DILEMMA

chapter 16

First the pain begins in my head, as though circulating in my brain. Transferring small electric bolts through my nerves, veins and in my blood.
It moves to my neck, my arms, chest literally in my heart and now to my poor feet.
I'm screaming and panting as loudly, "stop this immediately!" I shout.

It feels as though it's electric volts passing through and circulating my small fragile and vulnerable body.
I'm starring at him literally crying and his covered his ears as his watching me. Like he said earlier..

"Stop stop!"
I wake up and now I'm back to the dark brownish room. I'm inhaling and exhaling so deeply as I sit up and looking around my environment. Luckily, it's back here and not that awful place, that cabin I hate that place so much.

That dream, it's made me realize a lot of things. Things that i need to investigate more.

My eyes have tears and my whole body is sweaty. I whisper to myself frustratedly, "shit what was that?"
Realizing that, that's not just a nightmare or a common dream.
These are all my past.

I've lived there but when I was so young. I've lived in that cabin before but why hasn't my mom told me about it?
I lay back down and groan angrily and irritatedly. I wipe my tears which apparently are still there and just lay flat on the bed and begin to reminisce about that dream. Firstly I see myself when I was so young probably 4 or 5, secondly a man who looked like a scientist experimented on me, thirdly he said I'm his daughter and lastly he called me lily.

What the hell is happening? Maybe my dreams could be my past or better my memories that I've long forgotten but I'm remembering them through dreams.

I stand up from the bed and almost lost my balance, I'm feeling so weak, groggy and unsteady. A nightmare making me so weak. Unbelievable.

I should shower in cold water and I'll feel better. But what shall I wear? I look around me and there's nothing to wear. I spot a wardrobe at the corner of the right wall. Maybe there's some clothes, Clean fresh clothes.

I walk over to the wardrobe balancing my balance. I open the wardrobe and they are lashings of clothes. I see a black jean folded beneath and I grab it unfolding it, It looks like my size. I see many shirts but apparently these shirts are all cropped hanging on a wire. These must be Lucie's clothes, she's the one I've seen who likes cropped shirts.

Regardless, I grab a purple shirt and place both the jean and shirt on the bed. I head to the bathroom and begin the process of bathing.

I switch the shower on and the small drops of water that splash on my body feel so good. They calm me and make my whole body feel good.

I think a shower is what I need so badly. After I'm done I head back into the room and I get dressed then head downstairs where everyone is.

I see Camilla who is sitting on the brown couch having a cup of whatever.
I'm down the staircase and she notices, she stares at me happily. Her happiness early in the morning rubs off at me. I'm feeling euphoric because of her happy face.

"Good morning Grace." She greets while smiling at me at me all happily. I walk over to her and respond, "morning Camilla." She gets up while asking, "how are you?" I respond happily, "fine and you.."

Before she responds, she's interrupted.

"Let her go have some breakfast Camilla." A person behind me exclaims startling me a little making me quiver.