A Christmas to Remember

Patient

Patient 
[Fallen Dreams]
Months had went by and Fallen haven't talked to Eden she is so angry with him but as sure as she is mad Eden is persistent so he keep calling sending flowers texting her until she blocked him sending flowers to her job for her he even took the time to watch her while she was working until she found out and reported him he even became a regular at they're church not saying he was a sinner and didn't go but he didn't go this much I mean he was at every service trying to get her attention and because she is so stubborn she was not moved by anything he did or said and every time service was over she disappeared so she can avoid him and was good at it too.
So one day after Sunday service he asked the pastor her dad to talk for a minute so of course her Dad escorted him to the back and closed the door.
Eden: Hey Pastor how are you.?
Pastor: I am good you know still getting some stuff together for this conference coming up. What's going on son? What you need to talk to me about.?
Eden: Well it's about your daughter Fallen.
Pastor: What you mean? What's going on?
Eden: Well um I hurt her badly over the years and she has always been in my corner and it's not that I didn't know that but I just wanted to get some stuff out my system and soil my wild oaks before I settle down
Pastor: So what's stopping you from doing that?
Eden: Fallen I mean no matter how I try to move on I see her face and I have some pictures in my phone of her to be honest she is the only girl who pictures I saved and made sure I kept because she was always special to me
Pastor: Son listen to me why aren't doing what you set yourself out to do?
Eden: I am confused
Pastor: You said you wanted to soil your wild oaks right?
Eden: Yes.
Pastor: So then why aren't you doing it.?
Eden couldn't answer that question, so he set there with his head down.
Pastor: Ask you self that question.. what is it you want in life now. let me ask you something. How old are you.?
Eden: 29 sir.
Pastor: I bet you wanted to live out your Twenties right and then by 30 settle on down right?
Eden: Well yeah I was gone do that. Pastor you got to understand I had my life all set out and ready.
Pastor: Then something happen right? Son have you asked God what he wants for your life or are you just making plans yourself?
Eden: well um I mean I have prayed but you know things happen and so I pray like when I have the chance
Pastor: In other words no. See here is the problem how can you plan your life and not involve God. What if living out your Twenties is not what God wants for you. What's God plan for your life? And do you even know and if not, why don't you know? Or do you want to know? These are things you should be asking yourself.
Eden: Yes sir. I hear you
Pastor: You hear me no son I need you to listen to what I am saying.. look why are you in my office right now.
Eden: Because I want Fallen sir.
Pastor: Then what are you willing to do. Because I'm gone be honest with you if you did that much you might as well count your loses because girls like my daughter don't come around often they are a dime a dozen and because she is so different in this day and age she is consider the acceptation so if that is what you want then you need to pray and do the necessary things to get and keep her.
Eden: Yes sir. so, um can you help me out.
Pastor: Oh no. no sir you on your own that's between you God and Fallen. Now is that all son.
Eden: Yes sir that's it I'm gone go ahead and get out your way.
Pastor: Okay then son Good to see you I might be calling you for some work I need down in the church. Will you be available?
Eden: Yes Sir ... whatever you need.?
Eden leaves Pastor office and went about his way he gets in the car and Edison is waiting on him and he is looking at him crazy but never opens his mouth so the car ride home was silent and every time Edison looked at Eden he can see that he was cooking up something in his head so he left him alone but once they reached home instead of going in he let Edison get out the car and then he left and all while he was driving he thinks about the day Fallen was talking about and how her eyes sparkled every time she looked at him he also remembers how making her blush was his favorite thing to do every time he could get her to blush his heart would warm up and how can he forget the conversations they use to have and how she let him poor out his heart to her and never once did she judge or make him feel any way about what he said. See she was the only girl who let him say whatever came to his mind and whatever he was feeling she let him get it all out and just prayed for him silently but of course he could feel her prayers it was his strength and why he kept pushing to be a good man because she gave him hope because from what she showed him no matter how wrong he thought he was she always saw nothing but good in him and he needed that from her. But then he thinks to himself "God that was only half of me she saw. God can she handle all of me the good the bad and the ugly. Am I going to be enough for her because God I come with a lot of baggage that's not fair for her" and a tear comes down his eye because he then thought about how she looked at him when she was disappointed in him or how she didn't look at him when she mad at him but the look meant hurt and how can he forget how every time he would scroll down social media and she would put up subliminal messages for him which made him feel bad because the last thing he ever wanted to do was play with her and string her along like a rag doll. He thinks about all of this while driving to the place nobody knew about this place was where he would go to clear his head from what he was dealing with at that time. This place was an apartment building by the water he was on the 10th floor and watching the wind blow off the water he was thinking and he walked out by the water and paste back and forth he cried and screamed talked to God sat there looking at the water then he went back in the apartment building and sat on the balcony and then he asked God "What is she doing right now" and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath but before he could exhale and open his eyes he saw her with her legs folded on her bed crying and then he heard her say
Fallen: God please!!!! Give me my heart back from him [crying hard] God I am sorry for trying to see him differently then what you were trying to show me [crying hard] lord I am just so angry with myself for falling for him God I am sorry [crying hard] I am so sorry for taking my own route and not letting you lead me [crying hard] I know I was dumb for what I did now God help me not to be angry at myself [crying hard] PLEASE!!!! Help me help my heart . God deal with me about me please I am so sorry God I am so so so so sorry [crying hard].
