Claire's P.O.V
The rose was glowing. It very light blue. A shiny blue. A hypnotizing blue.
With my hands outstretched and my palms facing the ceiling, Rose was still at my hip, but now she was spinning. It didn't take me long after that to start my attempt at the spell that seated itself on one of the many pages of the book.
I peeped at the book once more to make sure that I was going to get the words right, not wanting another catastrophe to take place. Air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath, preparing for what could happen.
I closed my eyes and began the chant.
"My enemy stands in front, it is him I must hunt," The beginning of the spell left my lips and I knew there was no going back now. Another sharp intake of breath, and I recited the last few words.
"Protect me from my enemy, before it is me he confronts," It was then that I opened my eyes and awaited what would happen. Nothing. Not a slight change in the atmosphere. Nothing. Even Rose stopped spinning by my hip.
A tired sigh escaped my lips. I knew this world wasn't meant for me to live in it. I prefer to go back to being a normal high school student with no powers and being ignored by every single person who walks the corridors. That is what I prefer. However, I can't just runaway. I'd have no where to stay and with no money I can't exactly rent a motel. I wouldn't even be with who I believed to be my parents for the past seventeen years of my life, because they are ones that sent me away. I dropped my hand from floating in thin air and dropped back on the bed to stare up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and allowed another puff of air to pass through my lips.
The spell was a defensive one, so I don't quite understand why it would be tough one. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I did something wrong. I knew for sure that words were correct, but nothing happened. Rose was still floating there, as if I didn't attempt to use her.
I wish she could talk. That way she would be able to tell me what to do and how to use my so called powers. If only there was someone that could guide me on how to use my powers. On how to protect myself. At this point, there was nothing that I wanted more than that. Nothing more than to be able to use my powers and be able to live normally again.
A normal life? Could I even have one those again? Did I ever had one? I don't know. Is this supposed to be my new normal? I know the answer to that. It hurts, but that's the truth. I don't want to be here. I was not even here fo a week and yet I had managed to cause trouble. I froze the entire school! That's insane! People could have died. They should have retaliated and killed me instead. No one needs this sort of trouble in their lives.
Imagine that! I froze an entire fucking school and manage to get a spell done. Pfftt...Listen to my pulse. Ha! What a joke. I'm so useless. No wonder mom and dad got rid of me. Both pairs apparently. Biological and adoptive. None of them wanted me. I would not want me either.
I brought my knees to my chest and curled up like a baby in the womb. My fingers dug into my knees. My eyes squeezed shut and I bit my lip, my best attempt to stop myself from crying loudly. I don't want to do that anymore. I was barely here and I did so much of that.
It hurts.
It hurts so badly.
Please make it stop.
Please stop!
I don't want this anymore.
Please.
Please.
Please...
What can I do to make it stop?
I'd do anything. Anything at all in this world to stop myself from feeling this way. Anything at all that would help me feel better. I almost killed people. I don't want to do that. But the only way is to get these stupid powers under control! But how!? I can't even make a sheild!
Was this really my best attempt? Was this all I am good for? Just causing trouble? I don't want to. But the only way I can avoid this is getting this stupid ice to do what I say!
My body shook vigorously. As if I was being affected by the cold. Like I was lying in an avalanche for years. My tears rolling down to the left of my face, pooling on the sheets. My hiccups were bouncing off the walls of the rooms and my nails dig at my skin trying to stop me from shaking and crying.
It was useless. I couldn't help it. I could not stop myself from crying and I could not stop myself from feeling like shit. It was so stupid. Here I was feeling all confident when Cade tried to stop me, but I am nothing. I'm useless. Useless to everyone around. Even to myself. I should just stop trying.
It's been what? Three days since I came here? I had the worst birthday, the worst everything all three days after that and I will have the worst life with the rest of the days that are about to follow.
I had managed to calm down in what felt like hours later. My hiccups were gone and so was the shaking. Mid-cry, I had decided that I should not use my powers. I should not try to use them. It would be stupid of me to try to. And with that decision, Rose was gone. Not really though, because for some reason she was on my hand. The bottom of her stem stood on the back of wrist and her body stood proudly a little ways above. She had become a tattoo. Cool right? Nope.
She was still blue, but she was now my very first tattoo. On the back of my wrist.
It is what it is...I guess.
~~~~~~
A/N
It has been forever. But here is a new chapter.
As always please,
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