mine (rd.benji)

-twenty four

aleyia

i watched as the small black car pulled up infront of me coming to a stop before the dead end. i struggled my best to stand up and grab my board.

i heard the car door open "holy shit what happened to you"

i looked up to ryan rushing over to me. he grabbed me letting me put most of my weight on him. "i fucking ate it"

"jesus aleyia i have never met anyone as accident prone as you are."  he opened the car door for me and helped me in. i winced as i slid into the seat trying to be gentle on my road rash.

he closed the door behind me and made the way around to his. "why aren't you at home? it's thanksgiving."

i looked down at my scraped up palms and legs.

"hello. earth to aleyia." he waved his hand infront of my face starting the car.

"oh sorry." i swallowed the lump in my throat. "my dad is out of town."

"you're kidding. have you eaten?"

"yeah i had some kfc." i explained trying to turn on my phone to find it dead.

"kfc is not a holiday meal." i heard ryan's tires squeak on the pavement as he made a hard right turn away from my street.

"where are you taking me?" i interrogate him.

"i'm taking you to my house to eat an actual meal." he looked over at me "oh and to clean up that leg."

—

i sat comfortably on ryan's bed looking at my newly bandaged leg. both legs ached more that a couple ibuprofen could handle.

"ryan this shit hurts really bad." i admitted with a look of pain on my face that i couldn't hide anymore.

"hold on i have something." ryan stood up and went to his dresser drawer. i heard a bunch of plastics moving together as it opened. i couldn't pinpoint the noise until i was facing it.

a whole sock drawer full of prescription drugs. prescriptions that i don't think we're his. i sat in shock for a second watching ryan pick up and replace several bottles reading the labels.
he turned and tossed me one i caught it quickly with a shake as it landed in my palms.

"take one of those." ryan said closing the drawer and plopping back on the bed. i looked at him confused.

"what is this?" i read the label.

REYNOLDS, TESSA
Alprazolam
take one capsule by mouth daily

"ryan why do you have these? i don't trust this shit."

"just take it." he took the bottle out of my hands and unscrewed the cap and placed two
in my hand. "everyone does it."

i sat for a second staring at the pills on my skin. i moved my gaze back to my stinging legs. i swallowed my pride and tossed the pills back with a sip of water.

"good job. wasn't so hard was it." ryan said replacing the bottle in the drawer and sitting down.

i sat still shaking out of nerves. i just kept my focus on the tv trying to ignore the thoughts in my brain.

—

after 40 minutes everything was different. i was sweating but i was cold and i couldn't stop shaking. i couldn't ignore the thoughts. i felt like my entire body was panicking. i finally pulled out my phone and googled alprazolam.

xanax..

i just took 2 bars of xanax.

my eyes widen and i looked at ryan. he looked back at me with furrowed brows. "holy shit what's wrong?"

"you gave me xanax?"

he sat there quietly "i thought you knew."

i quickly stood up and left the room. i felt like i was moving in slow motion and the whole world was following behind me.

"aleyia wait!" ryan yelled. i started running. i couldn't let him catch up with me i didn't know what he was going to do. why would he make me take xanax.

i ignored all the feeling in my legs and booked it down ryan's street in the pitch black darkness. i didn't know what time it was or where i was but i wasn't stopping. my mind was telling me to move.

i had watched so many people take bars before and i never saw them react like this they were always calmer, almost like they were zombies.

i took a hard right and ducked behind a corner with someone's fence and a garbage can covering me. i sat as quiet as possible trying to catch my sporadic breaths. i was shaking even more now. i sat tightly pressed against the fence. everything felt like a horror movie. i watched as a fast pair of headlights flew past me. it watched as ryan's car flew past the road.

i sat still after his car pulled off the street. silence lingered for once in vegas. i crawled lightly to the sidewalk peaking down the street to a street sign lit up by a light above. i crawled back behind the garbage can in the dark and grabbed my phone from my pocket.

i listened to the phone ring repeatedly in my ear alongside the sound of my heart beating.

"hello." i heard the words and relief rushed through me in tears.

"i need help."

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october 30, 2020
463 words

hi i'm so so so sorry i haven't updated in so long i just had no inspiration but i have some free time now so i'll try and push a couple chapters out. i hope you guys like this one (:

d ☁️