Then God allowed him to feel exactly what she was feeling at that moment and he exhaled and cried out hard he couldn't control it he cried so hard he balled up in fetal position and cried out then he started to talk out loud to Fallen.
Eden : Baby I'm sorry [crying] I'm so sorry I made you feel like this I promise I never meant to hurt you when all you did was try to love me instead I hurt you when you tried to break down the walls I built them back up pushing you away God please don't take her from me God I am sorry for mis treating what I asked you for it was like a slap in your face when I hurt her or pushed her away Lord I promise if you give me this chance I won't do it again Lord give me another chance God I am so sorry!!!!!!
After hours of praying and crying he fell asleep and while he was sleeping he started to dream about his mother in the dream he was talking to her and she was listening to him and she told him something he been wanting to hear his whole life from her and that's "I am so proud of you Butt Butt mommy loves you" and as she walked away she told him "And son don't forget You Can Prosper from your Mistakes". See Eden was not close to his mom like that of course he loved her and took care of her but he was more so around his dad a whole lot his dad groomed him to take care of things and be there for his brother and  sister even though he was the baby he was the only one who wasn't scared to spend time with his dad and take the council and receive nothing but time in return so his dad taught him things that his brother didn't get a chance to learn. So, to hear how proud his mother was meant a lot because through it all he thought he had failed her so while she was sick he thought maybe he was making it up to her.
12:45 a.m.
He woke up and knew what is was he needed to do to get her back but also, he knew all thing take time and he was willing to devote his time to it.
Then Fallen woke up to her phone ringing at 12:45 a.m.
Fallen: Hello
Kelsey : Hi I need your help!!
Fallen: Yeah sure what is it?
Kelsey : Like can you here now please!!!!!
Fallen: First off do you know what time it is .. sorry but no
Then Fallen hears a bunch of noise in the background
Kelsey : Please can you get here!!
Fallen: What the hell is going on over there I don't have time for drama Kelsey especially yours!!!
Kelsey : It's Eden he is having an outburst because of a dream and I cannot calm him down ... Hello ..... Helllooooo Fallen
She looks at her phone and realized Fallen has hung up so she texts her the address and hope she would get there on time to help her.
Kelsey decided to lock herself outside the bedroom until whatever happens happen, she was scared and she was praying that Fallen got there and didn't go back to sleep and then 2 hours later she hears the doorbell ring so she runs down stairs and glad to see who it is she opens the door.
Fallen: Where is he?
She pointed upstairs and Fallen runs up there and opens the door to see him balled up on the floor screaming "Get Out of My Head" and she closes her eyes and take a deep breath.
Fallen: E look at me listen to me look at me E!!
Kneeling to him he starts to look at her and he starts to calm down.
Fallen: You have to calm down I need you to calm down and focus okay I know its irritating but you have to calm down and breath
And he does exactly what she is telling him to do since they were kids Fallen could always talk Eden off a ledge.
Fallen: Now talk to me. What is going on?
Eden: I been having the same dream every night since I got home from the hospital and it gives me a bad headache.
Fallen: What is the dream about.?
He looks at her and see Kelsey behind her.
