Humourous poetry

The Christmas Gift

The Christmas Gift

And it came to pass that Mary read the words,  

And the words were good,  

And Mary, though being sore afraid  

Didst order of the product from out of the east.  

And she did rejoice with much joy  

Upon its appearance before the appointed hour.  

Where upon she wrapped it in swaddling paper  

And under the Christmas tree gently laid it,  

With sighing of relief and thanking of god.  

Then was it surrounded by other gifts  

And lay waiting in blessed silence.  

In the morning Mary's husband took up the gift  

Which he didst unwrap with wonder,  

And was of troubled mind, saying,  

What is this of which thou hast given me?  

And Mary replied thereof  

Tis an MP3 player with 20gb memory  

Which may be used to back up all thy PC.  

And her husband was filled with gladness  

And he did thank Mary saying  

'Praise be, it is just what I needed', and  

'Thou art my wife in whose gift I am dead chuffed'.  

Then did her husband read of the user guide  

And lo the specifications spake not  

Of all that Mary had told unto him  

And his sadness was great.  

So he spake unto Mary of his sorrow  

And cast aside the wondrous gift as unfit.  

Whereupon, when the feasting days had passed,  

Mary didst take up of the receiver  

And rang the supplier, who didst answer.  

Then was Mary put on hold and endured  

And so spake unto three wise techies.  

They comforted her and said unto her  

'Fear not, partake of the product  

Connect it to thy PC's USB port  

And henceforth copy thy files onto the gizmo.'  

So Mary did as was bidden unto her,  

And lo the product was recognised  

And files were stored unto it,  

Just as the words had foretold.  

Then did Mary rejoiced in that the device  

Was fit for purpose and need not be returned  

And didst inform her husband that the gift was indeed great  

And that he hath not the brains given him at his birth.  

April Day