Soft Side

Chapter fourty-two

Dear diary,

Today marks the thirty-first week of pregnancy. This means the baby is currently the size of a coconut.

Today also marks the day things went wrong.

I sit on the sofa, sighing softly as I feel some pain in my stomach as I choose to ignore it. It was nothing too bad. I grabbed a magazine from the coffee table, Becky doing the same as we sit reading happily. I smile gently, seeing Harry's face on the magazine page, touching it gently as my heart flutters. This felt so surreal. To be sat here with Harry's baby I'm my stomach.

I groan softly, sighing as I rub my bump, climbing off of the sofa and wincing in a small amount of pain from the movement. "Come on baby, lets go and get clean" I say softly to the bump on my stomach, Becky smiling at the comment. I shuffle to the wardrobe in my bedroom, grabbing out my towel and smiling at the hospital bag in the wardrobe. The boys had made it up when they all came back a couple of days ago, ready for when the time was right. I touch it gently before touching my bump softly, a smile on my face but pain still evident in my features.

I hold onto my stomach, walking slowly into the bathroom as the pain began to feel slightly worse. "Becks" I call, needing some assurance that it was only braxton hicks. The fake contractions. I groan, sliding off my night shirt and hanging it on the back of the door. That's when I felt the twist in my stomach, a scream leaving my lips. "Becky" I scream out, hearing the sound of banging feet running down the hallway. "I'm naked to avert your eyes" I shout, looking down at my feet.

"I've seen you and Harry at it more times than I can count" she calls down the corridor, opening the door as tears filled her eyes. "I'll call the hospital" she whispers, trying to keep a brave and strong face so I didn't panic.

How could I not panic, when all I could see below me was blood trickling down my leg.

~~~~~~~

"Okay, we'll see you soon" Becky says softly into the phone, holding my hand in the back of the ambulance. My eyes wouldn't stop letting tears fall, my cheeks wet from the amount of tears I had shed. "Harry's at the airport getting the next flight home" She whispers, squeezing my hand gently as I nod. I took another deep breath of the oxygen coming from the mask on my face, crying out in pain as Becky's face fell sadder.

"Is she going to be okay?" I whisper to the paramedic who was tending to me, her smile sad as she nods. My heart rate began to slow, the paramedic shouting through to the driver as the sirens turn on. I had begun to loose consciousness. My eyes drooped as Becky began to panic, tearing up. I came back around, my face pale. "Is my baby okay?" I whimper to the paramedic, feeling totally not myself.

"She should be, but she's going to be coming today" she says softly as my eyes tear up again. She was early. The sirens kept going as Becky called Anne to let her know what was happening, the ambulance flying into the hospital and the bed being pulled out from the back of the vehicle. I whimper as I get taken to the maternity ward.

"I want Harry" I sob to Becky who was now rubbing my head gently, being examined by a doctor. The bleeding hadn't stopped and I was beginning to lose a lot of blood. Poor Becky would be traumatised, but I couldn't thank her enough for this. "Where is he" I whimper, holding onto my stomach.

"He's on his way" she whispers, stroking my head and placing a gentle kiss to the top of it. "He's coming don't worry, he wouldn't miss helping you for the world" she says softly as I whimper again, the pain coursing through me. The pain caused my eyes to close again, the machine beeping beside me as nurses began to rush into the room. Becky stayed put, never leaving my side as I lost consciousness again. The amount of blood I was losing was not good, the doctors worried about my health and the baby's health.

I came round again, looking around the room panicked at how many people were now in with me. "Harry" I whimper, locking eyes with Becky. She nods, trying her best to calm me. This girl was my rock, the person I needed the most when Harry wasn't around.

~~~~~~~

I lay asleep, having been kept in the hospital overnight to keep an eye on myself and the baby. I was completely drained now, and just wanted to sleep and to see Harry. Becky waited outside the front of the hospital, since Harry had text to say he was on his way. Louis had text to say he had come with Harry as he was in a bad way and was incredibly panicked about what he was going to be arriving to. His eyes locked with Becky as she teared up, hugging the dad-to-be tightly, allowing the tears to fall from her eyes.

"I don't know if I can go in there" Harry whispers once they were inside the building, his hand running through his hair as Louis touches his shoulder. "What actually happened? I need to know" He breathes, looking with pleading eyes to Becky who looked sad. He wanted to be told it was all okay and nothing bad was going to happen. He wanted to be told he could take his girlfriend home and take care of her at home while they waited for their baby to make an appearance in a couple of weeks time.

"She went to have a shower and began losing a lot of blood" she breathes, watching as Harry's eyes began to tear up. "We called the ambulance, they came almost instantly but she lost consciousness during the journey, then again while we were here" she says softly as Harry nods looking down, "they've said that she needs to stay here for a few days to make sure she's okay as soph's body has taken a lot on today and has lost a lot of blood," she says as Harry simply nods again, looking up as Becky speaks once more to finish her sentence, "They also said that the baby is going to be here in the next day or two, so she's going to be premature" she says gently, Harry's eyes tearing up as he walks up to the room.

His hand shook as he walked towards the door, lifting his hand to turn the knob. His eyes landed on his girlfriend, led on the bed looking frail and worn out. I winced at the contractions, my eyes closed as I whimper for Harry, having no idea he was stood in the doorway. That's when the adrenaline kicked into him, his feet shifting to sit beside my body touching my cheek as my eyes open. Tears fill my eyes as I open my arms, his body sitting on the bed beside me as I curl into him feeling nothing but fear fall through my body. "It's going to be okay" he breathes, "I'm here now" he whispers softly.

~~~~~~~

"Harry it hurts" I whimper, gripping his hand tightly as he strokes my head, kissing it now and then. "I feel funny" I whimper as he looks at the nurse. She nodded, staying where she was in order to help me deliver my baby, nine weeks early. "I can't do it" I cry, my hand tightening against his as he hushes softly, whispering every ounce of encouragement he had in him. I whine, pushing down as the nurse had stated. There were quite a few people in with us, because of what had happened before. "I feel like I'm going to pass out" I say quietly, Harry panicking as the nurse tells him to press the nurses button behind him.

He panics, stepping back slightly as more nurses flood in, surrounding me as the machine begins beeping beside me. "What's going on? Is she okay? How's my baby?" He says quietly as a nurse touches his arm gently.

"Everythings okay, it's just where she's been losing so much blood it causing her to black out. The baby's heart beat is slower than it should be but she'll be kept in for a few weeks to keep an eye on her Mr Styles" she says softly as he nods, seeing them walk away from me as I look for him panicked, my eyes filled with tears and fear as he holds my hand tightly, stroking my hair as I begin to push again.

"Here she comes" the midwife calls up to me as I whimper, my hands tight in his as he whispers more encouragements into my ear, my body pushing into my bum as directed by the midwife. Within moments everybody was rushing, the second midwife taking my baby away to the other side of the room.

"My baby" I call as they bring in the pediatrician who ran straight over with their stethoscope in their hand, plugging it into their ears. I whimper, trying to sit up as the nurse comes over to me, trying to calm me by explaining that it wasn't going to help my heart rate. "I just want my baby" I whisper as she nods, heading to the nurses around our baby. That's when they came over with a small white blanket.

Our princess, born at 19:37.

Weighing only 3 and a half pounds.

Ariella Styles.