Sting » Louis

epilogue

In moments like these you realize that you have to make a stand. For yourself.  For people who love you. You have to stand on your own two feet and face the situations that occur in your life. I wasn't a child anymore. I wasn't in the protective cell my parents had raised me in. I had to take my life in my own hands, to make my own decisions. It's hard to realize that life isn't a game. That choices you make may affect your entire life. 

I wasn't ready for this. I didn't want this. I had a burden on my shoulders no one could help me with. A pain in my heart so ubearable, a difficulty in my breathing. As if  an invisible hand had been pressing hard on my chest. As I went down the few stairs of my childhood house, I balanced my self on the railing and stumbled down. Heavy rain was hitting the road in front of me. I could hear thunders from a distance. I stood and watched it fall, saw people running quicky to protect themselves from the heavy rain, the strong wind moved the trees of the nearby park violently.

I stood there, watching this beautiful chaos around me and took small, slow steps into the rain, as I tried to reach my car, parked at the other side of the road. I was starting to get soaked to the bone, I could feel my clothes stick to my body, my styled hair getting dump. When I reached my car, I went inside and took a moment to think my next moves. My mother was right. I always thought she was wrong, that she tried to manipulate me, but in the end she wanted to see her daughter happy. Maybe sometimes, our parents are indeed right for certain things.

I started driving around the streets of London without any real purpose. I was shivering from cold, but I couldn't really feel it.  Before I could comprehend it, I started driving towards Leeds, to my father and grandmother. Maybe they had the answers I was looking for. And as it turmed out, they had...

I stayed in Leeds for quite a long time. Having long conversations with my grandmother Mary and bonding with my father. I think they helped my open the eyes of my heart. To use reason over feelings sometimes.  It may seem way too pessimistic, but life does not need sentimentalities. At some cases you have to think of your own good. To protect yourself.  To think what would be the best for you. And I did. I decided what I had to do.

I hadn't heard from either Max or Louis for all that period. But of course I had to get out of my hiding spot when I learnt Max had been hit by a car. A car Louis drove. Until that moment I never realized how dangerous he could be. How sick he was. How many wounds he carried that made him who he was. The moment I saw Max in the state he was in, something broke inside me. Something changed my mindset. I left him, because he lied to me and hurt me, like Louis. I explained everything, and he understood.

I left England for a couple of months and went to a small town in Italy where lived peacefully, while trying to find myself. Louis tried to contact me many times, but I didn't want to be influenced by him. I needed a clear mind. I started gaining confidence in my own self and abilities and took charge of responsibilities. And then when I felt ready, I returned back home. I knew who I wanted to be with. With whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I learnt where he worked because he had quit his job. I went to find him in the opera house he worked as a photographer. I never expected anything else from him, since he had told me he loved the opera.

 I could never explain the happiness in his eyes when he saw me, the relief that I responded to his feelings. That I chose him, because I trully loved him. It wasn't that passion or infatuation that is shown in books or romances. It was pure, deep love. Respect. I felt peaceful in his arms, safe. I felt relieved. For once in my life I made a choice for which I felt like no one was forcing me anything. I was Max's and he was mine.

We got married soon after that and I got pregnant to our first son. We had our little cottage on the countryside of Scotland. That's where Max's mum was from and she decided to give us her house. It wasn't long after I had given birth to my second child, my daughter Lizzie, that I read on the papers that mrs. Deakins got terribly sick and died. And then, after a couple of few months I learnt Louis that inherited all of her fortune. But he led the company to bankruptcy and soon after he put a pistol in his mouth.

In this life I had learnt that nothing comes as you expect. That nothing is easy. But all you have to do is try. I found my inner peace and happiness and lived a life any woman would dream of with Max. But until the day I close my eyes, I will never, ever forget the man that I fell in love with, Louis. And maybe, one day, we shall meet again...

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My lovelies, I wanted to thank you for keeping up with me all these years! I wanted to thank you for all the love and support you have showed! I means so much to me! As you may all know it's been like 7 years since I started this story. But I didn't manage to update or finish it until now, because a lot of things happened in my life. High school, university, now my master and my job. As the years went by it was getting harder for me to find some time to update so I found it better to give you now the end of the story that I had planned years back, than to make you wait for another 7 years in order for me to finish it. I'm a perfectionist and I would have loved to give you all that I've written above much more detailed in chapters, but as I said, because I know myself it would take me really long... 

As for the ending I know you will all be so angry with me, but I wanted a realistic one. All these years I feel like I've grown up with you and matured. So, I learnt that life has its ups and downs. And that's what I wanted to show in my book. That the character matured and has found happiness and not this incredible love that movies show, because most of the times this isn't the case in real life.

I love you all, and I want to share with you that I'm quite emotional that this journey has ended. Maybe in the future, if I have the will and time I will add some chapters...

Take care you all! And thank you again for this incredible journey!! If anyone had told be years back I would have so many readers so much support I would never have believed it! I will never forget you all!!

Emily,

xx