Supernatural Thoughts and Quotes or How big of an asshole God really is

2x20 What is and What Should Never Be

Dean to John's Headstone: "But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?"

Dean is the kind of hero that would sacrifice his own happiness for other people's lives without hesitating, but when it comes to the happiness of his loved ones, he wants to do everything in his power to preserve that. I feel like even in John's death, in his absence as a father and a hunter, Dean knows what he has to do, because he would've demanded it of him (9). Also this is the first time Dean could actually ask his father why he had to be the hero, why he had to sacrifice his own life, his own happiness, his own good for other people, because deep down he thinks he deserves to be happy, to live the life he wants, especially after everything he sacrificed, even though he's accepted his job, his purpose. Furthermore the fact that he only could speak from his heart, how he feels about his life and all the pain he's experienced when his father is dead and can't confront or punish or judges him for it, which in turn speaks volumes in relation to their relationship.

Dean's last question can also be interpreted as an indirect salutation to the father of all, God himself. Dean asks God, why it had to be him to feel all the pain and all the loss and all the evil and the answer to that question wouldn't be: because these people needed saving, because after all God is the one who put them in these types of dangerous situation, because God is responsible for all the bad in the world (and maybe, just maybe also a little good) regardless if it was directly or indirectly induced. In fact, God's answer would be the same as in all the previous cases: because the story needed it, because it was epic, it was entertaining, it was what the climax required.

The fact that Dean says his family isn't SUPPOSED to live their happy, normal, suburb lives, suggest that he again believes that there is in fact some sort of bigger picture or plan or destiny or whatever over which he doesn't have control over. Is that the next step of his believe? Because last time he was open to the idea of the existence of a plan from God and now he sees it with his own eyes that no matter the wish, the god power of the Djinn, the reality, he doesn't have a choice regarding his own life, his own happiness. He accepted that this is just something he doesn't get to have, which is another symptom of his depression and God, the asshole, does absolutely nothing about it! How much can you actually hate someone? (10)

Dean says just before "it's like my old life doesn't want me to be happy" which is kinda true, but instead of his old life, it's God who doesn't want him to be happy, 'cause that would just be boring to read, wouldn't it? The fact that God shows Dean "what is and what should never be", shows him, how happy he could've been in another life, but instantly crushing this image, this hope, that that might actually still be possible (in another form of course, but still happy), demonstrates how cruel God is and that he's not only ready, but willing to crush and break his favorite character for the sake of his story, because nothing and I mean NOTHING beats the importance of a good storyline.

Basically all God wants us to show with this episode is that no matter the circumstances, no matter the issues of their relationship, no matter the reality, Sam will always choose Dean, and Dean will always choose Sam, because they are brother and nothing beats family. On the one hand is this super sweet and touching and underline the extremely deep bond they share, but on the other hand this is just sickening that God let's Dean go through all this pain just to describe, underline and illustrate the character ties between the protagonists. And no matter what situations they get into, they'll always find a way to each other,(11) just as God wants them to be together. So basically the story will always go where God intended it to go and exactly where he wants it to be, because this alterative reality is starting to become like the start of the series aka the start of God's story. There's no escaping!

(9) You can see that realization sink in at the end of the scene, when Dean expresses his feelings and his frustration and his desperation, but quickly builds his wall back up by wiping away his tears and accepting his fate, his purpose?

(10) God, I'm talking to you if you haven't noticed.

(11) This is shown through many parallels to the very first episode or early episodes of the series.