Don't Let Go (Third Book to the Other Side)

Chapter Eleven

"All I am saying is that you have seemed a lot...happier, lately," Lafayette said, raising his hands defensively. "And I am not judging you! It is a very good thing! And we are all quite happy to hear you laugh again."

"Well, thanks," I said, brightly. What he said was true. I hadn't been this happy in weeks, and it was all because of my nightly secret visits to Thomas's world. Each time I went was better than the last, revealing new secrets, new things to explore, and the city was beginning to grow. "I guess I just figured it was time to stop being upset and angry."

Eliza eyed me worryingly, but she didn't say anything. She knew me better than I knew myself, and honestly, it was a little terrifying to have somebody who always knew what you were feeling no matter how hard you tried your best to keep it to yourself. Terrifying, bur strangely comforting at the same time.

I took her hand in mine and nudged her slightly with my shoulder, an authentic grin touching my face. It was nice to not have to fake them anymore. "Everything's alright," I promised her. "Really."

She smiled, though it fell flat. "I believe you." And I knew she wanted to. And maybe she did. She just didn't understand why I was so happy.

Lafayette and Hercules were walking ahead of us, their backs turned. I took the chance and kissed her cheek lightly and fast enough so she couldn't react. Her demeanor instantly relaxed, and she even laughed a little, which before seemed like an impossible task. She was nervous, and it wasn't just about me. But she had every reason to be nervous.

We were about to step into the lion's den, just the four of us, with hardly any information on the lions who lived inside. We didn't even know if they were lions.

"We'll find Angelica," I had promised her before we left the castle. "And she's going to be alright." If she believed me, she hadn't said anything.

But to her defense, everything about the day alluded to a dramatic defeat. The sky was dark gray, promising a storm, and the air was eerily still. There was no breeze to worsen the cold air, but that really didn't comfort me that much. And this morning, I had woken up with a bitter taste in my mouth that reminded me a lot of the stench of death and rot.

I kept my hand entwined with Eliza, calmed by the warm press of her skin against mine. Fortunately, I needed her more and more as the days went on. I needed somebody to hold and to touch and to love, and she was perfect for all three. As the days kept passing, I came to realize that I truly and deeply care about her. 

And I can't help but feel like I've betrayed her somehow. I hate lying to people, her most of all, but what other option do I have? If I tell her what I'm doing every night, she won't let me see him anymore. And then I'll be lost, and Thomas will be lost. But if she finds out on her own, how hurt would she feel?

There is a snake of rot twisting through my stomach. And what's even worse is knowing that there isn't anything I can do about it but sit and wait for somebody to show me what I'm supposed to do. I need somebody to help me.

"Worried?" I asked her, voice dropped to a whisper so the thoughts would stay between the two of us.

"'Course not!" she chirped, though I could see behind her upbeat exterior. "We're going to find Angelica, and like you said, everything's going to be okay. There's no need to worry about things that might or might not happen."

"I mean," Hercules said, laughing to himself. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Zombie plague," I added thoughtfully.

"A what plague?" Lafayette repeated, turning around so he was walking backwards and eyeing me carefully.

I shook my head. "Legions of undead that fester in hatred and self-pity. Their only goal is to kill and eat brains."