mine (rd.benji)

- nineteen

aleyia

november was flying through. thanksgiving break was four days away and i intended on spending it the same way i had spent the past month. with benji.

everything was so fucking fun for the two of us. we texted constantly, we snapped constantly. for some reason this kid had my mind running. i zoned out at my desk. it was really easy to not give a fuck during psychology when the teacher talked like any adult in snoopy. the bell rang and i was more than ready to leave. i ran my earbuds through my hoodie letting the good vibes play in my ear.

"aleyia." i heard my name from behind me. i turned ready to be met with benji. i froze. towering over me was 6'2 brown haired cameron looking like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"what." i snapped. i wasn't sad anymore. and i didn't feel bad for him for looking like this. i got fucked over and i'm pissed for that. it take all of my strength to not bash sophie's head into a wall every time i see her.

"can we please talk?" he begs.

"i don't have anything to say." i say quickly trying to get away fast.

"please aleyia let me explain." he grabs my hands in his. i quickly push him off.

"one, there is nothing to explain. two, it's taken you like a month to talk to me? stop sulking in your sadness dude. you cheated on me. plain and simple. it's over." i raise my voice to him.

"you're breaking my heart babe. i never meant to do it. i care so much. just give me another chance please." i watched some pity tears welt up.

i sat there looking at the ground shaking my head.

"say something please. you're acting like you don't care, like did this even hurt you?" he blurts out.

"you think this didn't hurt me?" i scoff. "dude. you fucking cheated on me! with a bitch that you know i hate! you screwed me over and i really did give a fuck about you!" i paused catching my breath after screaming in the empty hallway.

"you're with him aren't you?" i watched him start to cry.

"who?" i ask still angry.

"benji"

—

benji

i heard it all from the first floor bathroom. i stood there staring at the door.

"why do you-"

"answer the question!" he cut her off loudly. i got ready to bolt toward the door but cyrus's arm stopped me. my jaw clenched tighter than ever. "chill. he's just mad, you're not together."

"why would i be mad that people think we're together? he's fucking yelling at her." i say quietly.

"no." i heard her say quietly. that hurt a little. i knew we werent together but it felt like we were. i felt my self doubt drown me from the neck down and i big my tounge lightly bringing myself back together.

"whatever." i heard stomps storming off and the quiet sound of a school door opening moments after.

i went out quickly without thinking to find her. as soon as the hall lights i caught a glimpse of her walking quickly from the school.

—

aleyia

i woke up suddenly from a knock at my window. i jumped almost flying off my little bed. i looked to find benji staring back.

"open it." he said loud enough for me to hear through the glass. i unlocked it and slid back letting him in.

"you never lock the window." he said sliding the window up and slid back letting him in.

benji

"yeah i'm okay." she lied. i was getting better at how to tell when she was hiding shit from me.

"stop lying. you don't have to lie to me i wanna know." i explain grabbing her hand. we sat silent for a second as she played with my hand debating what to say.

the more time i spend with her the more shit i pick up on. like the way she takes time to think about the things she needs to say. and the way she likes to trace shapes on my chest when we lay together with her long acrylics. or when she's tired and gets really quiet and zones out. 

"i brought you this." i pull out her skateboard from my bag. when she left she left it in her locker.

she let go of my hand and just wrapped her arms around me burring her head in my chest. i dropped the skateboard on the floor. this wasn't something i had picked up in before. "i don't know how to feel." she mumbled into my chest.

"feel about what?" i ask confused. "us." she responded quickly.

i felt my heart pound in my chest and she must have heard it. i didn't know either. i wanted to be with her but i liked everyone not knowing but i wanted everyone to know i had her.

"let me take you on a date."

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february 19, 2020
863 words

i'm sorry this took so long to make its really a filler. i'll try and get back on my grind i just had no inspiration.

d ☁️