken night out. He was very drunk, I not so much, but this led to some things. He likes to pretend that I initiated things but I can assure you it was 100% him!

So we were dancing as people do at clubs and my friends suddenly presented me with the idea that I should get with him. I said no and brushed it off but deep down I kind of wanted to, not because I really still liked him but almost because I wanted to appease the fact that I once did. So there we were in the middle of the dance floor and I turn around and there he is. All of a sudden we were making out. Now this was my second 'proper' kiss and let's just say it didn't quite live up to my costume cupboard fantasy. It was sloppy, and just not quite what I had imagined, probably because of how drunk he was and how inexperienced I was. Nevertheless I felt a huge accomplishment for kissing this attractive boy in the green puffer jacket who's scent I could still smell on me even when I went to sleep that night.

The following months weren't awkward per say, but The Emcee is one of those boys that make it awkward in the sense that our friendship was kind of non-existent purely because he for some strange reason thought I still liked him. Which I really didn't. It was more like I had fulfilled a conquest of mine more than anything. But to be very honest, I'd be lying if I said that if another drunken night came along and we happened to be in the same situation I wouldn't kiss him again!

We have a kind of love-hate relationship, except I don't love or hate him so I guess you could say a like-dislike relationship. As he got older, he got a lot less sweet. Maybe it was because he no longer liked me, but he became rude and arrogant in my opinion. Basically he was too cool to be friends with me anymore and I barely ever saw him so I guess the friendship that we once had just disappeared. That's not to say that once in a while, on occasion, I would find myself flirting with him for some strange and unknown reason. As we have seen previously, I really do some strange things. So yes, we do have an odd kind of friendship that isn't actually a friendship mixed with slight sexual tension some might call it.

I also think it is important to note that at the time I liked this boy and he liked me; my younger sister also had a momentary crush on him! This only came to my knowledge long after we stopped liking each other. So from liking my best friend's brother, to having a crush on the same person as my sister, I continued down the path of confused and deranged feelings for the wrong people.

I do often wonder to myself whether our friendshipwould have perhaps blossomed into a relationship had I not brushed him off so easily and had feelings for someone else. Do I regret it? I'm still not sure.

(Hey guys, I hope anyone who is reading is liking it! If you are please vote and comment! Not many chapters left now!)