Soft Side

Chapter thirty-nine

Dear Diary,

Today marks the twentieth week of pregnancy. This means the baby is currently the size of a banana.

"So, this is going to work with us taking this envelope to a shop and letting them fill it with the right colour" I laugh softly as we climb into Harry's car. We had been to the hospital to find out the gender of our baby today, but it was a surprise. We were having a party later today with all of Harry's family, the boys, their families and some of our close friends to reveal whether we were having a boy or a girl.

"But then they find out before us" Harry whines, turning the engine on and pulling out of the car park. I laugh softly, squeezing his knee as his hand moves to rub my thigh gently. "I don't like the idea of them knowing before us" He pouts, jutting out his bottom lip as I smile gently.

"It's okay, it will all be worth it when we find out later and have a big party" I smile softly, holding Harry's hand gently as he drove. I couldn't wait for this party, to be able to see so many people I hadn't seen in a long time and celebrate a magical day with them. "We can decorate the house, eat cake and find out if you're going to be a dad to a little girl or a little boy in a few months time" I say softly as he smiles, placing his hand on my stomach.

"You always manage to make me feel better Soph" he says softly, turning the car towards the shop with a wide smile, turning the car off and jumping out. He jogged around to my side, opening the door and helping me out of the car as I smiled, placing a hand on my larger bump. I smile at him, taking his hand and waddling beside him with my hand on my lower back. A wide smile on his face as he opens the door for me, walking in behind me.

Here goes nothing.

~~~~~~~

"Harry I can put a tablecloth on a table at least" I sigh as he shakes his head, guiding me into the living room and sitting me on the sofa. "I'm not totally incapable yet" I laugh softly, smiling at him as he grins at me.

"Nope, you stay here and rest up" He says softly as I smile at him. "I'm going outside to help mum with the actually delivery of it, I want to come back and find you still in this spot" He grins, pointing to me sat on the sofa. I nod, rolling my eyes as he pecks my forehead, skipping happily outside as I laugh gently. The whole thing was occuring at Harry's mums house, because the space was better for the amount of people coming. We had requested that nobody posted anything on social media so it was private for us which everyone coming had agreed to.

I smirk seeing him busy outside, wondering out to the kitchen to find Gemma chopping vegetables into sticks as I grin to her. "Please let me help you, Harry's driving me mad with not letting me help him" I huff, rubbing my stomach as I feel the baby kick inside of me. Gemma nods laughing, handing me some bread to butter to help her make the sandwiches. I smile, thanking her for letting me help out. The door bell rang, making me waddle to the door and open it with a wide grin. "Hey!" I smile, welcoming Niall and his mum into the house with a smile, hugging them both happily before seeing Louis and his family run up the driveway so they didn't get shut outside. I smile, realising everybody was now here and everything was ready.

"Hey there" I pant, sitting beside Becky with a smile, breathing out as she smiles at me. "I can't believe today is the day I find out what's in here" I say softly, grinning down at the bump on my stomach. I was halfway through this pregnancy, and every day meant another day closer to seeing our baby which made us feel incredibly excited.

"How are you doing?" She smiles, sipping champagne in her hand as I pout, looking at the lemonade in mine. "Not long Soph then you can have a drink" She laughs as I nod.

"I'm okay, just tired" I sigh, running a hand through my hair as she nods in agreement. Harry walked over, holding his hand out as I realise it was time to reveal what we were having. I grin walking with Harry to the grass of the garden, my floral maternity dress floating in the breeze at I grin at the man before me. The man who was going to be the most amazing dad, the man who since I met him had displayed a soft and gentle side, and the man before me who was holding a large black balloon holding the coloured confetti of what baby we were having.

I breath out, holding a pin in my hand as I look at Harry, nodding as everybody began to count down from three. I take a deep breath popping the balloon as my eyes filled with tears, instantly being engulfed into the biggest hug from Harry. A sob leaving my lips as a teary Becky ran at me, hugging me tightly. This followed hugs from everybody who shed lots of tears also. It was an emotional day but for the best reason. Today we found out what baby we were having.

Myself and Harry were going to be the parents of a little princess.

~~~~~~~

I groan, standing up from the bed I was laying in inside of Harry's childhood bedroom. I slide on my tracksuit bottoms that sat below my bump, sighing as I walk down to the kitchen, careful not to wake anybody since it was 2 o'clock in the morning. I sigh gently, jumping slightly when I see a figure sat on the sofa watching a film on the television.

It was Anne.

"Can't sleep?" She says softly, not even looking over her shoulder as I nodded, remembering she can't hear me.

"Yeah, I can't get comfortable and I have so much going through my mind" I say softly as she nods. I sit on the arm chair, looking at the television as she pats the spot beside her.

"Come sit here, let's have a girly chat without those silly boys" She smiles warmly as I smile, sitting down slowly beside her with my hand on the bump. "I am really proud of you both" she says softly as I smile down at my stomach homing her first grandchild. "I know it was sudden but I'm so proud of how grown up you have both been, and I couldn't think of a better woman to be having my son's baby" she says softly as I smile even wider before my smile drops.

"I'm scared" I confess as she nods, pulling me in for a hug as I sigh, feeling tears prick in my eyes.

"What of?" She asks softly, rubbing my arm gently as I wipe my eyes, hoping she didn't see.

"The pain of the birth, things going wrong, what if I don't bond with them? What if I'm an awful mum?" I sigh, feeling tears still filling my eyes as I sigh, looking down at the bump. Why did I feel no excitement tonight but simply fear surrounding the thought of a new arrival.

"That's normal" she says softly with a smile. "You're going to be an amazing mum. I remember when I was pregnant with Harry, I felt exactly the same" she says softly, playing with my hair gently. "I had the weirdest cravings, at one point I wanted fish fingers dipped in jam, don't ask me why" she laughs as I smile softly. "I was as scared as you are. It's completely normal. I'm more concerned about Harry, I'm really hoping he doesn't pass out on you" she laughs as I smile.

"I hope so" I breath out, running my fingers over the bump with a smile. "I'm sorry for getting emotional, I'm just so tired and I can't get comfortable or sleep" I say softly as she smiles, turning off the television.

"You make yourself as comfortable as you can my darling, your best idea is to go and give Harry a huge cuddle. He's always such a softie" She smiles as I nod, standing up with a smile as I thank her again for everything she had done this evening. Even though it was simply words, it calmed me a huge amount.

Having a baby was terrifying and I was worried about every moment of it, but at the same time I was so excited about how soon our new arrival would be here.