Sophia's P.O.V.
Every year the guys make a list rating all the girls from number one all the way to the last girl. I was in the top ten last year because of my ex and popularity status. I had never been in the top ten before so I didn't expect it this year. My 13 or so. This is nothing extraordinary about my looks, I'm not exactly pretty. I'm just decent. I like to dress up and try to be pretty even though I'm not exactly girly. This is why I just decided to lay low and ignore the list this year. If I wasn't in the top ten what would it matter? Today was the day it would be shown at lunch. Lunch would be tearful and full of anger. I decided to skip lunch. I left and went to my next class and asked if I could wait there. My phone buzzed and it was a text from Dasha. I unlocked my phone and read the text message.
Dasha: Are you ok?
Assuming she was wondering where I was, I replied.
Sophia: Yeah, I'm fine I went to my next class to eat.
Dasha: You deserve a much higher mark! Those guys are just stupid.
That's when I knew something was horribly wrong. I told the teacher I would be back and ran into the cafeteria. Ethan was standing outside the cafeteria door waiting for me. He squeezed me really tight and started comforting me. After about 45 second I asked what he was talking about. He pulled out a copy of the paper and I stared at it five second before opening it. My eyes searched lower and lower. I became anxious as I looked, 5...12...18...23...my eyes got teary...27...30...34...36... finally my eyes settled on 38. I can't believe I was rated number 38. I looked at Ethan and stared into his eyes. I needed to go. I couldn't handle the embarrassment. He knew what I wanted and grabbed my hand. I trailed after him to his car and got in. As I sat there, I looked out the window and silently cried. Once I got out he asked if I wanted him to stay and I whispered a no. I needed some alone time. It would be so much easier to be a guy. No more judging, bad treatment and self-consciousness. I took a Tylenol so my head would quite throbbing. I look at the medication cabinet wondering how many pills it would take to escape. I went to bed staring at the ceiling knowing I'd end up dreaming of death.
