Finding You // s.m.

twelve

Again, please, if you are sensitive to abuse skip forward a few pages.

After we ate and sat around, I decided to go back to Will's. I helped clean up and gave them both a hug before leaving. I didn't drink at all through the night, making sure to be safe while getting to Will's.

I parked my car and headed inside. The lights were out which meant he still wasn't home. I sighed and went to the bathroom. I changed into short and a tee shirt, putting my hair into a ponytail and washing my face.

I brushed my teeth and went to his bed, crawling under the covers. I plugged my phone in and pulled the covers up to my neck, falling asleep.

I was woken up to Will stomping into the room. He turned on the lights and I squinted my eyes to look at him.

"I want you." He mumbled, coming over to my side of the bed.

"Will, I'm really tired, can we wait till tomorrow?"

His hand grabbed my neck and he moved over top of me, his grip wasn't too tight, but it was uncomfortable.

"I said, I want you, so no. We can't wait." He grumbled.

He stood, removing his clothing.

"Will, come on." I sighed.

He pushed the covers off of me and grabbed my shorts away.

"Will, seriously, stop." I said again.

"Millie, be glad someone wants you. I mean, look at you. You are fat and honestly, not even that hot." He said.

The words stung and put a lump in my throat. He ripped the shirt over my head and he pressed his lips over my skin. His lips left a nasty burn over my skin, not the good kind. He sucked on my skin, anywhere he could. He took off my underwear and I felt useless under him. After he finished, he fell next to me and he laughed.

"Round two soon." He smirked, getting up.

He went to the bathroom and I stayed put. He came back out soon and grabbed my arms, yanking me to sit up. He roughly opened my jaw and pushed himself into my mouth. I felt tears stream down my cheeks as he pushed himself to the back of my throat.

His hands gripped into my hair and yanked my head. He soon got bored and told me to get on all fours. He slapped my ass as hard as he could and forced himself in again. His fingers tangled into my ponytail and he yanked it.

He finished again and pushed me to lay down.

"You didn't finish?" He asked with a smirk.

I bit my lip to hold back to sob that begged to come out.

"I can fix that." He pushed my legs open and moved to between them.

He bit at my legs and sucked on them, leaving dark marks. He pushed his fingers in and out of me and I tried to hold back. I soon came around his fingers and he shoved them into his mouth, cleaning them off and then myself with his tongue.

He smirked and laid down next to me.

"Good girl." He muttered, his eyes shutting and soon he began snoring.

I jumped from the bed and put on my shorts and shirt, running down the stairs. I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water, chugging it down. I held back my sobs and tried to calm down. I went to the couch and laid down, pulling the blanket over me, falling asleep.

My days felt like they were on repeat.

I was woken up on the couch by Will, him asking why I slept there, asking why I had new bruises, apologizing and saying it wouldn't happen again.

The next morning he woke me up and he was confused why I had so many hickies on me. I explained what he did and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me for far too long. I told him it was okay and he went to the gym.

The next week played the same way. He came home fucked up and hit me for something, using my body for his own pleasure, and then going to sleep, just for the next day to be the same. I felt my body becoming so worn down from this, I saw it too. The bags under my eyes were almost as dark as the bruises on my body.

I asked myself the same question everyday, how the hell did I end up here? I tried many times to leave Will, but he begged me to stay and told me he would be better.

And I stayed.

I was out one day at the mall, shopping for a new dress for a work party. I ran into a few fans of Shawn and they professed how they loved me and wanted pictures. I gladly accepted and did. They left and I found a dress, going back to Will's.

I was sat on the couch, scrolling through twitter and saw the girls I ran into earlier posted the photo. They made a thread of the meeting. They said I looked dead inside, my eyes were lifeless, I was thin, I looked broken. They said something was off when they went to hug me, that I flinched. I don't remember even doing that. The photo and thread was quickly spread through the fandom.

Many tagged Shawn and some were apparently sending it to him through dm. I was getting messages and tagged in tweets. People were seemingly getting more and more worried. I figured I should probably tweet to settle everyone.

hey guys! i'm doing just fine! working hard, no sleep, thats all lol

I tweeted and got replies. Some were asking what was on my wrists and why I had a dark spot on my neck. I looked back at the photo and you can see a bruise around my wrist and the spot where Will's thumb pressed too hard.

I guess I missed it before I left. It wasn't long after until I got a text.

Are you okay?