Didn't See It Coming

Chapter One.

Chapter One: Baboons do the tango and you can't spell.

Nancy Drew by Sløtface

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This is my second book.
I've taken criticism for mistakes I made in my first and wrote this one with those in mind and a whole new understanding of the topics in this book.

Everything makes sense i promise though it may seem detached you have to pick up on little things.

I'd love to hear feedback on this one especially since I have changed my mind on whether I should stop writing and just review or not.

Anyway.

On with the rest of the book.

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Let me share my life story with you.

Trust me it's worth it.

When I was born a small annoying human tagged along after me.

Exactly 17.86 seconds after me.

Her name is Anabella, but she likes to be called Annie.

Thank Neptune we don't look alike!

When I was six I realised that mum, dad and well basically everyone else ignored me completely because of her presence except for a few choice people, my older brother Harrison, my sister Amberley and my Aunt Petra.

When I was six and a half I found one person who didn't notice her in fact he was completely repulsed by her.

Zack my best friend who unlike my parents threw me a seventh birthday party and got me a gift.

That gift is Mr Teddy who unlike Ted didn't wake up and live.

When we were eight Zack and I discovered our love for all things skatey so we got skate boards, we broke them a year later after I accidentally reversed Zack's dad's car.

We worked hard to get new skateboards for two summers.

Lemonade stands don't make as much as they used to.

When grade six rolled around we had our boards and because of Annie's popularity everyone started calling me skateboard girl.

Zack was popular too so...no nickname for him.

At fourteen after he tapped my devine behind I beat up Peter Antonio and won the title street fighter.

At fifteen after being hit by the ugly side of puberty I decided to end myself by wearing heels, it was painful but I did not die.

And finally when I was sixteen puberty hit full force meaning my boobs came in my arse and my waist I got the title Goth Queen.

Between seventeen and eighteen questions began to bubble up in my mind and so the dawn of present day me grew.

So now I'm nineteen in my first year sharing an apartment with the devil in prada. (Anabella)

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"DO YOU MIND?" I could feel my temperature rise at the foul stench of roses mixed with another sweet and sugary substance, it drove me nuts knowing I am actually related to this walking form of torture that was currently in a pair of heels, a mini skirt and tight off the shoulder crop top.