Lazarus

18

The days were pretty easy with Lazarus; during the day I would clean while he worked. I had to clean all the rooms once again, which took me a few days since I was the only one working on them. Lazarus didn't even offer to help, which showed his old fashioned ways. Although I was originally hired to be a maid, I would have thought he would have grown a pair, and helped his wife clean HIS CASTLE!

Stella would occasionally stop by. When she did, she always brought us meals since we were no longer allowed to leave. Lazarus said it would blow our cover, since I'm just a new vampire and being near humans could have been a risk; I didn't question it.

Our sexual experiences together became more frequent as well. I still wasn't too sure if I wanted to have sex, I knew Lazarus would be my first and only since we were married and it wasn't like I could just leave, and find a whole new place and start a whole new life, especially after becoming a vampire.

It had been around a month since everything went down, we were laying in bed holding each other, under the sheets. I played with my ring while Lazarus rubbed my tummy in soothing motions. I was having period cramps, but nothing was coming out. Stella explained to me it was a normal thing for vampires we didn't have any blood to have a period.

"I hope this isn't what childbirth feels like," I groaned.

"What do you mean?" Lazarus paused.

"I mean, we will have kids one day probably. I just hope it doesn't feel like this," I cringed as another cramp made its way through my vagina, causing me to curl up in a ball. Tears stung my eyes, and I held my breath until the pain passed over.

"We can't have children," Lazarus explained once my cramps had gone away.

"Why not?"

"Well...because vampires just can't," he sighed.

"Is it a vampire thing, or is it a you thing?" I pushed his hand off of me and sat up.

"No it is a vampire thing," he frowned.

"Why was I not made aware of this?" I snapped.

"I thought Stella would have explained this all to you."

"Well she didn't," I snapped again his frown deepened as a pit formed into my stomach. I would never be a mother. I would never have the experiences I wanted as a child. Although I was young, I knew one day when the time and the special person came around I knew I would be ready.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know what to say," he mumbled. I took a deep breath and laid back down.

I didn't say anything else, I just fell asleep feeling like my heart had been ripped from my chest.

The next morning we didn't speak; I just got up and tried to find things to do. There wasn't much in the castle I hadn't found a secret library or hiding place I could entertain myself with.

That night Stella came to deliver us our packets of blood when she stepped in I immediately questioned her.

"Is there anything in this castle I should look for?" Her eyes widened at my question.

"Not really, there is only the secret room that leads to a basement from the throne room," she handed me my packet.

"Is there a library?" I asked, she shook her head. "Can you bring me something to do next time you come?"

She simply nodded.

Lazarus waltzed down the stairs before greeting us at the door. Stella handed him the packet of blood before he made his way back upstairs to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"For what?" I had a feeling it was about the baby situation, but I didn't know for sure.

"I should have explained to you everything maybe it wouldn't have caused a fight," she mumbled. I fiddled with the packet of blood in my hand. "You don't have to accept my apology just know I am really sorry," she spoke before she left.

I stayed silent and made my way to the kitchen. I found a cup and poured the thick substance into it. I closed my eyes shut as I drank it; It quenched my thirst, and I felt stronger.

After finishing my drink I knew I couldn't avoid my husband all day. I knew it wasn't his fault I couldn't be a mother. I tossed the glass into the sink and made my way to the room we shared.

He was awake under the covers, he was staring up at the top of the canopy bed. His eyes swirled with a pool of regret and exhaustion. He didn't bother looking in my direction when I entered the bedroom. I prepared for bed in silence knowing that he probably needed peace.

I poked at the fire and added a few logs to it before I crawled into bed. Lazarus didn't even look at me he just wrapped his arm around me. I slept that night facing away from him, which was odd because we were usually very close in proximity. I felt almost as if our marriage would never be the same, knowing I couldn't have children, but I wanted them.

The next week was so different too. Stella brought me books mostly about vampires and romance, so I spent most of my time in bed reading while Lazarus worked. We barely spoke which was hard because I was so used to being wrapped up with him and talking. Part of me wanted the silence to end, but I didn't know what to say to him. When we did speak it was just to see who was answering the door when Stella came, or the rare I love you before we went to bed.

One night, I just couldn't take the silence any longer.

"So is this how our marriage is going to be for the rest of our lives?" I questioned him before he fell asleep.

"What do you mean?" he mumbled, he was on the other side of the bed. Both of his arms were under his head, acting as a second pillow.

"We haven't talked normally since the baby issue."

"I figured you didn't want to talk," he didn't even open his eyes.

"You never asked me what I wanted either!"

"You never told me what you wanted you've been silent too," he defended.

"I didn't think you were happy with me," I replied honestly.

"That wasn't the case, I just thought you needed space," he opened his eyes. He slowly removed his arms from under his head and wrapped them both around me. I felt tears start to rise to the surface, so I pressed my face into his chest and tried to muffle it. It didn't take long for him to notice me sobbing but when he did he kissed my tears away.

That night I fell asleep in his arms happy and knowing that whatever came our way. we would be able to get through it.