The Mishaps and Misfortunes of a Mann

Chapter 8: The Best Friend's Brother

My next interest was a little bit of a scandal. I broke one of the first rules of friendship; liking your best friend's brother. I know, I know, it really was a bad situation to put yourself in, for all parties concerned. But nevertheless, I did. As we have seen, and are still soon to see, I really do end up in situations I shouldn't be in, and I suppose you could say that this was the beginning of my more poor decisions in terms of what was right and wrong.

I think we can all agree that the age of 14 and 15 is a time where you think you know the ways of the world and how everything works but you clearly don't. I was one of those people who believed I knew how to handle situations.

I had just started year 10 and my best friends brother had just come into year 9, so yes, he is slightly younger than me, and believe me my best friends have not let me forget that, but that did not phase me and my young curious mind.

I had always found him attractive, which I would have never admitted seeing as he is my best friends' brother. It is still slightly embarrassing because she still happens to be my best friend, and although we laugh about it and its not weird between us, I still feel slightly bad about the whole situation.

You could say it all began after this strange situation with this other boy in year 9 who had a crush on me, and I guess I just liked the attention but never liked him. I had always kind of crushed on The Best Friend's Brother but not ever liked him until we started talking. I didn't really think anything of it and just assumed we were friends, but all the while I high key had a huge crush on him. Well we continued to talk, but I mean I never really mentioned it to my best friend because I just found it strange, and if I found it strange, god knows what she would have thought.

My feelings for him grew, and then one day he told me he liked me. I guess you could say that we sort of started having a 'thing' which just meant flirting I suppose. I would also pretend to my mum (who was a teacher so we lived on school campus) that I had now become a serious student and was going to do my homework with the rest of the boarders at school. Basically we all just had to do our homework supervised in a classroom. I however, only had one goal in mind, and I would simply go just so that I could walk with him for 5 minutes before we started work, and 5 minutes after. I know, my studies were definitely a priority. Also one strange thing that I used to do, you know after watching all those romantic movies, was to purposefully leave my jumper at home when going to walk with him to study just so that I could tell him that I was cold and he could give me his jumper and then I would keep it and always 'forget' to give it back but actually I would purposefully keep it. That never happened so I was cold countless times.

One night, when I was in bed and texting The Best Friend's Brother, he asked me to be his girlfriend. So many things were going through my mind; happiness, excitement... and then I remembered that he was my best friend's brother. After overthinking this one text for abut 10 minutes and getting over the initial excitement of it all, I decided to seek my older sister's guidance. You see she has always been the more sensible one, so we came up with a plan; I texted him back saying we could talk about it the next day because it may have all been some kind of a joke and he might not have even sent the text so I was not about to put my heart out on the line for some boy who asked me to be his girlfriend by text. Men and women, please, just please let's save everyone the drama and just grow some balls and ask people out to their face, it saves everyone the confusion that would soon follow...

The next day I woke up bright and early, the birds were singing, the sky was bright, and I was going to be someone's girlfriend. Or so I thought. I was also still trying to figure out how to tell my best friend who was at the time on a school trip. But to be very honest that was far at the back of my mind in that moment.

That day was absolutely nothing like I had planned. My excitement soon fizzled out when The Best Friend's Brother didn't speak to me. He passed in the corridor and said nothing. I saw him at break, he said nothing. And then, one of my other friends started acting weird and telling me not to speak to him. I was so very confused and I kept asking her what was going on until she told me that it had all been a joke. I wanted to cry, but I also wanted to punch myself. How could I have been so stupid?

That evening, the saga continued to unfold...

Now, I have always been one for the dramatics so when I saw him that evening and he tried to speak to me, I put on my best bitch face and simply stared at him. How could I let this dirt bag of a boy speak to me after such disrespect?

In my head however all I could think was how attractive he was standing there in front of me.

His next words were all a little confusing as he kept saying sorry and claiming that it wasn't a joke. What wasn't a joke? At this point I just needed him to speak some sense. He also kept saying; "I think you know what I'm trying to say." And even though I did know I still stared at him directly in the eyes and said; "So say it then." Which I must say, I am still proud of myself for doing! So after a few ummms and ahhhs he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend (for the second time) to which my reply was; "No."

I know, you must all be thinking, why on earth would you go through all that trouble only to say no? Well I thought to myself, even though I like him, like a lot, this is a guy who asked me out on text, didn't speak to me, pretended it was a joke only to then turn around and tell me it wasn't. So I have morals I told myself and I would make him earn it.

Well I guess he didn't care enough to earn it, because a couple of weeks later I was in the car driving back from ballet when I got a text from him:

I don't like you anymore, soz.

He didn't even have the decency to spell the whole word 'sorry' out. So that's basically how much I meant to him. I mean what is it with guys and either writing things down on notes or sending me abbreviated apologies? I tried so hard not to cry sitting there staring at my phone in the silence of the car as the world passed me by, but I did. All I could think was how stupid I was for saying no to him, just so that I could take some kind of moral highroad and keep my self-respect intact. The reality of it was that I passed up the opportunity to be with someone who I had my first proper crush on. So self-respect was in tacked, but my dignity however, oh that was nowhere to be found.

Over the months that followed, every time I went to my best friend's house, and no for anyone wondering I did not go just to see him, I always found myself wondering what our relationship would be like and how cute our kids would be and how funny it would be that the children's aunt would be my best friend!

As more months went by I still continued to find myself getting butterflies every time I saw him. He got a girlfriend and still I continued to like him. So basically I was the sad ex who wasn't actually classified to fit in the ex's category, and although we all laugh about it now, him included, I was still never really a contender!

Years on and everything is normal and it honestlymakes me laugh to think about how much I liked my best friends younger brother,and even though he gave our 'thing' only a few weeks, I know that deep down hestill felt a little something for me long after, even if he doesn't admit it to anyone,not even himself, I'm sure its true.