Love O2O (Onscreen 2 Offscreen)

Chapter 24

A wise man once said, 'every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end'.

This new beginning comes from a bittersweet one.

A sweet beginning...

... and a bitter end.

Da shen, just woke up. Did you dream of me? ❤

I almost press send.

"Oh, right. We broke up."

Bai chi. How could I've forgotten?

I erase each word and settle my phone on the bedside table. I guess this will take some getting used to.

"This is what you want, right?" I say as I look at myself in the mirror. I wipe a single tear that rolls down my cheeks.

"Pathetic."

I wash my face, hoping that doing so will prevent my tears from falling.

Instead, they flow freely, abundantly.

"Bai chi. You're the one who pushed him away. What right do you have to cry?"

I was the one who hurt him. There's no room for my tears.

I look at him, his eyes smiling brightly at me. Beside him, the girl looks equally happy, bright and without worries. We look so happy in this picture.

Happy and contented.

"Dui bu qi. I'm sorry."

I caress his face, hoping my touch can somehow heal his broken heart.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

Because if I didn't, you would have hurt even more.

"Sorry I had to be selfish."

Because I won't be able to bear seeing you get hurt more so I chose the coward's way out.

"I hope in time, you'll be able to forgive me."

Because frankly now, I still can't forgive myself.

"I also hope in time, you'll find your happiness."

Even if it's not with me.

The mind is very powerful. It can choose to forget a reality, one that is too painful to bear.

Laopo, just woke up. Dreamt about you last night.

But at times, it can also wake you up from your beautiful dream.

"Of course. She broke up with me."

I stare at my message for a long time. I know I should erase it. I know I shouldn't bother her anymore.

Yet, I press send.

Bai chi. Do you really think she'll reply?

My phone vibrates with a new message. I reach hard to check it.

"Yang ge, reminding you about the Pepsi photoshoot. The car will pick you up in two hours."

Who am si kidding? Why would someone who broke up with me wants to talk to me, right? She wants me out of her life that's why she ended things with me.

If accepting it is as easy as saying those words...

... life would be easier.

"Damn you, Shuang. You got me all messed up."

I look at her smiling brightly at me. The guy beside him has the biggest smile I've ever seen in my life. In this photo, they look like their living the happiest and most contented life.

"How can I give you up?"

When you're the only one who has made me feel this much love.

"How can I let you go?"

When you're already tied to mine.

"How can I pretend I don't know you?"

When all I can remember is the warmth of your touch.

"How can I move on and start a new beginning without you?"

When all I want is to build my future with you.

"How can I find happiness again?"

When you are my source of it.

How can you stop me for loving you still?

When you're the only one I've ever loved this much.

"I heard."

I look up and there he is.

"Why'd you do it?"

I shrug. I don't really want to talk about it.

"ZHENG SHUANG."

That's it. He rarely calls me by my full name. When he does, it means he's not amused anymore.

I know I have to tell him sooner than later.

"Maybe I got tired."

"Tired? Can't you think of a more creative excuse than that?"

I look at him, exhausted. "What do you want me to say, Tianyu?"

"I want you to tell me why you would end things with someone who makes you so happy?" He sighs as he sits beside me. "Didn't you tell me you were willing to fight for him when we were doing his VCR? What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"I don't believe it. Something must have happened between that time and now to make you change your mind." He says as he looks at me for a long time. "Is it Jia again?"

"Mei you." I say sincerely. "Jia has nothing to do with my decision."

How I wish it was just Jia. Would have been easier to battle.

"Then who? What? Why?" He sounds frustrated.

"I just want a fresh start."

He whacks my head.

"Aww!" I nurse my aching head. "What was that for?!"

"To knock some sense to you." He says frustrated. "You chose to lie to me, me of all people."

He knows me too well.

"Now, tell me the truth." He says, gazing at me intently. "And don't give me that third party shit with your director."

He really knows too damn well.

"I want to protect him."

"From who?"

"Doesn't matter." I say, avoiding his gaze. "If he continues being with me, he'll just get hurt even more."

"You guys are careful. He always finds a way to secure your meeting place."

It's not that simple.

"But until when? Until when can we date in secret and not be found? Until when can we fool his fans or mine?"

He sits quiet as if pondering my words.

"I'm so disappointed, Xiao Shuang."

I lean my head on his shoulder. "You think I'm a coward, huh?"

He ruffles my hair gently. "Mei you. I know you have your own reason for breaking up with, no matter what it is."

I look at him, curious. "Then why are you disappointed?"

He looks ahead, avoiding my gaze.

"If I have known that things would end this way between the two of you..."

"... I wouldn't have forced myself to stop loving you."