Teddy Girls (Completed)

Part Eight: Two of Us

February 2, 1964       

3:30am

      We sat in heavy silence for thirty minutes. Veronica driving silently down the highway, not breaking her gaze from the road ahead. My escape earlier was quick. The van was left running. My suitcase was recklessly thrown in back, and it had landed atop the bed. At one point, Veronica stopped the car violently at a red light. As you can imagine, the suitcase tumbled onto the van floor.

     I looked out the window. I kept taking empty breaths to speak, but never wanted to be the one to break the silence. I could see her look at me out of my peripheral vision. She shifted to speak several times, but never did. Once or twice, she even reached out her hand before pulling away. With each of these movements her leather jacket squeaked in protest. Finally, after an excruciating half hour, she broke the silence.

     "You look awful." She breathed. I finally turned to look at her, my body still sore from my daunting roof jump. Her eyes darted between the road and me. The passing streetlights illuminated her sharp facial features to reveal her worried eyes. I sighed. "You abandon me for over a month, and that's the first thing you're going to say to me?" My voice cracked violently when I spoke. I hadn't meant for it to sound so accusing.

Veronica hit the steering wheel violently. "Goddammit, Rach. Your parents damn near put a bounty on me! There were cops driving around the complex for days. I couldn't leave. I couldn't see you. It devastated me." Her loud voice filled the cabin, and she continued with, "I had to wait until they trusted you again. I had Danny survey the Square every day. Every damn day. Then the day he came back and said you had been there, I couldn't wait any longer."

So she had wanted to save me. This whole time she had been trying to come back. I hadn't been forgotten. "I see." Was the only response I could manage. We rode in silence for a few more minutes until I realized that I had no idea where we were going.

     "Where did you say we were headed again?" I asked. She yawned, which caused me to do the same. "I didn't say. We're going to New York City, babe." She explained, stilling her hands on the white steering wheel. My eyebrows knitted together.

"What? We're going to New York?" I was stunned. At the same time, my words slurred. I was half delirious from the lack of sleep, and my eyes felt heavy. The silence turned heavy again. Veronica pressed on the gas.

     The highway we were on was deserted, probably due to the fact that it was three in the morning. "I thought, you know....that we could start new lives. Up north like you always wanted." She paused, "It'll take us a couple days to get there. Our first stop will be somewhere on the way to Missouri."

I hadn't realized it, but a tear had made its way down my red cheek. A new life. With her. It sounded like a dream. I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't, in fact, asleep. When I felt a sharp pain, I found my answer. This was real. I looked out the window up at the stars. They were beautiful. Like her. I looked back at Veronica to see her staring at me. "That sounds wonderful." I replied, full on crying now.

She reached over the console to grab my hand and this time I let her hold it. "So, frigid as hell?" I joked, referencing her insult about me. She laughed and squeezed my hand harder, "Don't forget a terrible plaything." She added.

     "The worst." I agreed. We both laughed. We were finally back together. The silence between us was no longer heavy, it was comfortable. Officially unable to keep awake any longer, I nestled my head against the van door.

     I eventually fell asleep to the sounds of a staticky radio, and the movement of a rocking van.

•••

I was shaken awake by gentle hands and a soft voice. "Hey, Rachie. We're at a rest stop. I figured you'd want to get out and move to the bed to sleep." She said. I nodded, still half asleep. She had reached across to unbuckle me at some point. I lifted my weary head. "What time is it?" I asked groggily. Veronica moved a piece of hair out of my face.

     "About five in the morning," She responded. "We're right outside of Springfield, Missouri." We had been driving for a long time. I nodded, and she exited the van. I stepped out of the van as well. This turned out to be a mistake. I stood, and almost fell straight to the ground. Luckily, Veronica was already there to catch me. "Be careful. The blood's rushing to your head." She warned.

     I thanked her, and shut my door. She held open the side doors for me. I graciously crawled in and collapsed on the bed. I then remembered that my shoes were still on. I kicked them off haphazardly, and crawled under the covers.

     Veronica shut the doors behind us. I curled into the bed, and closed my heavy eyes. I was so sleepy. My stomach flip-flopped when I felt her slide in next to me. You should touch her. Came an intrusive thought.

     I decided to act on my gut feeling and scoot closer to her. She was laying on her side with her front to me. I was laying on my side with my back to her. As I moved closer, I felt her arm snake around my middle. Her hand was so close to my heart that I'm certain she could feel it's erratic rhythm. As if she read my thoughts, she chuckled and ran a light finger over the site of the pulse.

     A shuddery breath caught in my throat at the phantom trace of her finger. She leaned in close to me, and whispered, "Go to sleep, Rachel. I'll see you in the morning." Her hot breath tickled my ear. I felt her bottom lip brush my neck as she pulled away. I shuddered in excitement. How was I supposed to go to sleep after that?

     As I tried to slip into unconsciousness, a question still rested on my mind. Was I attracted to Veronica? Surely not. Right? But she made my heart beat fast. She made me blush. What was the name for people like Daisy and Gladys? Veronica had told me before, but I had been very unfamiliar with the term. Les? Lessee? Lesbian? Yeah, that was it! Am I a lesbian? Was Veronica?

     She had never told me she was, but she had never had a boyfriend. Maybe she liked boys, and I was just being hopeful that she'd like me. I didn't even know if I liked girls myself. I had never kissed one. On the contrary, I had kissed boys before and liked it. Is it possible to like boys and girls? My head throbbed from overthinking.

At some point, my roulette of self doubt was cut short by the onslaught of a dream.

I was standing on a cliff overlooking a bay of roiling waves. My yellow sundress fluttered at a warm breeze as I took in the crisp morning. A snug beach house stood far below me on the sandy shores, and the caw of seagulls floated on the salty bay breeze.

Veronica walked up to stand beside me. She put a hand on my waist. When I turned to face her, I noticed that she looked years older than she did now. The Veronica here was in her thirties. The tweed Sunhat she wore shadowed her exposed shoulders.

She was wearing a sleeveless polka dotted shirt that was tucked into silk slacks. She looked softer at this age, and had small lines on her face from smiling.

She grabbed my hands and smiled. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine. Her mouth tasted salty. A gift from the ocean to me. She pulled away from me, and the dream faded away.

I had a crush.