A Thousand Lies

Chapter 10

Song: if you knew

Chapter name: going back

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Temperance

Thoughts of my disgusting body storm in my head.

Why did I let him know what happened to me? He thinks I'm disgusting. Fuck. Fuck. I'm so disgusting.

Its clear to me now that I have to leave. I'll never be safe from my father. No matter where I am.

I tried to blind myself but this assault brought me back to my senses. I'll never be safe, and there's no use burdening Alec.

I grab a paper and pencil and start writing.

I know you find me gross now. Don't worry. I find myself gross too. I will get out of your hair now. And I will go home. I will see you at school if you decide to come. I know you are busy with gang stuff.
Xoxo Temperance

I place the note on his nightstand, folding it up neatly. I know people will start looking for me soon, so I have to get out of here quickly.

I have nothing to take back with me, so I leave with the clothes on my back and the prescribed pills.

I ignore the pain and sneak my way out of the house and down the driveway.

I can't stay here anymore. I know I have to go home even if I don't want to.

It is dark all around me. It's probably ten at night or so. I don't know, I didn't check any clocks while I was inside.

I slowly walk down the road, avoiding being hit by cars.

I am scared—more than scared. I am terrified of what I was going to face at home.

I've only run away one other time. Then I ended up in the hospital when I came back.

I was only gone for two days, sleeping on park benches until a squirrel tried to kill me.

When I returned home my father beat me so bad I thought I was going to die.

The doctors questioned me for hours. I had to blame it on bullies like always.

If I'm lucky, maybe a car will run me over. Then I won't have to live in this shit world anymore.

I am tired. I hurt where no girl is supposed to hurt like that. It is burning as I walk. I try my best not to let it bother me. But I still have a limp when I walk.

I look at the door that will lead me into my house. My stomach is in knots. My anxiety level is at a thousand. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I open the door, almost dropping to my knees as I see my father calmly watching tv.

His eyes catch me and he stands to his feet.

Maybe I should just turn around now? Run for my life?

Before I can make my decision his fist connects with my face, causing me to stumble backward into the wall.