Letters From Another (Bughead)

Chapter Nine

A/n  Hello!  I'm sorry it has taken so long to update.  I have been having XXL writers block but I will try to post again soon. 

Betty POV

He looks the way I feel, lost with no idea of what's going to happen next. I want to drop everything and go be with him. I want to do that more than anything. To be able to erase every destructive event that had taken place. I wish I was able to change the past so we could focus on our future.

I slowly took one step forward clutching our bags tight. It feels like if I loosen my grip they will fly away. I took a deep breath as if I was going to say something, but nothing came out.

I want to say something along the lines of: "You deserve this." "This is on you." even a simple "Goodbye."

I can't... I can't hurt him like that. Even though he was the reason all of this started, I love him too much to say anything that hurtful to him in a time of pain and vulnerability.

Should I stay? Am I overreacting? Or am I just asking myself these questions because I am scared of a world without him?

The truth was something I had been trying to ignore.

Jughead POV

I have no idea what to do, everything is happening so fast. Is she really going to carry through with this? Even though she says she doesn't want to be with me anymore, she wouldn't leave me.

She has never been without me and I personally think she would be lost and afraid. I don't see this as the worst thing. It could mean that she won't leave me, or at least that she will have to come back.

I don't want to let my life with her go. I want to stay with her and Juliet for as long as I live.  I've made mistakes but I still love her and my daughter above all else.

We stared into each other's eyes. I noticed her gripping the bags so tight I was worried she would break the skin on her palms.

I have to think of something quick. Something I can say or do to make her stay here with me. There was no way our story would end tonight.

She stood frozen in front of me as if she had to say something, but nothing came out.

As she began to head for the door I stepped in front of it. This is not how it's going to end.

"Betty, please don't do this. Don't leave me, our lives together. I need you here with me and I know you need me too."

Her eyebrows tightened.  Her pain once presenting itself soft like the skin on her cheeks... turned dark.

"Jughead, our relationship was so special and strong because I believed I could trust you. We've spent our whole lives together and you always said you would be there for me. I put all my faith into you, but now it's gone. I've been blind to who you really are. You're someone who is able to do something like this. Someone who says I can trust them... and then betray me without a second thought."  Tears were forming in her eyes. "The things you have done to me and said about me have truly broken my heart. They're unforgivable. The one person who I always thought would be there for me, turned out to be the one who would cause me the most pain I've felt. This relationship has become something that just hurts both of the people in it. I have been holding you back from the entire world you were never able to experience because of me, and I have been fooled by someone I love again. We're no good for each other anymore, and you clearly don't need me."

I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Does she really think I'n that bad of a person? How could she think that I don't need her? I need her more than a fish needs water. Betty was my air, without her I would no longer be able to breathe.

No...  I couldn't, and wouldn't, give up that easy.

I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her waist, "Betty I need and love you more than anything on the planet. You are my everything and I could never live without you. Please, please, don't leave me. Don't take away the only two people on earth who I truly love and care about. I need you."  

She point upwards It looked like she was searching for the right answer on the ceiling.  As soon as she brought her eyes down to mine I could tell she would not be spending the night with me in this house.

Betty POV

I begin my walk to the door, but he got there first.

I know whatever he was about to say will make this moment 100 times harder than it already is.

"Betty, please don't do this. Don't leave me, our lives together. I need you here with me and I know you need me too."

He utilized one of my biggest fears, being without him. I can't give in, no matter what he says. He deserves an explanation. At least something that shows how hurt and betrayed I feel.

I'll give him what I've been hiding from the world. I feel so alone. 

All I knew at that point is what I said began with "Jughead..." and ended with, "...and you clearly don't need me."

I sensed relief in myself for the first time in a long time. This sensation didn't last long. He dropped to his knees and wrapped himself around me like a child seeking comfort after falling to the ground.

"Betty I need and love you more than anything on the planet. You are my everything and I could never live without you. Please, please, don't leave me. Don't take away the only two people on earth who I truly love and care about. I need you."

My eyes shot to the ceiling. I had to keep my tears at bay and eye contact would result in me getting stuck here forever.

Once I finally found the courage to meet his eye line again, I knew. I knew I couldn't spend any more of time here, it's time to go.

I turn my face to the door and make my way past him. My hand was stuck to the handle.

"Where are you going?" he asks, his knees still planted to the floor.

I took a deep breath, "I'm going to Veronica's. She's someone who will be there for me." I opened the door and walked into the dark and cold Riverdale night.

I know he's watching me walk to my car. It takes everything in me to not look back. You can get trapped in a place and not even realize it.

I texted Ronnie I was coming over.

As I start to back out of the driveway, everything begins to sink in. I'm leaving him and the only life I had ever known, but I was calm. It was like I had fallen into another person's body. It was as though all of the troubles I had encountered had happened to an outsider.  I had finally freed myself. 

A/n  Hope y'all enjoyed TEOTFW references.  I know it's very sad.  That is because I am very sad.  Expect some more Veronica POV soon. <3