Clean cut American kid ~ Stranger things

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Trees flash past us as Billy drives out of the small town. I don't say anything, don't question him in where we're going, just sitting silently and sipping vodka. I'm feeling the warmth from the alcohol spread through my body. I smile to myself. This is not so bad. The nature is beautiful and bestows me with calm. Billy turns onto a small gravel road and we are swallowed behind the trees. It's starting to get a bit darker outside. I don't think anybody could find us here. The gravel road comes to an end in front of a giant field. Billy turns off the engine and steps out of the car. I stumble a bit when my feet hit the ground and have to lean against the car door before I'm focused enough to follow where he's going.

"Where are we?" I ask when I stand next to Billy and stare out at the field just like he's doing.

"I don't know, I like to just drive sometimes when I want to be by myself." He says mindlessly before he turns to me and takes the bottle out of my hand. "You seriously drank half of it all ready." He holds the bottle up and scoffs. I just shrug and he takes a few swigs for himself. It doesn't cross my drunken mind that he's the driver. He walks over to a large rock and takes a seat. I light a cigarette and go to sit next to him.

"What's your plan now?" Billy says and pulls out his own cigarette. I shrug again. "Well I hope you come up with something now that you've brought me into this."

"Fuck you," I mumble under my breath.

"Fuck me? Seriously Sherry?" He sneers and turns to look at me. "What the fuck did I do?"

I turn to face him with a look of unbelief. "You piss me off all the fucking time!"

"Because you've made yourself such an easy target," he scorns and leans closer to me causing me to lean backwards and eventually jump to my feet.

"You're an asshole!" I give him a shove and he raises to his feet as well.

"At least I'm not a criminal!"

I stop for a second and stare at him with my mouth open. "You think you're better than me," I conclude to myself in disbelief. I know there's no point in arguing about this with Billy of all people but I can't help myself from pleading my case. "I've done some bad shit but it's been because I had to, you do horrible shit to fuel your ego and scare people!" I know in the back of my mind this lash out will bite me in the ass later because it's in front of Billy. But I can't focus on later because by then I will be caught by the police and shipped back to rehab. "I'm fucking miserable and you don't give a fuck about that, do you realise what a fucking privilege you have to be so bored with your perfect little suburb life that you go ruin everyone else's!"

Within a second Billy charges forward and grabs my wrists and pins me in front of him. "You don't know shit about my life," he hisses quietly. His warm breath fans over my face from our closeness. I have to refrain from cowering beneath his threatening glare. I hit a nerve. There is something weighing him down. Maybe we're not so different after all.

He gives me a hard shove away from him and I almost fall on my ass. I get a little disappointed. I want to agitate him. I want to fight with him. How come this time out of every fucking time he decides to walk away from me!?

"YOU DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME BILLY!" I roar and run after him. I start clawing on his back and pull on him. He keeps going as if I'm no more than a little fly. "FUCKING FIGHT ME YOU ASSHOLE!" I jump up on his back. Billy grunts loudly and reaches over his head to grab a hold of me. He whips me over his head and I fall onto the ground. The air is knocked out of me and my spine screams in agony when it crashes against the gravel beneath us. I'm paralysed in shock. This is what I want. Physical pain is the distraction I want. I focus on the stinging in my head, and the warmth spreading through my body. Am I bleeding? No I think it's just bruising. Tears stream down my eyes. It feels liberating to feel so much at once.

"Fucks sake Sherry." I hear Billy's raspy voice and feel him scoop me up in his arms to place me back on my feet. I whimper when the gravel against my back shifts as I'm lifted from the ground. I briefly notice the remorse in his eyes before I let my forehead fall to his chest. I start giggling. Now he's feeling bad.

"You're fucked up," he admits. His voice is a lot softer than it was a minute ago. Than I've ever heard. I raise my head to look at him. His usually cold eyes hold emotions. It's remorse and pity mostly, but there's something else too. Is he admiring me? It all dawns on me. Why he helped me in the first place and drove us all the way out here. He said he likes to drive when he wants to be alone. For whatever reason he needs a distraction as much as I do.

"You're too," I say. Standing this close and being so focused I notice the smallest shift in his face. I don't know what it means. He moves one hand to cup the back of my head before he pulls us together. It's strange to kiss him. I've never kissed someone because I wanted too before. He's a good kisser. His lips are soft and slow. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. His hands move down my back to wrap around my waist. I reflexively shrink away from his hands when he grazes my aching spine, causing me to press further into his body.

"Sorry," he mumbles against my lips. I shake my head briefly before kissing him again. I don't want to think right now. It might be alcohol pushing me but I don't care. We stumble over to his car and separate only to climb into the backseat. This is the distraction I want.