I need you (Saioma) *Finished*

-Chapter Two-

I looked up from my crying to see the whole class in the room including a concerned Shuichi standing in front of me. I put my head back down. The man I love, my best friend, and the one that broke my heart, was concerned for me. That shattered my glass heart even more. I started to sob at this point, and Shu kept trying to talk and calm me down. Little did he know that he was the reason. I felt his arms strongly grip my shoulders from behind and pull me to a hug. I quickly turned to him and cried into his chest.  Although his relationship was the thing that broke me, crying into his arms wasn't an issue with me. I would just lie about what was troubling me. I sobbed for a bit longer just thinking of what we could've been and how he can be like that with her now. Thoughts like that fueled the fire of my tears and suddenly, I couldn't bring myself to cry anymore. I wanted to cry more, but I couldn't. So I just leaned into his shirt and focused on my breathing. Once he realized I had stopped, he pushed my body up, and stared at me. It was then that I had realized that everyone was staring at me. This has been my first moment of weakness in front of them all and it was to be my last. I was shaken out of thought by Shuichi who was still super concerned. "Ko, Are you okay? You really don't seem yourself and I've never seen you this sad, especially outside of your dorm. And you didn't wake me this morning either. Is everything alright?" He blurted out towards me.

      "I'm okay Shu, I just had a rough night. I haven't been feeling myself. I'll be okay though, and I'm sorry for not waking you, I just wanted some coffee." I lied. I hated lying to Shuichi out of all people. He was the only one I trusted and I just lied to him, it felt wrong.

     "As long as you're okay Koko, I care about you a lot and I'm here if you need me. And if you really want coffee, I'll pay for it next time." Shuichi smiled back. "I'll be going to my seat now, but call me if you need me." He finished.

        And with that Shuichi sat at his seat and started talking to Kaede. After watching them talk for a bit, I saw her reach for his hand and him begin to hold it back. I felt a burning sensation in heart. At this moment, I knew I was truly too late. But I guess I could find a way to be okay as long as he was happy. Or I could at least act like I was okay for him. Ah yes, I could put on my simple school persona and hide the side that loves him from him. I can be honestly about everything else except for the part about me envying his girlfriend for having him. Yup, sounds like normal Kokichi to me, just lying and lying. The bell rang signaling the beginning of class and the end of my thoughts and our teacher entered the room. She began to teach the lesson. The day went relatively like normal from there. The only difference was the feeling of being numb that I developed to hide my emotions. Hours passed, bells rang, lunch was eaten, and just like that the school day was over. I grabbed all my stuff and headed for the door. Not too far behind me came Shuichi and Kaede. Time for the Act.

         "Helloooooo lovely couple" I shouted as they approached. They both seemed puzzled by my sudden burst of energy and honestly I was too. However, they bought it and waved back. Once they caught up, my heart broke a bit, but I still held on to the act I pulled everyday. We continued to walk towards our dorms like me and Shu always did, except she was there.  There was really no difference with her being there, it only made me feel lonelier than I already was. The more I looked at her, the more upset I got. She was living my dream and she didn't deserve it as much as I did. She didn't have to suffer like I did, she got him with a smile and her words. The feeling of being upset, turned quickly to anger. I glared at her as we headed out of the school gates and passed the senior dorms. Shuichi caught a glance of me doing this and seemed confused. Once I realized this, I quickly switched to starting a "lively" conversation. "Sooooo power couple, how was your dayyy? nehehehe" I faked towards them.

"My day was fantastic Kokichi, thanks for asking" Kaede smiled back, "And how was your day?"

"My day was fineeeeeee. Rather boring if I say" I said back happily. If I'm being honest, my day was ass, I nearly threw up like 8 different times, barely kept down lunch, and almost jumped off the building. Really anyone with eyes could see that my day was bad. But somehow, Kaede bought it. She nodded and said "That's great! I'm glad your day turned around.". Meanwhile, Shu looked over to me and gave a strange look. He wasn't convinced at all. He saw right through the act. Once I realized this, we all realized we were outside of
Our dorms. The sophomore dorms were right there in front of us.

"Alright Koko, I'm gonna take Kaede to her dorm, then head back from homework. We can hang out tomorrow if you'd like" Shuichi spoke.

"Okay, that's fine by me, I'll see you tomorrow" I said before absolutely booking it for my dorm. Luckily for me it was only 3 dorms in, but I was there in no time. I slammed my door behind me, flopped on my bed, and sobbed once more. How could he see through me? I screamed in my head, and Why does he not love me? I yelled. I was in so much pain realizing that no matter what, he could see through my lies now. This made me love him more, but it crushed me at the same time. I decided to just lay there and get all my feelings out once more. This lead to sleep again.

And so the cycle continued....