mine (rd.benji)

- twenty six

benji

i wasn't gonna sleep. not when she was like this. i made sure when we got back to her house that she threw up even if that meant shoving my hands down her throat. i fixed the bandages on her legs that where covered in dirt after putting her in a shower. i changed her into pyjamas and now i just sat there. watching her. listening to her quiet breaths.

i didn't know what to do. she looked so broken in my arms. her shaking and her eyes rolling back into her head. that shit was terrifying. she was so pale. i cant figure out how two xans had that bad of a reaction.

she shuffled a little moving from her back to her side facing away from me. towards the garbage can i set on the floor just in case she had to throw up. i rubbed her back softly moving the wet hair out of the way.

i've seen people like that before. i've seen bad trips and i've seen overdoses but i've never had this reaction. i was always worried about getting caught. i was worried about myself not the person freaking the fuck out. but something about this scared me. i know aleyia has greened out before but it was always funny. the pills ryan gave her fucked her up.

i tried to close my eyes and forget it but something was telling me i wasn't getting much sleep.

—

aleyia

i woke up in my bed so confused how i ended here. i looked around quickly to a trash bin on the floor infront of me and my phone plugged in on the night stand. i picked it up and read the time as 1o:37 am. i looked down to the hand on my waist and turned to see benji asleep next to me.

what the fuck happened last night. i slid softly
out of benjis grasp stepping out of bed to be met with immediate pain in my legs. i stumbled a little catching myself. i looked at my legs that were covered in white wrapped bandages in areas around my knees and calf's.

part of the night flew back into my head. ryan picked me up after i fell on my board. i should probably thank him. he must have called benji over. i clicked on my phone to dozens of missed calls and texts.

"woah." i said quietly

missed call (12) from ryan

ryan
aleyia where the fuck did you go.
2:14 am

ryan
aleyia this isn't funny come the fuck on.
2:19 am

ryan
don't tell anyone what i gave you i will get in so much trouble
2:22 am

cyrus
aleyia are you okay?
2:23 am

missed call (6) from cyrus

cyrus
where did you go we are worried
2:34 am

missed call (8) from maria

ryan
fuck it we're giving up
2:56 am

what the fuck happened to me? what did ryan give me?

"aleyia?" i heard benji ask worried from the other room in a raspy tone.

"aleyia!" he repeated louder and more panicked. i quickly waddled out into the room

"what? i'm right here." i said holding onto the door.

"holy shit i didn't know where you went. you scared me." he said with a wave of relief washing over him.

"i was just in the bathroom why is that so scary?" i asked confused.

he looked at me for a moment. "you really don't remember what happened to you last night?"

—

it was hard to take everything in. ryan had me
take xanax and i almost overdosed. or atleast that's what they're saying. i don't know how many milligrams he gave me but it was enough to send me over the edge the way benji says i did.

i can only remember bits and pieces. i remember being behind the garbage cans and i can faintly remember being in benji's car but that's it.

"what do i do?" i asked benji. "should i say anything to ryan? or cyrus and maria? they were out looking for me last night."

"no. ryan wasn't looking for you cause he cared he was trying to cover his own ass so no one would know he was dealing prescriptions." he explained to me harshly. "when i see him it's on sight."

"benji hes like 6'1 idk if you could even reach that high." i joked.

"wanna bet?" he said raising his eyebrows.

"no. all i'm saying is what is kicking his ass gonna do the damage is done." we sat there both collectively thinking.

"i'm just pissed he did that to you. that's fucked up." benji explained

"i know i just-" i was cut off by benji's phone ringing.

"hold up." he answered. "what's good."

after about a minute of silence he spoke again "yeah i'll be there." before hanging up.

"i gotta go. be safe." he pecked my forehead before getting off the bed and grabbing his keys and hoodie and leaving the room.

i sat still looking at the door after he left. ryan was like an older brother to me. he cared about me. he watched over me. why did he give me those pills. why did he pressure me the way he did. part of me didn't want to believe it and the worse part was i couldn't even remember most of it. am i even gonna figure out the truth.

"i know who to call." i thought out loud.

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october 31, 2020
939 words

i hope three chapters today kinda makes up for being gone so long. happy halloween

(: