mine (rd.benji)

- four

aleyia

i sat out on my roof pacing the events of lunch over and over. that pizza was disgusting i don't know how they eat it. i shivered thinking about it.

i don't have a problem. i know i'm not that anorexic. i eat stuff at home. i just don't get hungry in school i wish they would get that. i sat with my knees curled into my chest. watching the sun set. i jumped as my phone rang breaking the silence

dad <3

i tapped the little green dot pressing the phone to my ear. "hey dad."

"hey mija, how was school?" he asked. "good" i shot out a quick lie.

"i don't know what time im gonna be home tonight but i don't count on it being early." he explained. it was usual. dads schedule was messy. i liked it better than when he was in the air force. he works in welding now. he gets short notice on jobs and doesn't know how long it will take until he gets there.

"okay. its alright." i shiver in the breeze.

"i love you too. if you're up when i get out i'll bring home some food."

"bring chic-fil-a." i giggle. i listen to him talk barely focusing. a scuffling noise took me out of my tiny trance. i looked around trying to find the source. another scuffle closer. i moved closer to the window with the phone still to my ear. then the gutter dipped in making a terrifying noise. a hand moved from the gutter to the roof followed by another and up came swooped light brown hair and ray-ban glasses.

the sight of me must have startled him and he lost the grip of one hand. i quickly used my non occupied phone and grabbed his arm helping him up. "aleyia what was that?" my dad asks.

"uh. nothing i have my window open and some stray cats are fighting in the neighborhoors yard." i lied. i was becoming good at that recently. lying so well that i believed it.

"close the window it's cold out. i'm not heating the outside." i smirk at my dads typical parent speech. "alright dad. i'm gonna go watch a movie." i cut the conversation short and said the usual goodbyes, and hung up the phone.

"sorry to interrupt." he said taking a seat next to me. "you know it's a little cold to be sitting outside." he said stated rubbing his arms.

"come on." i lead him in through the window. once his long ass legs pass through the window i shut it cutting off the breeze. i sat criss cross apple sauce on my bed as ryan found a spot in my desk chair. "what's up?" i ask

there was a long moment of silence and tension before he spoke up "i'm sorry about lunch." he looked at his hands. "ben told me you ran off the the bathroom, i feel so bad. did we push you or something? i didn't actually think you were anorexic. i feel like shi-"

"ryan." i cut him off, "i don't have an eating disorder."  i say calmly.

"didn't you go into the bathroom to... y'know?"

"i didn't throw up. i cried." i explained. "i got overwhelmed."

"really?"  he asked shocked. i nodded in response. he got up from the chair and wrapped his arms around me as i was still on the bed. he kneeled down in-front of me holding my hands. "i'm so sorry."

"you don't have to be sorry, now get out before my dad comes home." i laugh. he pecks me on the cheek and opens up my window.

"i'll see you at school." he says before climbing through the little whole and climbing off the roof. i shut the window and sighed a breath of relief.

if only he knew i was lying through the whole thing.

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November 30, 2019
661 words

ily 🥺

d ☁️