Inconsequential Love // Sodapop / Dallas Winston / Love Triangle

Chapter 8 -Too easy

I had no choice but to ignore Dally. The way he was talking, the things he was saying, I didn't even want to listen to it. Just hearing his words made me feel like I was cheating or doing something wrong by being there and knowing how he really felt.

He lingered there for a while, waiting for a response, waiting for me to acknowledge things. I don't know what he expected, for me to run into his arms and kiss him wildly? For me to break up with Soda over this new information?

I was getting a headache and my palms were sweaty. I felt sick. I just wanted to ignore this for as long as possible - there was nothing I could do now about it anyway. I wanted to ask him why now, why didn't he say something sooner, but I bite my tongue and walk forward.

When I step back into the house with Dally at my heel I see Soda sitting on the couch, his head hanging low, looking in clear distress. Johnny and Pony are MIA but Steve and Two are on the couch next to him and everyone looks up when we enter. I smooth my sweater dress down and swallow the lump in my throat as he looks up and meets my eyes.

No one says anything for a second, but the silence is suddenly broken by a beer tab being pulled open. I look at Dally, who seems to have picked up a beer on the table. He gives me a look like 'what?' and leans against the frame of the door as he puts the can to his lips.

"Can I talk to you, Soda?" I ask nervously, looking toward his room for privacy. He doesn't say anything but he nods and stands, leading the way.

I close the door quietly and take a deep breath. There are so many thoughts in my head I don't know where to start but I know I need to fix this somehow. "Look, I know things have been-"

"I can't do this anymore, Vee," He says before I can even finish my sentence. I look toward him, startled and confused. He must see the look on my face because he slumps his weight onto the bed, head in his hands. "I'm so sorry, I love you, I do, I just -"

"You're breaking up with me?" I say, surprised though I guess I shouldn't be. If anyone should be dumping someone I just kind of felt like it should be me. Shouldn't he be the one in hot water? Apologizing to me?

"Look, this isn't...it's just not going to work, is it?" He asks, looking up at me. His blue eyes are glass-like, making my heartache that he's actually on the verge of tears. "I'm not like this, Vera. I'm not jealous or violent, this isn't me. This relationship is making me go crazy."

He's right and I know he's right, I was just saying the same thing, that I didn't recognize him anymore. I hate that I've been making him like this, I hate that I'm the one doing this to him - when I didn't even mean to. "Soda, I didn't know how much this was hurting you," I say, biting my lip. "I didn't mean to-"

He shakes his head quickly. "You didn't. You didn't do anything. I just can't get passed the whole...him thing. He's always going to be around, it's always going to be on my mind, I just can't shake it."

I nod as if I understand when I don't. Wasn't the whole point of relationships talking and working on things? I feel resentment towards him at the fact that he's just giving up, like it's so easy for him to just get rid of me.

"I guess you can finally be with him now...now that I'm not in the way." He mutters, looking away.

I laugh, I couldn't help it. He looks at me like he's serious and I can't help it but roll my eyes. "You can't be serious. You can't just say shit like that to me." I tell him, now feeling actual anger. "What are you looking for? Confirmation that I won't? Am I supposed to cry and tell you that I can't stand him, that I'll only ever pine for you?" My voice starts to rise and I try to keep it down, knowing the gang can probably hear.

"No, I'm just saying that I won't be upset if you end up going with him now." He says, backtracking.

"Well, that's just bullshit!" I yell, not being able to help myself. "You can just, what, give me your blessing to screw someone else? You're just totally cool with that? Either you're full of shit or you never cared about me to begin with." I say, not wanting to be here anymore in this room with him. I can't even look at him right now, hating that I let myself even get involved.

"Vera, wait, I didn't mean - I love you, please, just -"

But as he's standing and trying to hold onto me I'm tearing out of his grasp and out of the room. Tears are spilling from my eyes now as I rush into the living room and spring for the door, needing to bolt. Dally grabs my arm and looks at me crying, his brows creasing together. "Hey, woa, wait, what's-"

I grab my arm back and feel the skin burn at the action. "Oh fuck off, Dal." I say as I throw open the door and head off down the road, away from all of them and their bullshit.