Atonement - Book Four (Man x Man)

Chapter 22

The look of surprise as he topples back onto his bottom into the shallow water is enough to insight a laugh from my tired body. I can't help but grin, chuckle even, at the bewildered expression. There wasn't enough water to submerge him, unfortunately, but enough that he is sufficiently wet from top to bottom from the splash.

 I easily deflect the water droplets with a smooth pass of my hand and I casually dust myself off. "Well well, how the mighty have fallen." I muse. I can hear the low growl in his throat and I can tell it's quite possible he's angry with me.

I bite my lip as he climbs out of the water, the desired effect has been achieved and the pale shirt clings to him in ways that should be sinful. When did I get so focused on his body? Scolding myself quietly, it never had really mattered to me before. I had always been fond of him, not his physique, and yet, here I am practically drooling over his midsection.

It's an odd sensation, to be such a highly sexualized person and have that side of yourself completely turned off for months on end. I can only figure it's build-up from the amount of restraint I've had to endure since Taryek took him from me. 

There had been no time to rebuild, we had either been at odds with each other, fighting for our lives or not even together. Being with Marcus had convinced me of what I wanted and when I look back, I can clearly remember desiring this man to the point of pain.

  Even in my damped state of mind, with all my flaws and all my current baggage, I can admire Stefan's encouragement to take a vacation. I couldn't know him before, there was no time to know him but now, it would seem, there was some space to reconnect. Unfortunately, it had to come at the cost of my sanity.

He storms up to me, I'm trying my hardest to stifle my grin. One thing is for certain, this does not trigger my fear response. 

"You looked hot?" I try. 

Verando narrows his eyes, unamused. In a quick motion, he puts his arm around me and pulls me against his wet body. His free hand scrubs through his hair to spritz me down with water. I struggle, squirm and grin, though this hint of panic sets in at the vice-like grip that keeps me trapped. 

Swallowing hard, shutting my eyes tightly, "Stop." I breathe. "Stop!" I break free from him, trying to catch my breath. Any anger is replaced with concern as he waits for me. "Sorry. Just.. got a little claustrophobic I suppose."

"It's alright, darling." He tells me, gently. "I shouldn't have-" 

I stop him, grabbing his left hand, the one I'm certain I cut off his brother. Squeezing it in both of my hands, it's my anchor to this world, to reality. As long as I can do this, as long as I can hold onto this part, I know that this is real. 

"I just need time." There is no reason why he should look at me this way, so gentle, so understanding. My dictator, watching me as if I was the only person on this earth.

"I'll take you any way I can have you." He reassures me. 

Verando brings my hand cautiously up to his lips, kissing my knuckles. I note that his beard is gone, it's back to the stubble that I'm used to. Slipping my hand out of his, I clutch it to my chest awkwardly. I clear my throat and try to decide how to proceed as I search the ground and retain a sense of dignity in my stance.

When you seem to resort to sex for filler, it makes interactions more difficult. I'm young, truly, I don't have the life experience or the personal confidence to fill the air with my own being. "It's difficult, isn't it? How often do we have a chance to just speak to each other? You might actually find you don't care for me much at all." He teases. 

"I beg your pardon, sir?" I mock offense. 

"Well you wanted to get to know me, this is the best way. Come on." Following alongside him, questioning him with my expression, I invite in the familiar warmth. "Like you have anything better to do? This is how I occupy myself, when you want to get to know someone you learn about your common interests."