Sting » Louis

three

Puking in the middle of a wedding reception didn't seem proper. I ran as quickly as I could towards the tent where the others were, careful not to trip over something. My mouth and lips had his taste, and even though I hated it, I refused to shallow it down.  A little part of me wanted it there. It was the only way to remind me the moments of passion and love we two had shared. I finally reached the tent, not looking back. If he had some dignity and respect towards me, he could at least not follow me. Luckily, he didn't. 

I couldn't dare to enter. I could practically picture myself. Cheeks flushed red, lips swollen and tangled up hair from the kiss. I took a sharp breath and decided to get inside. I simply couldn't stay out there, with him. I knew he was still there watching me, like he always did. I had to get away.

Chinking of glasses, along with laughs and words were floating in the air inside. The couple had stopped dancing and some others along with some little kids were moving to the beat of a dance song. I carefully took my seat next to my fiancee, giving him a small fake smile in the process. Immediately, his hand was placed on my thigh, stroking it gently. I couldn't look at him. My gaze was fixed on some random couple doing some silly dance moves. My palms were sweaty and my breathing came out forced. Guilty. That's how I felt. And I knew that that feeling wouldn't subside. That was only the beginning with him.

"Are you okay, love?" Max asked, his voice full of worry. I swear my heart hurt for a moment.

"I'm fine." I breathed and slowly turned my eyes to meet his, for the first time since I came back.

"You're sure? If you're not feeling well, we could go back home. Katy and Will will understand."

"No, there's no need to. I just felt a little dizzy, I went out to get some air and now I'm perfectly well." I continued lying.

His lips formed into a smile. I saw in the corner of my eye his face moving towards mine as if to kiss me. Before he could find my lips , I quickly turned my head so that his lips found my cheek. I faked-smiled and continued watching everyone around me and occasionally had some small talks till the end of the reception.

                                                                     ***

The drive home was silent. I squeezed myself in the car's door and stared outside, at the buildings passing by. Max didn't talk to me, and I was thankful to him for that. I was too shaken to have a conversation with him. I justified myself later on saying that I was tired. Something that wasn't a complete lie. I just wanted to go back home without any bickering.

The moment I stepped into the apartment, I threw my shoes off somewhere and ran to the bedroom to take off my dress. Max and I shared an apartment. We engaged a few months ago, so living with him seemed the most right thing to do. Despite that, he had never touched me, or forced me into anything. I did not want him to. Not him, not anybody else. It had been four years since anyone had touched me that way. And I didn't want that person to touch me ever again.

I quickly took off the hair clip that was holding my hair in place, setting my curls free. Running a hand through them, I then desperately tried to unzip the dress. After a couple of minutes I managed to undress myself and ran to the bathroom to have a quick shower.

I was trying to occupy myself. I knew that if I sat down and thought I surely would be thinking about Louis. What did he want from me? Was he playing with me? Many thoughts crossed my mind as the warm water was burning my skin and the sweet vanilla aroma of my shampoo was soaring in the air. I put on my robe and let my hair free. I simply didn't have the power to wash it that moment. I was physically and psychologically drained.