Eden: I don't want to talk about I just want to sleep peacefully.
So, he gets up and goes to the bathroom puts water on his face and hopes to sleep finally.
Fallen: Alright then I guess I will be leaving
Eden: What no it is too late to be driving out here by yourself ... stay here.
Fallen: Oh hell no .. thanks, but no thanks.
And she starts running down the stairs and he looks at Kelsey as if asking her what should he do.
Kelsey : Oh my God just go ..
Eden: What?
Kelsey : Go after her you know you want to ...
Eden: But I don't want to disrespect you
Kelsey : You not just go make sure she get in the car safe
And he runs down the stairs after her trying to catch her before she gets in the car
Eden: Fallen wait .. Fallen
He says as he steps in front of her car, so she rolls down her window.
Fallen: I am not staying here E forget it I'm going home now move.
Eden: At least text me when you get home.
Fallen: Okay bye.
She pulls off gets home as soon as she can but before she could even get out the car, he was already calling her like crazy.
Fallen: Can I get my foot in the door please sir.
Eden: You home.?
Fallen: YES!!
Eden: Okay good .. um can you say those words to me so I can sleep
Fallen: What words
Eden: You know ... "Don't worry E I got you"
She pauses.
Fallen: Don't Worry E I got You.. now go to sleep.
And as usual he does.
But Fallen couldn't sleep since it was broken so she looks at the time and see its 5 a.m. so she calls who she knows is up.
Rose: Hello
Fallen: Hey girl!!!
Rose: Hey Fall what you doing up this early
Fallen: Kelsy called me to handle Eden.
Rose: What the HELL!!!!
Fallen: That's what I said but I helped her though and left
Rose: Are you okay
Fallen: Of course I am .. I am a big girl I can manage
Rose: No matter what is going on  Fallen you will always be a sister to me and I will always consider you family.. I love you girl
With a tearful eye Fallen says
Fallen: I love you too
Once she hangs up, she starts getting ready to start running and clear her head.
While she is running she thinks about everything that is going on and her heart starts to hurt and she had to stop and catch her breath but while she is catching her breath a voice echoes in her head "But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be per fact and entire, wanting nothing." And she closes her eyes take a deep breath and get up to go back to running
Fallen: Okay God.

Fallen gets home and is tired but couldn't sleep so she calls her dad.
Dad: What you little girl
Fallen laughs
Fallen: Hi dad how are you.
Dad: Fine now what is it.
Fallen: Just calling
Dad: How are you?
Fallen: Okay I guess
Dad: I heard about you checking on Eden
Fallen: Yeah
Dad: I know that was hard
Fallen: Yeah
Dad: All this will get better with time
Fallen: Daddy why do I keep dreaming about him. Like when I dream, I see not just my part but his too
Dad: What you mean
Fallen: Well I see more of his part than mine his version of how he felt during this whole relationship and I never knew he talked to you about me. Why didn't you tell me?
Dad: Maybe God is trying to show something Fallen.. I think you should pray and ask God why he is showing you this.
Fallen: Okay I will.
Then Fallen falls asleep
[Fallen's Dream]
Eden drives to Fallen home and knocks on the until someone answers.
Rose: Boy have you lost your damn mind. Do you know what time it is its 2 a.m.?
Eden: Fallen .... Fallen .... Baby if you are listening, I need to talk to you.
Rose: Boy I am going to tell you one last time to leave-
Then Eden burst through the doors to see Fallen standing at the top of stairs.
Eden : I know I have hurt you in the past and I humbly apologize for that and I am saying to you right now that if you ever gave me a second chance I won't do that ever again I simply cannot get over you and it is the little things I remember about you that gets my heart like how you get happy over a text message or how you get butterflies over speaking out loud .. umm your favorite color is red your favorite food to eat is seafood gumbo you run to clear your mind after a hard day to keep from hurting people with words you bite your lips and turn your eyes to the ground and twist your fingers you stutter when your mad and your eyebrows give away what you are thinking and God I love it when you blush and that twinkle that comes in your eyes is amazing. And this is only half Fallen but I have watched you for years. I guess what am trying to say is I am madly in love with you and can't see life without you I tried it and no one has ever related or touched me like you have . and the thought of losing you makes me want to die . I have never opened up to anyone like I have opened up to you .really no one would listen like you do..
