His Yasmina [Completed]

Chapter 42-Cristiano

Cristiano.

His mind wandered again and again back to his wife. 

His new home should have felt like home, but being there alone without her by his side felt...wrong.  No amount of music, the smell of coffee, even the furniture filling up the space felt alien.  He stared at the paperwork on his in-home office, undisturbed since their sexual encounter just two weeks ago. 

It felt more like a lifetime. 

He was a prisoner.  Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the look in Yasmina's face after she used him.  Her victory for making him feel worthless worked. She deliberately used and discarded him in the same manner he did to her.

A new found disgust for his actions flooded him.  

Her rejection settled deeply in his bones.  He was burning with angry shame.  It was terrible to humiliated by his own actions in front of a woman whose respect and admiration he longed for. 

He swallowed his pride.  His insecurities overtaking him.

He couldn't fault her.  He deserved much more and he still didn't deserve a woman such as her.  After days of wondering, thinking, he understood she was wounded and lashing out. He'd forgotten his Yasmina had claws and showed them rarely. It's one of the unique qualities that attracted him to her. 

But it was her expression alone left him standing in a dead end.  It was cold and lacked remorse.  The innocent, alluring woman he'd met nearly a year ago no longer existed.  The woman who had hope in her eyes and a bright and successful future burned to a crisp. 

She was different. 

The look in her hard eyes was different. 

Her heart had hardened.

She truly did not need him or want him in her life. 

He'd torn through her life, broke down her confidence, ruined her future and sentenced her to a life she never asked for. 

Cristiano hung his head.  He'd lost her.  Torn apart by deception. 

He'd made a mistake.  A horrible mistake.  Believing that there was nothing as important as protecting his family, his legacy, his empire.  It continued to cost him.  Dearly.   He never thought in his life, he'd ever reach this low point in his life.  Never in his life had he ever had to work so hard for anything. 

She was challenging his every weakness.  Pushing him past his limits and he honestly did not know what to do next.  Should he beg at her feet some more?  What more would it take for her to see they were meant for one another?  He'd said everything he meant in his heart.  He showed her everything he'd promised.  But she still didn't allow him in her heart. 

He wanted more of a chance to show her that he loved her.  But even that didn't work if she wasn't prepared to forgive him.

What was it going to take to break down the icy wall keeping her heart caged from him?  What was the key?  Did he even have another chance to make things right?

Cristiano raked a hand through his dark hair in frustration. 

The prospect of retiring to his old life without her was unbearable.  But how could he face her, continue concealing the desperation beneath the surface of stoic resolve.  He didn't know. 

It hurt.  It hurt to know your love was one-sided.  It hurt to know it was entirely his own fault.  He did this to himself and lead her to do this to him.   There was no point in having everything if he couldn't share it with the woman he loved.  She was home, his beacon of light,  his heart and his entire soul.