Soft Side

Chapter sixteen

Molly stared at me blankly, her eyes simply blinking. Then she looked at Niall walking past humming in just his boxers. Then she looked back at me, the same blank expression on her face, her eyes looking at mine now as she goes to speak, totally unsure of what to say. Her words finally fell out of her mouth; "I've only been away two and a half weeks" she states, confusion still sat in her voice as she looks down and rubs her head.

"And what are your thoughts about this?" She says into her hands, missing my shrug as I reach for my coffee and take a swig. I couldn't tell if she was embarrassed of me or just genuinely confused. She knew it was rocky with me and Harry, but she didn't realise quite how rocky it was.

"To be totally honest, I don't really give a fuck anymore. Nobody else knows besides me, Niall, Harry and that girl. Well, you know now also. None of the other boys know about me and this one," I continue, gesturing to Niall as he smirks walking past, "they just know that me and Harry have split and even then they don't know why. I'm just cracking on now and making myself happy" I shrug, folding my legs underneath me on the chair.

"But what about Harry?" Molly questions, her eyes staring into mine as she tries to find some sort of emotion in them. Something to indicate why I had changed so much in the last few weeks alongside the rocky split from someone I had been head over heels for.

"Like I said, I don't care anymore" I state bluntly, sipping my coffee again before flicking on the television. "Why are you even here?" I say to her without looking, staring at the television that showed Harry before throwing the remote at the wall after turning it off.

"Calum's just so busy recording, so I thought I'd come and see you for a few days, I did speak to Liam and Paul about all of this" she nods, her eyes on her phone as she sends a text to Calum. Fuck that. Fuck relationships now. They only ever lead to heartbreak.

I hadn't heard from Harry since the blow out last night. In some respects that was probably for the best, for now at least.

~~~~~~~

Tonight was the last show in Italy before we headed off to Spain. I sat on a box at the side of the stage. I wasn't watching anyone in particular, it had just become a habit to be able to of been able to see him back then. Now I was looking at the crowd. Some people were confused why suddenly Harry and Niall were so forced with each other.

Why Niall would now genuinely smile at Harry and he would fake a smile back before moving away from him. They were never seen together anymore and people were catching onto that. Tweets were forming on twitter asking who the girl Harry had been with was, but also why I was still there on tour if we had split up.

Things just didn't make sense to the fans.

Niall caught my eye during Rock Me, smirking to me as he sang, wiggling his hips as I smile gently. He was a total nutter but no matter what, it still boiled down to him being my best friend, just with a few extras for the time being.

I moved my feet to the canteen, grabbing a beer out of the fridge and sighing as I scroll through Twitter. Nobody had suspicions of anything yet, they were more curious and confused. Something wasn't feeling right with them about things.

I heard the door opening and saw the familiar lanky body step into the room. Fuck he looked go- no soph. He's a dick.

I stood up, discarding the empty bottle in the bin and grabbing my handbag. Liam had appeared behind him to grab some food before we left, neither of us seeing him followed by the other boys.

"Soph let me explain, I'm sorr-" he starts as I laugh, shaking my hands.

"No chance. No fucking chance. When you come in and blow up like you did last night there's no chance. You're trying to be friendly now after that? Go and find somebody that's willing to take your shit. I'm cutting you off. We're done. Well and truly done. You say your sorry but it's too late, I don't care about you now. I don't give a fuck" I snap, "I don't need your love. I know what your little games are. How you manipulate girls to get them to fall in love with you and then you just drop them, like nothing happened and that there were no feeling. Well you're not going to have your way with this one" I state, pushing past him and storming out of the room.

Niall followed, coming to make sure I was okay as I hear the boys shouting after him that we were going soon. They knew how close we were l, how much of my best friend he was.

I simply grab his hand, no emotion on my face as I push him into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. My lips finding his in a heated kiss, our body's tangling against the door as my hand reaches down, unzipping his trousers and wasting no time in pleasuring him.

I wasn't in the right frame of mind but boy did anger sex sound great. That's all I knew.

~~~~~~~

I sat with Molly on the bus, watching a film with a bottle of wine. We were having a girls night in to catch up on everything and so she could try and get me back to normal. All makeup had been removed as I sat with my knees to my chest, sipping my second glass of wine.

The shock on her face as I told her about Niall showed me just how confused she was by the whole situation. When I told her about how I hadn't felt anything the last few days her face fell, not realising how bad everything was while she was away.

I threw my phone at the wall seeing Harry text. I didn't want to talk to him. Rage boiling through me at the thought of his idiotic face. His face popping into my mind, causing me to finish the drink in my hand, instantly pouring another.

"What's done this soph, this isn't you" she says gently. "I mean I get it's him but there's got to be something more to it... you've never been this way before. There's no emotion in you anymore"

I shrug, I didn't know myself. I had no idea what was good and what wasn't anymore. I had no feelings anymore. I hadn't cried in about a week and a half, I had genuinely smiled properly in about two and a half weeks. I hadn't felt anything.

"I had said to be careful with him" she says softly, looking at my cautiously, unsure of what my reaction was going to be, "but Niall's hotter so it's a win I guess?" She jokes. I simply nod.

"He's never going to find someone else like you. You're the best thing he has ever had, he loves you" she nudges. I shake my head, standing up and looking at her.

"Loved. If he still loves me then he wouldn't be doing this. He wouldn't have come in here all guns blazing would he?" I snap, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I was finally feeling something. I was feeling hurt.

~~~~~~~

I sat curled in a ball on the armchair. I hadn't said a word to Molly in half an hour, not out of rudeness but I just wasn't in the mood to talk and wanted to just be quiet and shut everyone out for a while. This had truly messed with me. He didn't realise how much he had hurt me.

The door opened and my eyes stayed shut, tears still slipping down my cheeks as Molly sighs seeing Niall. "I just came to check on her" I hear him say softly. Molly mumbling something before leaving the bus. I stayed looking down as Niall said nothing, sitting down in the small gap beside me and pulling my weary body into his arms, his lips pressing to my head.

Without saying a word still, he slowly stood up, taking my hand and walking me to the bunks, crawling in and opening his arms. He sighed softly as I stayed silent, motionless in his arms. My eyes lifted to him, showing a pain behind them. I just wanted to be loved.

His lips gently pressed to mine as he sighs, wiping a falling tear from my cheek. Crying was all I had done for the last forty five minutes, but not a sob. A silent cry. Tears simply spilling from my cheeks.

Nothing was going to fix this anytime soon.