Missy

Pain Hurts

I don't own One Piece. If I did I would have enough booze to get Zoro drunk.

---------------------------------------

"Oh I'm not so sure about that," you hummed, foot sweeping back into a familiar stance, "You don't know who you're up against. I guess it wouldn't really matter if you did. You're all gonna get owned, flashily."

Buggy glared at you, "HEY! THA-THAT'S MY CATCHPHRASE! I AM THE FLASHY ONE HERE!" Coughing gently into his palm, he swiftly gestured to the pirates below him, "Men-"

"Hang on a minute, Buggy. I think I'll handle this," Alvida sauntered forward, "If I want Luffy to be mine and mine alone, no pretty female crewmates allowed."

Luffy raised an eyebrow, "Uuuuh...What's that supposed to mean?"

Giggling, you twirled a dagger round a finger, "Daaw, I wanted a challenge..."

Alvida merely smiled, a sickly sweet thing that made you want to vomit, "I don't really know what you could do against me, girly, but you're welcome to try."

"Missy, her skin is reflecting light in a peculiar manner."

You gritted your teeth, "You have a devil fruit, don't you."

She giggled, "Why yes, I ate the smooth-smooth fruit." She posed provocatively, making her pirate companions as well as some members of the crowd catcall with glee, "It makes my skin gloriously smooth, so smooth that anything just slips off." Alvida placed a hand on her face, "And most importantly, it made me perfect! It got rid of my freckles!"

"...I think it did a little more than that."

'Plan?'

"Not yet, I require more information. Make her continue to talk."

"Now's not the time to zone out, little girl," Alvida purred, gripping her mace, "Someone could get hurt." She quickly swung her mace down. You calmly took a step to the side and it missed you completely.

"And who would that be?"

"That remains to be said," She swung her mace again and you moved out of the way in the same manner. Again.

"Well, for the record, all you're doing is a whole lot of missing." An arched horizontal stroke followed, which you ducked without trouble.

A vein bulged, "Just...keep...still..." she grunted in between swings.

"How about no."

"Ahem."

'Oh right, sorry.'

You cocked your head questioningly to the side, "Sooo, I've been wondering something. How can you hold that mace of yours? If your entire body is as delightfully smooth as you say it is, surely it should slip out of your grasp."

Alvida grinned as she smashed down with her mace once more, "The palms of my hands are different to the rest of my gorgeous body. They are still silky smooth, but not so much that I can't hold things."

'I think I have a plan.'

Mello thought it over, "Excellent, that was going to be my suggestion as we-" He froze, "Oh no."

"Ooooooh, that makes sense," you mused from the other side of the crater, "Plus you have that weird circular thing on the end of the mace I suppose."

"Missy..."

Giggling, you crouched down, "Devil fruits are so weird." In almost a blur, you cut through the straps of Alvida's sandals and snatched them up.

"Please just listen..."