Snarled Heart (A painful journey)

SH*2

Six months later.

I'm trailing on the footsteps of memory!

Amirah_

Amirah pulled her car at the parking lot. She came out of the car and walked towards the building surveying the company. It's been six months already since Amin left her. It had never been easy for her every single day of those six months that eluded. She has to make his dream come true, of making his company one of the best in the country, and a charitable organization.

Yeah, he left a legacy and she'll devote her life following his footsteps to make his dream a reality.

The mean thing!

He left without even saying goodbye, nor making his dreams come true. Everyone's on the way too. It will take us with our bunches of wishes and unfulfilled dreams when we least expected. No one knows when that time will approach him.

She trudged through to Amin's office. Some of the staffs were around already as she told them to resume work because mourning period is over.

She opened the office and walked in. The office was a little dusty because it has not been in use for a while. Everything came back to her new the moment she scanned the office and beheld the traces of Amin. She could remember clearly when she first came to the office. Amin was sitting right there on his desk. Her eyes became soggy as she tried recalling the exact position he was sitting down. A fresh memory surged into her mind with all the forces of insistency, carrying a difficult type of pain she never knew existed. So many pains; the pain of losing the dear one, the pain of missing him, the pain of endurance and a particular ache  in her heart she couldn't describe.

"Well, you're qualified to be the MD's secretary."

Amin had mocked her on that day and smirked.

That face, that smirk remained fresh in her memory. How could she ever forget that face in her remaining life. She could remember clearly how his face glittered with a smile that day.

He looked up at her and smiled. "Choose any position you want in this company and its yours."

His face flashed on his seat and she cringed. She sat down quietly on the sofa and cried silently. She remembered how they used to sprawl on the carpet and waste away time chatting animatedly. She recalled it, just there, Amin had pulled her on his chest and patted her;

"You did well today at the meeting. Thanks for your hard work."

The sob intensified. Why can't she just die and follow after him? Must she have to suffer ache this way because she lost him? Can't fate take pity, or can't pain just look towards her with a litle compassion and stop the ache in her heart. Must her heart burnt to ashes in the embers as it dwell into the furnace of misery.

Why is it so painful whenever she remembers him, and why can't she forget him even for a split second? He had been with her in her heart every second since he departed the world. There's no day she'll not see him in her dream. She don't know what she can do to stop pain from puncturing into her heart.

Why is it that sometimes we can't just accept destiny because it deterred with our imaginations? She's thought, she'd cried, she'd imagined, yet all she could come up with is life isn't being fair to her at all. Whatever it is her heart kept telling her she doesn't deserve so much pain. But what else could she do when destiny had done it part again in parting her with her beloved, this time forever and ever. She'll never see him again. Destiny had slashed away half of her heart leaving the remaining half to rot, and it will keep festering and aching till the day she died too. How can she except the remaining part to function again. She sniffled.

Her sobs became hysterical, and the echoes of her voice resonated everywhere in the office. This isn't how she wants to live and this isn't how she chose to live.

Oh Allah! Bring ease to the heart in pain and put light in the heart that had lost lustre!

She's drifting away seriously she needed Allah's guidance to pull through.

Some moments in life are so painful that you wish you weren't born. No matter how many moment's of happiness you've had, just one moment of pain can wash away everything leaving you to blunder, it'll be as if you've never had ease in your life.

She was crying so hard, slouched on the cushion with her head hanging on air.

Nasir entered into the office. He got a place and sat down, his hands folded over his chest as he stared at her.

"Amirah is okay now, I'm sure wherever he is he won't be happy seeing you like this." He sighed bitterly, his face tinted with sadness. "Have faith in Allah and everything is going to be okay."

"Nasir I missed him," Amirah sobbed out, sniffing lightly.

"I know," Nasir managed to say.

"You won't understand," she wiped away her tears with the back of her Palm. "My heart is in so much pain I could hardly breath."

"Keep praying for yourself and him. Allah will never impose on a soul what it can't carry. No matter how weighty the load heaved on you, adjust it on your head and keep moving on, soon, Allah will unburden it off you." Nasir kept pacifying her with advices that could placate the heart, and she felt relatively at ease.

She wiped away her face clean and reclaimed her stance. "Thank you Nasir, I'll try and see. We should move on to busines now."

They discussed on the things hanging on air before the company closed.

💝💘💝

When she'd closed from work, she decided to go to their house and pick up some of her things. She hadn't been in the house since the incident happened.

She opened the house and walked in. The house looked as if it hadn't been used for ages with the amount of dust and lack of perkiness. She subjected herself to cleaning and sweeping until she exhausted her remaining energy.

She parked some of her clothes and most important things from her room into boxes and cartons, then wrapped it up.

She went into Amins room to see if there's anything she needed to carry. There was a portrait of him on his drawers, his face smiling as it glows elegantly.

She stared at the picture for a long time, finding it difficult to believe he's gone now. She can only see him on picture now, but she won't be able to see his face for real nor touch him.

Tears welled in her eyes. It feels so difficult and painful to let go. Can she ever cope with his absence in her life? This is the more, severer form of punishment that's difficult to withstand. Layla is the one making things more difficult for her now. There is no day she won't cry for her to take her to her daddy. Though Khalid always visited them, take her out sometimes and buy her chocolate, but in the night she Must cry for her daddy. She's making things difficult for her sincerely because she'll end up crying with her every night. Ummu had to stop layla from sleeping in her room to stop the all-night-heart-break.

She quickly left Amin's room, left the house in whole with the intention of never coming back to it. She can't live in that house without Amin in it. She locked the house after taking her things to the car before she breaks down again, then whirred out with a last peek at it.

I'm heart broken seriously.
*sniffling* *wiping away tears*
Take heart Amin's fans.