He gets closer to the stair and of course Fallen backs up.
Eden: But umm I want you to know that nothing won't stop me from chasing you and if that means showing up to your job every day until you report me I will. if that means showing up to every service I will forever be the first one there and the last one to leave I am willing to do whatever it takes to get back with you and get back to where we was because I miss you so much and I will not stop sending you flowers and cards and whatever because I need you in my life. Well that's all I wanted to say.
He backs off and walks away in hopes that she will stop him but once he reached the door, he heard a door close and he turned around to her not at the top of the stairs anymore so he looks at Rose with a tear in his eye
Eden: I guess I really blew it this time.
Rose: Yeah you should go and let this ride out.
Eden: Sis I love her.
Rose: yeah I know but things have to heal between you and her first
Eden: you think she will ever want me again
Rose: I cant call this one brother
Eden: Wait..
He runs back to the stair and yells out
Eden: I can love you naked
And he walks away, and Rose is confused but she closes the door and then he gets in the car to see if her light was still on and it wasn't so he closes his eyes takes a deep breath and ask God to help him. And then he opens his eyes and he is in her room not physically but spiritually and sees her sitting on her sitting on her bed
[Knock, Knock]
Rose: Fallen are you okay.?
Fallen: Yeah come in.
Rose: Sorry my big head brother is an ass
They both laughed.
Fallen: Its not your fault
Rose: what is it with you and him why haven't you talk to him?
Fallen puts her head down and sighs
Fallen: I am just tired of him Rose.
Rose: What you mean?
Fallen: No disrespect but
Rose: Oh no none taking just talk to me
Fallen: its just when we have heart to heart and moments like these.. he um he pushes me away we get close and then he pushes me away making me feel like crap afterwards so I just decided to stay away so I can stop hurting myself
Rose: I understand but Fallen I have never seen him act like this like EVER over a girl he is always cocky but with you he is shy and gentle and calm he is his self and I like that ... he don't have to try to be someone when he is around you.
Fallen: I am just scared.
Rose: And then girl did you hear him when he got ready to leave I was like huh
Fallen: No what he say.
Rose laughs
Rose: He said he can love you naked.
Fallen looks at her and gasps real hard because she didn't think he was listening when she said that 4 years ago then he comes back to and gets ready to pull off.
So the next few weeks he came and didn't bother her as much he still sent flowers and stuff but he just backed off a little bit giving her space and every time she saw him she acted as if she didn't and it was hard for her she didn't like treating him like this but too much has happened in the past for them to just move on. But while she is in the bathroom trying to get herself together, she walks out and runs right into Eden
Fallen: Sorry
Eden: Its fine
She doesn't look at him in his eyes she just looks down as she tries to walk away
Eden: Wait Fallen
Fallen: E leave me alone
She says as she walks away trying to reach the door and when she do, she runs in her car as fast she can and pulls off. But while she is driving a memory comes to her mind.
Eden: Hey Kels you look nice.. where you are going
Kelsey : Nowhere crazy and thank you.
Looking at her up and down he gives her a sinister smile and leans on the wall
Eden: I came to your house and you didn't answer so I left
Kelsey : Well I came by your house two days ago your brother said you wasn't home so I went somewhere else
While checking her out he followed her outside and without paying attention they never realized that Fallen was standing there. And just when Fallen thought she was over it a pain pierced through her heart because she was done with him after that incident, she promised to never let him hurt her like that ever again and while he didn't know she backed all the way off of him.
She pulls up to her house to see Eden standing there
Fallen: Leave me alone
Eden: Talk to me
He says as he grabs her hand and she quickly snatch away from him
Fallen: Bye
Eden: We cant do this forever.. please talk to me
She unlocks the door and walks in she tried to close the door, but as usual Eden caught the door and walks in behind her
Eden: I am sorry please just talk to me
Fallen stands by the stairs and she holds on to the rail
Fallen: Please just
Eden: No not this time ... Fallen what is it why won't you give us a chance what did I do that bad that you won't budge
Fallen get weak and starts to tear up so she tries to walk up the stairs, but Eden want let her so he grabs her and kisses her but she bites him on his lip and then slaps him
Fallen: Have you lost your mind
Eden: Talk to me .. at least look at me please
Fallen looks down
Eden: FALLEN LOOK AT ME!!!!!
