(Ik I'm super late, I forgot to post this)
Till: FLAKEWAKEUPITSNOVEMBER16TH
YOUARE53NOWAAAAAAA
Flake: shut your big mouth i will clap you
Till: *throws him down the stairs into a dark room*
Everyone: SURPRISE!
Flake: AAAAAAAAAA
*clutches his chest*
Paul: ooo my lil boi is in love :D
Oli: nein, he's having a mini heart attack
Richard: typical Flake
Always coming close to death
Like that time he drank floor polish
Schneider: ah, memories
So sublime, they are
Till: ...
Since when were you sophisticated
Schneider: *grabs him by the collar and puts him against the wall*
I've reached the stage where I am not full of rage, let me have this or out comes the wig!
Till: *gulps*
Yes, Schneider
Schneider: *punches him*
That's Sir C. D. Schneider Esquire to you, you uncultured swine of a man
*lets him down*
Now, let us all enjoy the sublime occasion of Master Flake Lorenz's birthday
*takes a sip of wine*
Flake: i don't know why you lot are so excited, this just means that I'm a year closer to death
Richard: shut up and open my present
Flake: *opens it*
Wow
An avocado seed
Richard: like your Adam's Apple
Oli: *slowly hands him a box*
here
Flake: *opens it*
:0
A big bottle of Jacob Creek's Champagne 1991!
How did you know I wanted this
Oli: oh, i don't know, probably from that big banner that said
"Get me a big bottle of Jacob Creek's Champagne 1991"
Paul: *pushes Oli*
OPEN MINE NEXT!
Flake: *opens it to reveal a naked Barbie doll*
GIRL, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!
Paul: DO YOU LIKE IT?
IT'S SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE A BONER FOR ONCE BECAUSE YOU ARE NEVER HORNY, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE GETTING PUSSY!
Flake: o-oh ja, paul, it's great
*puts it in the bin*
Schneider: *hands him a present*
I do hope that this will bring you happiness on this day, Master Lorenz, especially after these monstrosities
*points at Paul and Richard's gifts*
Flake: *opens it*
:0
OMG A KITTEN I'M SCREAMING SCHNEIDER I LOVE YOU
*hugs him*
Imma name him Doom, best present ever
Till: uh, Flake, you forgot my present
I made you this cake
It's banana because I know that's your favourite
Flake: oh Gott ja, I love banana, this cake is mine, it's all for me, you can't have any
*cuts it*
Paul: why is it so hard to cut
Flake: what's happening I'm scared
Till: *tells Schneider what's happening*
Schneider: oh Gott
Sir Lindemann, in an intensely unusual manner, has baked a jumper into the cake
Flake: I'm going to be sick
I'm not going to wear a cake jumper, this is disgusting, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me
*throws it down*
Till: *slowly walks away and shakes*
*inhales*
*intensely cries*
Flake: I'll eat the cake though
