Atonement - Book Four (Man x Man)

Chapter 19

We walk in silence, I stick as close to him as I dare. I watch the back of his neck, seeing the bite mark peeking out from under his collar. I watch as his hair fades and varies in the shades of gray, whereas Shellshocks had seemed darker.

 My eyes drift down to his shoulder, I can see the small size difference and a brief flash comes from when he was infected, laying on the bed and I tried to heal him. So if the left shoulder is smaller, did the dark magic wear off? I reach out to touch it, absently but stop when I notice him glance at me over his shoulder. I retract my hand, what am I doing?

 Every moment it's becoming more and more clear to me that there are two people. 'Alpha' and his brother. 

But how do I know who caused what? How do I know if there is any good in either of them? Some of those memories, even if they're blurry, they feel so real. He would tie me up, just like Shellshock did. He would speak to me in such a way that would make my heart pound, was it not in fear? 

He killed my family. It's not blurry at all, it's brighter than any memory I have. He killed my father, my mother, Corina is the only family I have left. We enter The Manor and he leads me down the hallway. I freeze, wrapping my arms around myself. "Where are you taking me?" I haven't been alone with him. 

He pauses, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Your bedroom but-" He purses his full lips, when did he get a scar? "I can see that probably is unwise. Where do you want to go?" My heart pounds at the thought, is he already trying to trap me? "Where do you feel the safest?" Away from you. I stop myself, he has information I want and a part of me does want to be around him, no matter how hard I crush it down.

 A piece of me pleads to not turn him away. "The erm- there's a room where they serve food and there's a woman singing." 

He thinks about this. 

"That is every room, darling."

"Don't call me that-" I have to pause, taking a deep breath. "Nicolas is fine. Nic, if you must." 

"Nicolas." He corrects himself. He takes a slow inhale and I wonder if he's upset with me but I watch him scan our surroundings before settling in a direction. "The room you were in with Stefan?" I nod. How does he remember? "You go there a lot, that's where your scent is the strongest."

 I try not to let it bother me and I allow him to lead the way.

We sit down at one of the rear booths, the room seems much more empty this time. The large-chested redhead is on stage today. "Don't you think it's a bit creepy that you can smell me out?" I point out.

Verando pauses as he sits before settling down. "Not particularly. I am a lycan, comes with the territory." I lean back into my seat, maybe this was a bad idea. He's watching me with that intense gaze, I think back to my conversations with the redhead. 

Look for differences. His eyes, they aren't light as my tormentors, even if they are bright. 

"I have memories of you as a human?" It's one of the few ones of him that doesn't hurt. "What happened to your shoulder? I healed it." It almost offends me that it's back in a similar condition.  

"Briefly. But that wasn't working and we needed the wolf so I gave it up. The shoulder-" He looks like he doesn't want to tell me but instead he takes a moment to collect his thoughts. So he is hiding things from me. I stiffen but he softens his expression. 

"You know. There is a theory on why she was able to separate us, because you don't actually know much about me so-" He folds his hand on the table, toying with one of his rings. "When she manipulated your thoughts, there wasn't much to fall back on when it came to who I actually was. I must seem like a complete stranger to you."