Love Between You & Me

Goodbye or ....

Lost in their own world, far away from whereabouts of others....Arthit & Kongpob are sitting in the cafeteria of the headquarter. An eerie silence engulfing them. It has been an hour since Kongpob took a pity on Arthit and followed him to the upper floor of the headquarters which is apparently a cafe-snack room for the officers .

Kongpob is reeling from the shittone of information Arthit has given him ..about his past, Aaron , their relationship, Aaron's accident. He could not decide if hearing Arthit helped him somehow in getting rid of the ache in his heart. Listening to Arthit talking about Aaron was much more painful than he had imagined. His whole being was numb , it feels the same way Anurak has described to him ' getting stabbed again and again.'

" Kongpob!! say something please" Arthit begged bringing Kongpob out of him wallowing in self pity. He don't know what came over him earlier in the conference room. He couldn't believe that he got carried away and took advantage of Kongpob's vulnerability.

" w..what you want me to say P'Arthit?"

" anything?? Everything??....whatever you want to say kong. Scold me , hurt me , slap me... do anything which help you in getting rid of the pain i caused to you. Just don't be silent ... don't let shine of your eyes , your beautiful smile , spirit of life fade because of me. " Arthit said , his eyes filled with anguish .

"P'Arthit,... I don't know when it started, but I...I have feelings for you. So , being ignored by you was devastating enough for me but ...but seeing you getting kis...kissed by someone else..it just broke something in me. I felt like you have betrayed me..."
Arthit started to say something but stopped when Kongpob gestured him using his palm .

Kongpob continued ," I know it is childish of me to think that ..you have not promised me anything but that was just how i felt and we don't have a say on our emotions . Now, when I know the truth , i don't want to come between you two. Right now Aaron needs you more than me. You are the only constant in his life , ...so...It..it would be good for all of us if...if... we stay far away from each other for the time being . May be...in future we could face each other , talk to each other and don't feel any grief ...May be we could be friends..." Kongpob uttered miserably.

Arthit felt like the rug has been pulled under him . It took few moments for him to contemplate Kongpob's words.

"St..stay away???...what do you mean by it ??? I am not getting your point. Are you..you trying to say that we ...we should not meet??" Arthit said in low voice.

Kongpob felt his heart breaking all over again seeing the heart wrenching expression on Arthit's face. He want to comfort him but knew that he can't.

" Ko..Kongpob, you know you are the first and the only person for whom i felt something other than Aaron. When Aaron confessed to me, I was ecastic . I used to think that nothing can bring this much happiness to me but I was wrong. When you opened your eyes in the hospital, my happiness couldn't be measured by any parameter........Seeing your heartbeat faltering still haunts me at night. You means a lot to me Kongpob..... You have probably heard many stories of me being a playboy but the truth is that ,that night was the first time i felt an attraction or lust to anybody who is not Aaron. I am telling you all this just to make you understand that what I feel for you is much more than instant lust and is not a fluke which will disappear if we stay away from each other. Please give me a chance. I will make it work somehow. I will come clean to Aaron about us , just don't ask me to stay away from you ...please" Arthit begged in voice filled with anguish.

Kongpob bowed his head and remained silent , eyes brimming with unshed tears, his throat clogged With unsaid words. His vision getting blurry , his head felt like exploding. He clenched his fist , nails digging into his palm .....forgive me P'Arthit... but this is the right thing to do. I can't be a home wrecker. With steeled determination, he looked into Arthit's eyes and asked ," what about Aaron ?? Do you think any of this is his fault? Don't you care a little for the person who love you ? what if a year later you like someone else?? Would you dump me for that person like you are doing with Aaron?? How can i trust you with my heart when you himself aren't sure of your feelings???  I didn't know that you are such a selfish person!! You claim to have feelings for me ...then does it mean that you don't love Aaron anymore??? What if you fall out of love with me like Aaron?? I don't want to involve with a person whose feelings change constantly. Thus , it would be better to..to stop whatever we have from going anywhere . We can save ourselves from getting hurt ....I wish to be with someone who can give his heart wholly to me ...someone whose feelings are solely is for me. I don't want to compete for your affection ,P'Arthit. "