why / ON HOLD

Untitled Part 17

getting ready to go out for food and drinks was different it was my last day inpatient and it felt a little weird but what ive taken away from this i that not everything is as it seems..

for instance the guy with schizophrenia was the most realistic down to earth person you would ever meet.

the girl who repeatedly cut herself using whatever she could find was the most positive and told everyone that they deserve another chance at life

the 10 year old boy had a bipolar disorder was the most understanding and caring person you could ever hope to meet.

the girl with binge eating disorder was the most body positive person ever

the 15 year old guy with anorexia was the one who was most open and would let you talk to him and not judge you no matter what

everyone there had something that other people didn't know about the drug addicts tended to be understanding the eating disorder unit kids were the most body positive

the self harmers talked about love

the others were all about getting through this one day at a time

not everyone is what they seem on the outside me im broken and scared and pale but on the inside there's a reason its deep but i still know the importance of love and support and all of these years not having it from the people Ive needed it most from Ive realized that we have to give it to someone else no matter what,so no matter how pissed i get or how sad im not going to lash out im going to learn to try to understand because there is usually a reason for all things

so that's why right now as im standing outside of dutch bros and cover in a rebel im am trying so hard to not fume over lets rewind and see how we got here

*2 hours earlier*

" soooooo are you ready where do want to go first?" my brother asked

"well lets go home and pick up the van and then we can just pick everyone else up " i answered

"ok great sounds good"

*1 hour later*

"ok so whats closest to us?" Herman asked everyone he got the short straw and had to drive ad yes he is sober

"i think there a wendys around the corner its actually pretty new" kacey answered

"alright so well stop there first then eat and then go to dutch" i said

everyone said ok or yea

once we got there i ordered a frosty and the fries a lemonade and a burger and a salad cuz yenno gotta be healthy

anyways we ate and talked but mainly ate we were to focused on the food it was just so good right after we headed to dutch and it wasn't to far but we were in line for like 20 minutes so we decided to get down when we got down i saw someone well not just someone i saw a cousin ...who particularly doesnt like me .....

"hey guys scar alert " i said

"whos scar" kacey asked

we all just looked at her with a look that say not enough time later or better yet never

" ill explain later but it might take a while..."

"next" the lady taking the orders said

"hey im going to have a galaxy fish rebel blended and ill have a large.."

" ok is that all ?"

after that everyone decided to order at the same time as we were waiting in line to get our drinks scar noticed us well me more specifically me and thats where everything started..

"hey ali"

"hi scar hows it going ?"

"oh you know its going"

"i hope all is well" i answered truthfully but she narrowed her eyes

"it is"she answered as i got my drink

"anyways i saw you and i wanted to ask if you knew tommys number i heard you were friends or something like that"she said as she looked at her nails in disgust at the word friends

"well we are talking right now i can ask him if i can give his number"

"talking really what about ?" she asked trying to act like she didn't know

"oh you know talking the thing that happens before dating"

"dont lie no one would want to talk to you that way no offense"

"none taken but you know i beg to differ since you know someone does find me desirable enough to talk to me "

"ughh your such a bitch and full of yourself sometimes"

"well thats nice to know i guess"

"ughhh no wonder everyone hates you"

as she said that i was just sipping my drink and nodding which seemed to piss her off even more so she reached up and snatched my drink opened the lid and dumped it one me

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED omygod thats freezing  "

"serves you right your just an insufferable cocky bitch who needs all the attention"

"you know what that's fine you can have your opinions of me i just ask that if your going to be that negative around me then don't come near me at all "

and that ladies and gentlemen is why i am reminding myself not everything is as it seems

"this is going to be hell to get out of my hair im going to need some caffeine to deal with this ..." was the last thing i said as i walked towards the car

***********

 WOAHHHHHHH *i updated*

*big round of applauseeeeeee*

anyways long story short im back and trying to work harder and better and yea but anyways im going to start a new book i don't know what its going to be called i really haven't gotten that far in the process other than its going to be like a life story of mine and it will keep going till i feel like it needs to end this is mainly therapy for me and something to raise awareness for others but im still contemplating mainly because its going to be very hard for me personally and yea anyways what do y'all think i don't think if i do it im going to put that as a priority unless it somehow gets attention but yeah i would love to know your thoughts..

the song was basically there because i dont know.... ive just had it stuck in ma head lol

toodle loo for now

vote and comment and yeah lol