Don't Let Go (Third Book to the Other Side)

Chapter Twenty

As the drawing room faded, I focused on one single thing, two little words, one incredibly easy sentence that I repeated over and over again. And yet, it was next to impossible to keep myself calm.

Don't cry.

Of course, there was more involved in that command than just not crying. I had to force myself to stop thinking about all the horrible things that could have been happening to General Washington. I had to physically keep myself from shaking otherwise I'd never be able to teleport to where he needed us. I had to stop picturing crimson blood spilling, coming into sharp contrast with an emerald green ground.

Don't cry.

And of course, I had to focus on not crying.

But I couldn't attend another funeral.

Don't cry.

Seconds passed. Seconds that felt like hours. I pressed my eyes tight together, but it wasn't only so I wouldn't be blinded by the bright light that surrounded me. I thought about anything but that gray statue Lafayette would pull from the ground with such an impossible likeness it would make me feel like I was going to throw up.

Don't cry.

How could I not? It was the only thing I was brave enough to do. Sobs were pushing themselves up past my throat, trying to pry my mouth open, but I repeated those two words in my mind as much as I could until they started to sound funny.

Don't cry.

It didn't help that they were the exact same words he had whispered to me the night before. I could even picture his voice if I tried hard enough, as well as the ghost of a touch that caressed my cheek.

Don't cry.

Finally, after what was far too long of anticipation and anxiety gripping onto me with its cold, dead grasp, my feet hit the ground. Hard. I stumbled forward, unbalanced by the landing, but managed to right myself and look around. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I desperately looked around for him. James was already there, his lips drawn into a thin, worried line. Peggy was next to him seconds later, slowly followed by everyone else.

I staggered back, the cluster of trees we had landed in the middle of dispersing into that all too familiar garden.

Don't cry.

A scream bubbled up to my lips, but James seemed to notice what I was about to do and grabbed my arm. "Wait," he said softly. "It won't do any good."

The name died on the tip of my tongue as James pulled me along, searching the woods. The fallen leaves crunched underneath my feet, eerily the only noise in the entire forest.

Don't cry.

Just focus on the mission. That's all I had to do. That's all I needed to do. Washington was fine. Everything was fine. I had to stop worrying about the stupid shit that wouldn't leave me alone. That was becoming next to impossible.

Lafayette was walking next to me, his arms crossed as he scanned the forest. Peggy behind me, Hercules ahead, and so on. I did my best to keep everyone in my sight. I had to know where they were. It was the only thing that could calm me down. Because if somebody went missing...

Don't cry, don't cry.

"There," James hissed, holding out a hand as a blotch of gray flashed across the path ahead of us. A bird landed on a branch, gazing at James calmly, then turned and disappeared into the forest. "Follow." He took off after the creature, the leaves obscuring him.