Didn't See It Coming

Chapter Thirty- two

Chapter Thirty-two: itches, scratches and tears.
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Have you ever stared at a blank space wondering why you're doing so?

I'm sure lots of people have had these moments of reflection and honestly I think mine is one of the worst.

To be clear non of my reflections are ever good and I'm sure that there's a murderer out there who completely disagrees with my statement, but I'm reflecting  because I'm a horrid person.

I'm not the typical I hate my life teen or whatever but right now  I hate my decision to sleep with Zack, I can already hear Liby, Harrison, Amber, Annie and Max saying 'We told you so' repeatedly, then using rule 47 to claim their twenty bucks each as agreed upon.

Yes sure it has been an entire week since I opened my legs wide for my best friend and there has been no problems with our friendship.
We had a sleepover just two days ago but there is the air of awkwardness whenever we are extremely close, it's not the usual 'fuck me' air it's more of a 'kiss me' air.
......

Screw that it's a 'we need to talk' air after all we had sex in a nightclub whilst we were both drunk.

I wish that it wasn't but it is, my heart can't help but lurch forward whenever his hand so much as grazes mine.

I'm not sure about how he feels because he is still dating Tyler, heck I literally walked in on them making out shirtless and my cheeks were immediately glazed with tomato red.

I proceeded to walk out like an automated machine and then punch a wall, thank the gods it wasn't my left hand.

"Gwen?" Duncan said his hand shaking my shoulder lightly, I looked up at him noticing the empty exam room,
"Sorry." I said standing up and walking out  with him,
"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded firmly,
"Are you sure?" He asked and I nodded again.

I know he was looking for a verbal response but I suck at lying so I prefer to either

(A) TELL THE TRUTH

OR

             (B) NOD

Jordyn swang an arm around me from behind,
"Hey Ari, how was your exam?" She asked and  I shrugged,
"I don't  know, good?" Jordyn stopped abruptly unconsciously making me stop along with her and Duncan  stood watching her next move,
"Okay, what the fuck is wrong?" I shrugged again,
"Nothing is wrong." I said starting to walk again and she pulled me back,
"Arianna, there is something bothering  you." I rolled my eyes.

Exactly when wasn't a problem begging to be solved by me? When wasn't there an itch at the back of my mind that I refused to scratch?

"Jordyn, there is absolutely nothing bothering me."

Huh look at that I've managed to lie.

Maybe I can lie after all.

"Your a really bad liar Aria." She scowled and I started walking once more, exactly why does it matter if I'm bothered by the fact that my best friend whom I also happen to be head over heels in love with is dating another person,nothing about that is bothering me.

It's just something I constantly thinking about...alot.

"Gwen we just want to help." Duncan said and I rose an eyebrow at him,
"Does it look like I need help?" Both of them glanced at one another before nodding
"Yeah you need help." Duncan said blankly and I growled,
"No I don't." I said louder almost yelling,
"Arianna, you need to talk about your feelings,keeping them all locked up is going to cause an explosion and  everyone will get hurt." Jordyn said making direct eye contact with me  my temperature was rising at a rapid pace and I felt my chest tighten.

My eyes burnt wanting to release tears, tears of anger and heartache but I closed them  breathing,
"I'm not holding in any feelings." I said flatly as I opened my eyes,
"If you say so, but remember  Aria if you need a shoulder or two to cry on  we're  right here." I nodded hugging them both to recieve some sort of comfort before I started walking home, once I got home I was met with an odd sight.

Adonis and  Annie were both getting ready to leave, Annie in a sleek black dress and heels and Adonis in a freaking  suit.
"I'll be back soon kay." She said before kissing my cheek,
"Okay." Adonis hugged me,
" I hope you don't mind, but I'm taking her out." He said and I mustered up my best smile,
"You two go on and have some fun." I said and they both have me goofy smiles and left.

I decided that an empty house wasn't a good plan for me in that moment  so I put on a pair of leggings and a spots bra then threw a jacket over it and with my gym bag I left to go and run.

The gym wasn't full but niether was it empty.

I went to a treadmill  and switched to  level ten whilst listening to Halsey, the songs all fueled my continuous running until it got to colours and I lost it as I ran  and when my legs refused to keep going I switched the machine back to level one then back to a complete stop.

I hit the shower and changed into a large shirt and jeans, leaving the gym and walking back home, at least I thought I was headed home until I found myself in front of Zack's building I  walked forward and initiate  the "Talk" taking my mind's bleek message but I swear my luck is just shitty because it was then that I saw them, Zack and Tyler walking out of the building with smiles on their faces and interlacing hands, after that Tyler got into his car and drove off.

I hate to admit it but I wanted that. I wanted to have my fingers fit carelessly between Zack's and for our grins to spread that wide.

My chest tightened and my eyes finally released a stream of warm tears down my hot cheeks, I turned on my heel pretending to have not seen them.

My tears fell faster as I walked.

"Arianna!" I heard Zack  call and I only walked faster, there was no way in hell that I was going to talk  to him like this, I'm not even sure what I might say in my state.

His hand landed on my shoulder and held me in place, he walked over and stood in front of me I instinctively looked at my feet as the tears fell and my hair fell forward to cover my probably red face, Zack  knew what this meant, he knew I didn't want him to see me cry.

I'm not sure what he saw in the situation though seeing me shake and cry but his arms wrapped around me,pulling me in and burying my face in his shirt,
"Don't cry..." He cooed,
"...If you cry I'll cry." He continued as he held me close, the irony in the situation just made me want to break out into a fit of laughter if I still could.

I was crying over my best friend in his arms.