why / ON HOLD

Birthdays?

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ok so ummm i have concluded im rlly bad at uploading chapters lol who knew?

me:

audience:ummmmmmm all of us??

me:shh i don have an audience!!!!!

ok so umm here is the next chapter!!

oh yeah there is a *******trigger warning here*********

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The Hot Guy

"DUDE GET YOU LAZY ASS OUT OF BEDD THERES SCHOOL TODAY"hesus cant a man get somee sleep around here

"go away let me sleep" i groaned out then i thought "why dont you go bother cloe or someone else"

"well there is no one else to bother except you your the only one asleep still"

thats when i heard the snickering as soon as i opened my eyes my blankets were thrown of me nd i was freezing and wet yeo they did it again

"i swear if you dipshits dont stop waking me up and throwing a bucket of ice and water on me-"

"ooooohhhh mommmmmm he said a bd word" i was cut of and my mom was outside the door

"i know but i cant control him anymore today is his birthday he is 18 i tld you guys not to prank him today"

"im sorry mrs salazzar "

"sorry mom" they allstarted apologizin

'i dont think im the e that needs the apologizing apologize to ypour brother"

"ater that she said come down you still have school and we have a surprise for you"

"ok mom ill be there in a few"

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school was boring as usull i mean i know al this stuff  maybe i should gone with al AP classes only History was the only AP class i didnt have bt i didnt want to e pegged as a nerd but i men who really cares now i mean deeeeep deeeep down i probably am a nerd....

"hey dude" i  cant stand this guy he is a man whore like big time

"sup" jesus i swear my fake smile is becoming more real everyday

you see i know im supposed to feel happy because it my birthday n all but lately my depression has just gotten worse like rlly bad i was pulled out of my thoughts again see guys they always do that to me.its times like these i really hate wattpad......

"hey" i said back

"wana go to the tree before lunch"

"yeah sure"

"once we got there we did our ritual of checking to mak sure noone was there and then  herman broke out 2 disposables after a few hits herman started talking more and then somethng about seeing his cousin in the hospital ...come to think of it he was cousin with this really pretty girl ive seen around i had bee at the church for a while but during the play i sthe first time ive actually seen her but ive seen pictures of her on sm and stuff yess i am a stalker but not the creepy kind

"hey herman"

dmn this dude was fde oday must be going through something

"yeah " he replied

"you know that girl that hangs with the group and nsome of them smoke with yiu??"

"emmm yeah there like two or 3 r u talking about one of my cousins?"

"umm yeah"

oh well lee hasn't been smoking "he muttere "so you probably mean maddy"

"oh that's her name "

"ummm yea anyreason you wanna know"

"nope jst wondering"

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**********trigger warning*************

at lunch there werea different varity of food good thing i smoked or else it would be anothe day without eating sometimes i dont eat on purpose but there are times lie now i just dont eat because im depressed and i dont see the point.

"hey dude you should eat today"herman said he knows about my problems he caught on right away apparently he saw signs something about his cousin going through something similar

"ummm yeah im going to eat today"

i ate a liot welp looks like today's a binge day

we had wrestling today and i couldn't et my weight bugde right after lunch i went to the toilets someone waled in on me  in the middle of my session

"dude"it was herman great now hes gunna know about this also

he just siged "why didnt you tell me " he asked when i was completly done

"why woud i its not like guys are supposed to binge andpurge  i mean they dont gain eight when eating but what about the few that do? huh what about them what are we supposed to do what about the ones whho hate their bodys scars an all because they wer bullied? what about that?"

"im sorry but do you always ..purge?"

"no actually last time i purgd was maybe 1 day or two ago the last time a i ate..."

well whats done is done but you  know you can talk to me right?

yea i know

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we were at play practice i coulnt tak my eyes offf the girl she had a twin but there was anothr girl who looked surprisingly like her maybe its just because im blind....

so i thin im going to make a move today she is just so pretty and different but she also has that familiar vibe i dont know maybe im just imagining it

after practice they had donuts it ws dark and clear out i saw her go out and she was grabbing one for her and her friend

i snuck behind her and  waited for her to turn around i guess i was closer than i thought because she bumped into me

"oh im so sorry i wasnt watch-"she started to say

the she looked up and it was lie a breath escaped her and she turned slightly pink damn she looked pretty blushing

"bruuhhhh" i heard anas voice say "you seriously need to watch it "

great why is it always one of my sister annoying the shit out of me i mean i love them but really leave me alone

then i answered and said "jeez at least im not as clumsy as you Ive seen you trip on air"

all of a sudden her blush got deeper maybe she thought i was talking about her

then ana" said Ive done it like once you cant hold that over me"  ok she saw ana she knows who we are talking about

i then rolled my eyes  looked at he rsmiled and said "good job today" and i could feel i was going to blush and chickened out then left great you had a chance why fo once couldnt you be cool and not chivken out you big pussie

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soooooo idk how was that i was in a rush and omg i have so much to do first semester is almost over thanksgiving is coming up i have drum line and ahhhhhhhhhhhh so umm hope you enjoyed and i just wanted to say guys go through this stuff also they have feelings and ways of coping dont judge a guy for having a mental illness any ways

toodle loo till next time