The Brightest Stars Fall

Chapter 11

It's been a couple of days since everything went down and I'm handling it quiet well. Matt and I are still bestfriends, we have not talked about the other night at all so that's good too.
But.... I've realized I do have feelings for him but, I wont let them be known till he makes a move which I know he wont because he is kind of shy.
The rest of the guys know what happened and they gave Casin. Shit for it in a tough love kinda way, Casin and I talk here and there but inevitably keep out distance.
The girl he fucked keeps trying to talk to him especially when I'm around him and it just makes me laugh because she is so insecure.
Guage and Lexi have been hanging out and they are in a world of their own because none of us can sign except for Matt. They are super adorable and they mostly stay in and watch movies all the time and Guage is happy with that. He's never really been a party type, he even started driving his Mercedes because the noise and vibration was to much for Lexi which is ever cuter!
Guage really likes Lexi and even Matt is coming around about them!
"Hey, you okay?"
I look at Matt and pull away from my thoughts, I look around seeing all the guys are starring at me.
"I'm good, just thinking."
"About?"
Matt asks coming to sit next to me, my insides twist up when he's around now, in a good way.
"Just stuff, nothing in particular just stuff."
He nods and pulls me to my feet, he drags me to the kitchen and pulls out some sweet tea and hands it to me.
"You look thirsty."
He says smirking, yeah I'm thirsty, thirsty for him, fuck my life!
"Just a little."
I drink a little then sit on the counter looking at him as he leans against the fridge.
"So when are you going to tell me the truth?"
My heart starts to race,
"Truth about what?"
He smirks and gets closer to me.
"Something or, someone is in your mind. Care to tell?"
Ugh, this is what i get for liking my bestfriend! He knows me too well!
"Seriously, nothing's on my mind Matt, I'm just kinda exhausted. I think I'm going to lay down for a bit."
I hop off the counter and walk away,
"I'm gonna take a nap, I feel tired today."
Seth stands up and follows me to my room and pulls me into a tight hug.
"This depression will subside soon."
He knows me all to well too,
"Why am I like this? Why does bad things happen all around me all the time! I feel like maybe if I were gone everything would be better for everyone."
"Was it better when I was gone?"
I look at him and shake my head,
"No it was 10× harder."
He sighs,
"Then you should know first hand that isn't the way to go about this. You are a strong bad ass bitch okay! Snap out of this shit!"

I nod smiling, I lay in my bed and he stands there for a second and I thought he was gonna stay but, he walked out.
I let sleep take me away and I slept for a while till I heard arguing down stairs, I rub my eyes and sit up listening to the voices trying to decipher who's talking.
I jump out of my bed when I realize its Matt and fucking Casin! I run down stairs and they start pushing each other.
"What the hell is going on!?"
Casin looks at me and walks up to me.
"Who the hell do you think you are?! You act like you want me so much and then your here with Matt all the fucking time! I know yall have been messing around!"
What the hell is he talking about?! Did Matt tell him?!
"I told him we are just friends! I told him we have never done anything! He is a complete psycho! He fucking has sex with some hoe and then makes you out to be the bad guy! You are a piece of shit Casin!"
I bust out laughing from hysterics! I cant take this shit anymore!
"I'm done.... I'm so fucking done with this shit! Casin, you fucked that girl to hurt me, correct?!"
He looks away and nods.
"Then why the fuck does it matter if me and Matt have or have not done anything?! You and I are not together! You already proved to me that if things got bad you'd hurt me on purpose! I don't want this shit anymore, I don't want anyone to like me, want me, love me! I'm not some shiny toy! I'm not a trophy! I'm not the best person in the world and I'm for sure not right for any of yall! You all care about what yall want and not about what I want!"
I start to feel dizzy quickly and i black out quick.