Don't Let Go (Third Book to the Other Side)

Chapter Nine (The Lost Warrior)

I shifted, turning to face Eliza. She was smiling peacefully, staring up at the blank ceiling. I don't know what solace she took in looking at nothing, but she just seemed so relaxed. I wanted to learn how she did it more than anything else in the world right now.

She paused, looking over at me. "You alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," I returned, trying my best to keep my voice as even as possible and still failing miserably. "I—I don't know. Don't worry about it."

"Of course I worry about it," she returned, sitting up and drawing her knees close to her chest. She moved a hand close to mine, almost as if she was waiting for me to make the final move. Biting back a stupid smile, I entwined my hand with hers. "Is it the same nightmare?"

"No, it was different this time. I guess...Thomas...was there." It was so different to finally hear his name after such a drought. I had to force the word from my mouth, prying open my lips against their will. But the instant I said his name, a small twinge of relief spiraled through my heart. As though he was watching me, protecting me. Like he hadn't given up on me.

Bullshit. Thomas isn't here, and he's never going to be.

Eliza noticed that I said his name and smiled too, but it was short-lived. "Wanna talk about it?"

The truth was that I really didn't. I didn't find the same safety with her as I did...others. But it wouldn't do any good keeping these things bottled up inside anymore. "I guess I can a little. I'm sorry," I swallowed. "It's gonna be pretty incoherent and there's a huge possibility I'll start crying." I added a miserable attempt at a laugh, but there was nothing funny about it.

"That's alright."

I sat up, drawing the blanket closer around me. Eliza withdrew her hand and placed it on my back, her smile encouraging and giving me the strength to tell her what I had seen.

"Well, uh, it was a lot like my usual nightmares, you know? The cold, the fear, the Tenebrie chasing me. But, urm, this time, I heard his voice. I couldn't make out what he was saying. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me. I didn't know which direction it was coming from."

"But it was definitely his voice?"

"Definitely." I swallowed despite the clump of sand sitting heavily in my throat. There was no mistaking it. That was the voice I had longed to hear just one more time. I wanted it more than anything else in the world, and yet, when I heard his whispers, threatening and distorted, all I wanted to do was forget. "It was just a bad dream."

Eliza's jaw locked, as if something I said didn't sit right with her. "What did he say?"

"I couldn't make it out. It was so far away, and I was just so... cold. I couldn't focus. I couldn't make out what he was saying." My eyes dropped to my hands as I played with the blanket. "Sometimes, when musicians like Thomas play, the instruments can be out of tune. It sounds horrible. Like death. That's kinda what it sounded like. Like his voice was out of tune."

I glanced to Eliza for comfort, and her hand slowly snaked around to my arm farthest away from her. She pulled me a bit closer to her, enough to where I could rest my head on her shoulder.

"He sounded hurt. Divinity, I'm sorry. This isn't fair to you. It's probably just a dream—"

"Alexander, what did we talk about?"

"It's not good to dismiss your feelings," I recanted, smiling a little, especially when she nudged me. "I know, I know. I just...what if whatever that thing was that we saw out there is playing with my head? What if it's the King?"