A Sweet Chase (gxg)

Forty- Four

Five months later

Therese sat bouncing her legs up and down as a way to reflect her anxiety within the moment. Her daughter was sitting across from her, eyes everywhere but on her and she knew why. They were both scared and the tension made everything awkward and weird.

It had been the first time since she'd been locked away that she was actually getting to see Waverly but the tension from when they last interacted still lingered near. For once she felt a pang of guilt settling in the pit of her stomach for how she'd treated the girl then and maybe in general but she wasn't brave enough to admit it much less say she was sorry.

Waverly must have at least forgiven her though, because why else would she be there sitting across from her if she was no longer upset?

Sighing, Therese cleared her throat drawing the girl's eyes to her.
For a moment she attempted to say something but no words came out.
She felt defeated suddenly and ashamed that she had nothing to say to her own daughter. Nothing at all.

"It's nice seeing you after a while," She heard the girl say and a feeling of hope started easing its way slowly into her, pushing aside the doubt and the fear.

"It's quite the same. I'm uh pretty happy that you actually came." Therese smiled and for once it wasn't forced and dry but filled with something promising.

"Yeah, I really wanted to see you but I just didn't know," Waverly trailed off and her mother frowned.

"What?"

"I just didn't know if you would've wanted to see me. I was afraid you would've refused."

"Never," 

There was silence for a bit so Therese closed her eyes and thought hard.
She wanted to find the right words to say to her daughter that could convey all the things she felt and should've been able to say a long, long time ago.
Instead of thinking too hard, she just allowed the words to come out of their own.

"I- um. I'm sorry that I make you feel that way as if I don't care. It's just that I don't know how to express myself like that. Please don't think that being in here I wouldn't want to see you, I do. I'm sorry that I never did well for you when clearly I could've and I know I'm a fucked-up person in your eyes and that's okay, but please don't ever think that I don't care about you."

"I don't know Therese, growing up around you often made me feel like you didn't," Waverly answered, staring down at her fingers as she picked at her nails. "You weren't there much and you left me with Mary. I always wondered how you felt about that, ya know?"

"Awful, I felt just awful but like I said I had no way of changing that, I didn't know how too."

"Yeah well it's in the past now, there's nothing anyone could do about that."

"I'm sorry," Therese whispered, turning her face away so her daughter wouldn't be able to see how glossy her eyes were. She knew she had fucked up, always have because the broken child inside of her had never been able to heal, it's why the adult in her as well couldn't have been able to live a decent life. She had no way of living the life someone like her should've because she couldn't.

All her childhood traumas and insecurities she projected unto her own and at times she knew she was aware of what she was doing but somehow she just couldn't stop herself.

Looking back at the girl's life, Therese knew she wasted those precious eighteen years and she knew she'd never get them back.
At first, she didn't care about that because she was so focused on herself but now she knew how much it must hurt Waverly at her behaviour. It's a pain she's way too familiar with.