Finding You // s.m.

four

"Shawn, you can't say that."

"I do, I love you. I still do. I haven't stopped."

"You can't just expect me to be okay with you saying that! You... you-"

"Millie, I didn't expect anything. I love you and I still want to marry you because I know we can get through this. But, I also know you need time to figure this out. I only ask one thing, stop doing crazy drugs and drinking." He sat back in the chair.

"Shawn, you really-"

"No, I didn't really want to anything. I wanted to see you because Sav and Chris told me how bad you are getting. It needs to stop. I know I hurt you and that chapter is done. You see the house. I see how you are. We need to fix this, it's too messy."

"Okay, but you can't-"

"Millie. I love you. I will forever love you because the first time I saw you I had already known I was going to marry you. Even if it takes me ten years to fix this. I want you to be mine forever, if its the last thing I do. I'm glad I found you before things went so horribly wrong. I'm glad that we found each other when we did because that gives us time to find ourselves and figure out how we are going to fix each other."

I sat there speechless.

"I don't expect you to say anything. I want you to think about it, fix yourself, then find me. I won't go anywhere."

I nodded and he stood up. He stuck his hand out and I took it, helping me stand. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me close to him, my arms wrapping around his torso. I felt my eyes well up and tears began to fall immediately. I took a deep breath and pulled away.

We stared at each other for what felt like hours and he leaned down. He pressed his lips to mine, holding my face in his hands. I kept my hands on his waist and he let go. He didn't try to push anything. I sighed and left for the door.

"Millie?"

"Yeah, Shawn?"

"Please come back to me." He sadly smiled.

I nodded and left. I got in my car and drove home, but I don't even remember driving. I was too busy thinking about everything he said. I went into my apartment and sat on my bed. I rubbed my face and tried to think about what I would do.

Yes, he hurt me. But, he said it wasn't on purpose. He also had been speaking to her for months and hadn't told me. But, Ivan even knew about it.

I groaned and threw myself back into my pillows. I grabbed my phone and went onto twitter. I saw pictures of Shawn and I all over my timeline. Most of them were saying how excited they are that we are seen together. Some were extremely negative, saying everything was my fault.

I started a tweet, saying:

i'm giving all i can, but all you ever do is mess it up

(Naked by James Arthur slaps, anyways)

I sent the tweet and turned on some music. I continued to look through the photos of us and we looked terrible. I saved one and sent it to Shawn.

Millie
Attachment
We look horrible

Shawn
I look gross, you
look like someone
who has gone thru
shit

Millie
I am someone who
has gone thru shit
asshat lol

I laughed and went back to twitter. I got a notification that Shawn tweeted, it reading:

I want to give you everything

I smiled. Those were the lyrics from the same song I tweeted. I saw tweets freaking out about us tweeting at each other and chuckled. I checked my messages and saw I had a bunch coming in. One caught my eye.

user: mcmendesevans
i'm so glad you guys are back!
you are my absolute fav couple.
such a shame you guys broke up
for so long, you guys are
seriously meant for each other,
can't wait for your kids!!

I laughed and replied.

millieevansofficial
don't think there will be
any kids soon! meant to be
is a good way to describe
us, you could say lol

I sent it and continued to scroll through twitter. The girl freaked out and tweeted the chat, people saying congrats and freaking out with her. Shawn texted me, but I didn't feel like answering it right away. I say different tweets with our photos and cringed at some of the comments people made. Some girl with the original photo tweeted the whole thing.

guys!!!! millie and shawn are in the coffee shop together right now!!!
i'm freaking out!!
omg shawn cheated on millie????
no wait, he didn't cheat, some girl named rose came onto him?
guys look at how broken they both look *image*
they are leaving for his house!
guys!! i didn't get a photo with them, please stop asking for more details! it was really loud and they were pretty quiet about it all

I sent the tweets to Shawn. He was upset about it and wanted to tweet, but I convinced him not to. It would only make things more messy. People were already trying to find the Rose girl. I felt bad for what was about to happen to her, but she got herself into it.

I got two notifications on twitter, one tagging me in Shawn's tweet, the other from Sav.

Hey everyone! I would be glad if everyone could stop tweeting about @/millieevansofficial and I's conversation, it was private :)

I rolled my eyes and went to Sav's.

My love birds are back and I have never been happier!!!!!

I rolled my eyes at her tweet and decided to tweet.

Hey loves! Shawn and I met up and had a long conversation, which should've been private. Please keep the other girl out of this and please respect our privacy :)

People started to tag an account under my tweet and it was the Rose girl. I groaned and looked at her profile. She was a model from Ireland. She was born in the US but moved when she was young. She was 19. Her profile was almost empty, until I found her instagram.

I scrolled through it and saw some of her photos. Some of them tagged Shawn, but he wasn't in them. One of them caught my eye and it was her at a club, Shawn in the back with a drink and Ivan with a drink. There was people all around them and she was leaning so her chest was all out.

"Slut." I mumbled.

The caption was 'Clubbing with the boys'. It didn't even make sense. I got mad and decided to get off her profile. I went onto twitter again and scrolled until I got tired and wanted to take a nap.