The Unreal

Chapter 14- Claire

Cade's P.O.V

You know that feeling you get when you do something you know that you're not supposed to do, but you do it anyway. 

Is it guilt? 

Shame? 

Both? 

That's how I feel. Maybe even embarrassed. Conscience-stricken, guilt-ridden, remorseful. What's even worse about it, is that I can feel how Claire is feeling. Just a tiny bit, because I've neglected her as my mate, but, a tiny amount of her emotions is pressing on my heart. 

And I hate it.

I hate that I am filled with remorse for her, hate that I feel guilty for kissing another girl in front of her. I hate this stupid bond. 

And I hate that I hate it. 

It's confusing, really. I don't know what I want. My father says that not every female is like my mother, but how is he so sure. How does he know, that if I act on this bond, that Claire won't turn out to be like my mother. 

It sucks. Having no idea how the future will turn out. Having these abilities that makes me different from any other human. 

I feel another pang to my heart, and it hurts. It's not me feeling this way though, It's Claire. I don't know much about her but I do know that she is beating herself up about this. The entire incident, and maybe even because I made out with Emily in front of her. 

What does she think about that? Is she even thinking about it? 

Of course she isn't. I mean nothing to her. She's just a girl that waltzed right into my life a couple days ago. A girl that just turned out to be my mate.

I felt my wolf growl at that. He wants to be with her. But I don't. And that sucks. It really does. 

He wants her to love me. To love and to want him. To want us. But I made that a bit difficult at the beginning. I made everything wrong. From being rude in father's office, to allowing that kiss to turn steamy in front of her. 

But she is new to our kind. She doesn't understand what we are to each other. For all I know, she may only think what she is feeling is a stupid teenage crush. So does that mean that I still have a chance? My wolf may still have a chance? 

No. I don't want the chance with her. I can't allow myself to be fooled and manipulated like father was. I refuse to. I won't allow myself to be broken and torn apart the way he was. It was malicious and vicious. Being hurt isn't in my agenda. Not today and not ever. 

I was staring blankly at the ceiling by now. Not sure what to do with my self. The numbing pain I felt was something I couldn't ignore. I'm pretty sure my father had to have felt ten times worse when his mate acted upon her temptations. It must have been horrible for him. Seeing as I met Claire a few days ago and this pain was stabbing me. Not only piercing my heart, but soaking my brain in freezing water. A water that my fire couldn't bring to a boil, or an at least warm temperature.

I turned my head towards the door as I heard it open. Emily stepped in. I refused to let the tired sigh escape my mouth. I watched her as she swung her hips and modeled her way to edge of my bed. A smile on her pouted pink lips.  Her blonde hair was pulled up in a bun that looked like it was pulling her brain from its position beneath her skull. Her silver eyes seemed to be alight with some form of emotion I could never really put my finger on.

"I was trying to call you," Those were her first words. She clearly wasn't happy that I didn't answer the phone. Not that I heard it ringing and purposely ignored her. I lifted my hand and reached under my pillow to fish out the iPhone. Indeed, there was ten missed calls from her.