A Thousand Lies

Chapter 49

Chapter name: time to talk

**************************************************************************

Temperance

I stare at the ceiling that is not my own, my head replaying my actions last night. I still feel Alec on me from last night, my mind running in circles from the things we had done only a few hours ago.

I don't think death is what I want anymore. Of course, that's what I wanted a few days ago... but maybe I just wanted to kill the situation around me.

Yesterday I thought I hated Alec, now I think I love him again. Is that the effect of sex? Is your brain forcing you to think you love the man that entered your body?

No, I don't think that's it, I've always loved him, the anger inside of me just blinded me. My emotions have spun me into a sticky web I have no idea to get out of.

I shut my eyes and put my hand on my growling stomach.

I guess sex be a beautiful thing as long as both sides want it.

I turn my head, glancing at the empty spot that was left by Alec. I don't hate him, I just hate what he did to me. But do I have a right to feel that way?

Shaking my thoughts away I slowly sit up, holding my empty stomach.

We were up until two last night doing certain things, I'm surprised he woke up so early.

As I walk down the stairs, I see Alec with Zander. Zander looks up at me with a bright smile. "Hey, Temp." He comes up to hug me.

I hug him back with the feeling that Alec is staring. I take in Zander's scent, hoping he doesn't smell Alec on me or the sweat from last night. Whenever Zander and I separate, he goes back over to Alec, who is indeed staring at me.

"Hi..." I awkwardly blurt. He looks confused as if I'm not supposed to feel awkward after the things we had done last night. "I'll leave," Zander suggests before standing back to his feet, my face heating up with the thought that he knows.

When he leaves my eyes to go toward Alec again, hearing the door close behind me.

Great. Now I'm left with Alec. I guess it's time to talk. "Can I sit?" I ask, pointing to the couch beside him. He nods, and I step past him and sit down.

"So..." He sits down on the other couch. It is awkward. I can feel my face getting red. "I don't know what last night was... I enjoyed it but I feel like we haven't discussed things you're still holding onto." He shifts in his seat, his eyes watching me.

I stay quiet and bite my lip awkwardly.

"Listen. I'll tell you anything you want to know. I won't hold anything back. Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you about." He offers, his sentence repeating a bit.

I shift in my seat as my stomach lets out a loud growl. I want to hear what he has to say.

"Why HER?" I start gritting my teeth. The thought of them together makes my blood boil. It makes my heart tighten up.

"She was the easiest to get to." He sighs, and his facial expression shows his embarrassment as clear as day. "You're fucking stupid," I growled. As soon as I see the hurt in his eyes, guilt started to rush over me.