A Thousand Lies

Chapter 44

Kenli dabs a wet cloth against my bloody lip as I reposition myself on the countertop.

"How does your eye feel?" She glances at my swollen eye before taking the rag away from my lip and rinsing it out with cold water.

I don't answer her question as I adjust my ears to the sound of Austin's footsteps.

His steps echo in the living room before the door opens and then slams, signaling that he's left.

She stops for a few seconds, listening for the sound of the foot opening back up. Once it's been a few seconds and she's sure he's gone she relaxes. Her chest rises, signaling her sigh of relief.

My head spins as my body violently throbs. I stare at the wall behind us, letting Kenli dab my blood away. Through the closed door, I hear ice clanking in the freezer.

"Maybe I'm not supposed to be alive," I state, not thinking much about the words I'm spouting for Kenli's ears. I feel her tense up, her eyes darting to my eyes and the back to the cloth.

"I have had this thought several times. If I was supposed to be alive then all this pain wouldn't be here." I add on.

Kenli takes the rag away from my skin, rinsing it out in the sink once again, thinking about what to reply with.

I run my tongue across my teeth, stopping when I feel a loose tooth. I curse under my breath, wiggling it with my tongue before deciding to leave it alone.

"Are you even listening to yourself?" She asks me, leaving the rag in the sink as she turns off the faucet.

I lean back, my back touching the cold mirror, "It's a constant thought." I respond. Her lips part as to think, not making eye contact with me.

I look down at my bruised legs, my mind going back to Austin's words.

There's no doubt about what he meant by getting rid of me. He is going to sell me into the trafficking ring. I suppose that is the quickest and easiest way to get rid of me. He would be getting money out of it too, so that's a plus for him.

"Do you want to die?" Kenli asks, dragging me out of my thoughts. I force a small smile on my face, feeling a lump form in my strained throat.

"Don't you?" I only ask since she's been stuck in an abusive situation just like I have.

She steps back, studying me before putting her hair into a ponytail, "No, I don't want to die."

Only now do I realize that I should've taken the pain meds. I know that I wanted to feel the pain to sever the hauntings of my emotions but now my head spins with pain.

"Why don't you?" I don't know if I want all of me to die or just a part of me to die, whatever that means.

"Life will get better. We don't have to die in this situation, we will grow up and be out from under them." She says quietly.

I envy her thoughts, I could only ever dream of being that optimistic.

The way I see it is that I have two options: kill or be killed. I'm stuck in this vicious cycle of abuse and no one will get me out of this but me.