Fallen: What do you want  E huh.? Why you keep doing this to me huh? I am tired of it for years we do this then you disappear on me leaving me to feel like crap and now I don't have time for it anymore.
Eden: I will be different this time I promise please don't be through with me.
Fallen looks up at him for the first time in a long time and a tear runs down her face.
Fallen: I don't trust you.. you know why E huh.
Eden: No tell me.
Fallen: Because you push me away every time we get remotely close and can move to the next level you build a wall against me leaving me to wonder what did I do wrong.
Eden: I wont do it again
Fallen: Then you come back expecting me to just take you back with no problem and no I can't do that not again
Eden: I cant lose you
Fallen: You lost me when you picked Kelsey over me. remember
Eden: What?
Fallen: October 31  you chose what you wanted and left me there hurt when all I wanted was you ..you chose Kelsey  in front of me and it was like a knife went through my heart.. that's when I backed off from you altogether, I am not a fighter when it comes to men you know that and it took everything in me not to smack you in your face but it wasn't like you cared anyway.
Remembering what she was talking about he hung his head down in remorse
Eden: Yeah I remember that and I am so sorry.
Fallen : I turned a blind eye to EVERYTHING I saw you do and still acted as if it didn't bother me I saw you E I watched you with everything you did I saw you flirt with all the girls who wanted you I watched you try and spread yourself between me and all the other girls well one in particular and I never threw it in your face I never brought it up but one time and that was just to tell you she liked you and even then you acted stupid when it was right in your face .. talking about you saw me yeah I saw you too but still I didn't judge you I tried to love you anyway and instead of you embracing me you kicked me to the curb and to think of it I sat there and listen to you with how you were stressed and what you was handling and EVERYTHING and you still played me. I felt like SHIT!!!!!!
A tear came from Eden's face and fell to the ground he remembered why he said what he said to Kelsey.
Eden : I was jealous because you was talking to my best friend about pictures and I know him and what he is capable of I really didn't want you talking to him so in a moment of anger I hurt the person who has my heart and I felt so bad after I did that and I knew I made you angry I felt you I felt your rage and I hoped you would calm down and forgive me but I knew I took it to far and so I didn't show my face because I didn't want face you and I would not been able to take watching you walk pass me and not speaking because we had gotten so close and I needed you then and when I asked God what you were doing he allowed me to hear you and how angry you was with me and how you hoped I would show my face so because I knew I was wrong I honored your request until I felt your worry for me even though you was so angry with me you still wanted to make sure I was alright I heard you when you said "God I know I am mad at him but I don't want to be the reason he not in your house" I saw you in the bathroom when you looked at my picture and I heard you say "I can't do it" because all that kept running through your mind was what I said to her and her response .. I heard you talking to your home girls and your sister I heard everything you said and it hurt me to know I did so much damage to you and make you so angry Fallen every night you cried I did too when you thought of me I was thinking of you too we have always been connected like this because that rib that is missing in me is in you and because of that we are made one always have been when you hurt I hurt when I am angry so are you anytime I would freak out you would too that feeling you always felt in your stomach felt like butterflies ... it wasn't it was me  thinking or talking about you or praying for you anytime I need to know what you doing or just to see you I close my eyes and take a deep breath and I know what you doing and where you are .. Fallen it got so bad that when I would have those night or mid-morning feelings and I would by myself in my bed I would pull up your pictures that you took on my phone then close my eyes to see you doing something similar but with no picture it was weird but I like it because it's you and to see you in ways I haven't seen you in was amazing and I felt closer to you... Fallen I heard you when you would call for me in your mind ask me to show my face. Please baby don't give up on me or us
He says as he kneels down
Eden: Fallen baby I am all yours please don't give up on me.. I love you
She puts her hand over her face while she is crying hard
Eden: I know you felt like I didn't care for you that much but Baby you don't even know how much I care and love you its almost sickening because I have always been crazy about you.!
She looks at him. Then walk towards him and kneels in front of him and said while wrapping her arms around his neck and putting her head against his.
Fallen: I never stopped loving you E
And they kissed and hugged he picked her up and wrapped her around his waist and held her tight
Eden: I promise not to push you away anymore!!!