Inconsequential Love // Sodapop / Dallas Winston / Love Triangle

Part 19 - Smut Warning!

I'm sitting on the couch with Johnny, my arms wrapped around my knees as I try to shrink myself. I'm shivering a little but it's not cold, I'm just bundled with nerves. Johnny stares at me in disbelief at what I just told him, shaking his head. "You can't leave, Vee...where will you even go? By yourself?"

"I'm going to New York."

"New York!" He exclaims, shocked by this. "Do you know how far that is?! Why don't you just go a state or two over at least - then maybe you can come back in a couple of months and -"

"That's just the point, Johnny. If I come back in a couple of months whose to say this won't just all restart?"

"No offense, Vee, but I'm sure Soda will be by someone once he thinks you're gone forever." Johnny tells me sheepishly. That's one of the things I love about him, despite how shy he may seem he'll always be honest. He doesn't like to lie to people and always chooses brutal honesty over a happy lie.

"And then when I come home? You don't think that'll just mess up whatever new relationship he may have? I don't want to mess with him anymore. Dally either. He can just move on, start over, be happy." I say, picking at my split ends anxiously. 

"Yeah or maybe Dal will go back to Slyvia. Ever think about that? She's a hundred times worse for him than you are, even with all this going on."

I had thought of that. It wasn't a sure thing but it hurt my insides to think about. If Dally went back to Slyvia that might be even worse for him than all this drama right now, Johnny was right about that. But I had to risk it. There was a big chance Dally and Soda would both be fine with me gone - better even.

"I already made up my mind, kid." I tell him, giving him a soft smile. "But...I wanted to ask...if you'd go with me." I get out. I meet his eyes as they widen and look away from mine quickly. "Just think about it, Johnny. Hear me out, okay? We could get our own place, an apartment. You wouldn't have to deal with your mom hounding on you or...you know, your dad. You'd be completely free, you could do anything you want! You wouldn't even have to worry about all this gang shit and needing to carry a blade - you could start over!" I get out excitedly, trying to convince him. 

"I can't." He says quickly, shaking his head. "This is my home, Vee. I can't picture me in New York, I can't picture me anywhere."

"Johnny, please." I grab his hands, squeeze tightly. "You're more my family than anyone else here. I can move on from all the other garbage here but I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I left you. Come with me. Please."

He gives my hand a hard squeeze back, then releases it from my grasp. "I just...can't." He says again, looking at his feet.

"At least think about it, okay? Just think about it. I'm not leaving for another two days. I already have a job lined up with my cousin. I promise, we can do this, just think about it."

He looks at me hard in thought as if trying to read my face as to how serious I am. Finally, he nods. "I'll think about it." 

There's just one more thing I want to do.

___________

I'm sitting outside with Dally, under the bleachers of Ponys school. It's break, so no ones here. It's a little colder out than it's been before, but we're sharing a bottle and the liquor warms my body. I kiss him gently and feel him smile.

"Dally?" I ask him. "You still feeling okay?"

He was healing up well, getting stronger and more like himself every day. It wouldn't be long until he was fine, and he knew what to do on his own now, I didn't need to remind him to take his medicine anymore or to check on his bandage. It eased my mind to know he wouldn't be struggling too much with me gone.